It's quite strange that there is some guys that get laid regularly yet they still prefer PMO?

i am one of those guys.i am married man but prefer pmo over real sex with wife.
why?
well,pmo edging,variety of women,the excitement is endless while sex with wife is alot of work.watching porn while M is alot easier and has high dopomine.
strange it is early morning and my brain is saying i need to masturbation to naked pictures but i know the smart thing is to resist the urge.the thought will pass.

 

I have a simple answer to this: Over stimulation. Porn is a huge overload of dopamine ( High speed porn, multiple tabs open, ). Same as junk food over regular food.

But, you are right, it is messed up.

 

It’s about the novelty in having millions of beautiful people and scenes to choose from. One single romantic partner can’t compete with that. This is one reason why it’s such a problem. For a porn addict, the brain learns to favor effortless attainment of the “perfect” fantasy (P), over the challenging pursuit of an imperfect reality (sex with your partner). Of course, the pleasure from PMO is not sustainable and there are terrible consequences to this as many of us know. But that is why we are still hooked despite having an attractive sex partner.

Even if you’re sleeping around with multiple people, the same still applies. You can always find someone hotter, sl*ttier, or whatever, online ... and have many choices. For much less work. And I believe sleeping around casually tends to get the mind in a lustful state (chasing novelty and frivolous sex) and thus prone to supplementing with PMO.

It is a sickness for sure.

 

It does not seem strange to me at all, I wish it did.

There are so many reasons this happens but let me pick two.

Men and our obsessions
@skaterdrew do you have any hobbies? I have too many and they tend to change, but I get really into them. Take fishing. I use to go fishing, and often when I wasn't fishing I would be reading magazines about fishing, watching DVDs about fishing, or browsing the internet for new fishing ideas. All of that is very recognisable, no? But you could replace the word "fishing" with "watching beautiful naked women" and it would still work. Why does this behaviour make sense to you for fishing and not for pursuing beautiful women?

Validating our broken identity
Suppose something in your upbringing gave you a broken sense of what women were. You didn't see them fully as other people but more as a prize to be won. You are good at it, so you "get laid frequently by loads of different beautiful women" but you need to keep reaffirming that your way of seeing the world is correct. Watching porn is a great way to do that.

There are millions of other reasons that seemingly successful men watch porn, these are just the first two that came to mind.

But back to my first point. When I read what the wives and girlfriends write here they are often shocked and hurt that their men chose porn when they were in the next room desperate for sexual intimacy. It does not shock me at all, but part of me wishes it did. It would be great to share that naive belief in life. There's something horribly cynical about the real world. I know that's a silly way to see things—I should find a way to see the real world as positive and naivity as a passing phase—but I cannot help seeing naivity as good and the real world as broken when it comes to men and sex. That's probably part of my probem, that failure to acknowledge myself positively.

So I hope you hang on to your incredulity, it sounds like a great state to be in; I wish I could join you there.

 

Whats the terrible consequences of PMO

 

1. Just to do both does not mean that you prefer both...
2. It's like having junk food instead of standing in the kitchen and cooking yourself a nice and healthy meal for one hour.

 

Yes, that what i wanted to say

 

Having sex with lots of different women is still objectifying women and still addiction, sex addiction, this is similar to porn addiction. I thought this is what we are trying to escape. An unhealthy view of sex, people and interactions.

 

Humans are by nature lazy creatures. our modern lifestyle of overworking, under sleeping and constant low-effort entertainment in the form of video games, TV and music contributes to this. Loosely speaking, there is never enough time for us to do all the things that we want to do - at least, not without seriously examining exactly what it is that we want, which most people don't make time to do

PMo versus sex? It's low effort, with the 'same' (at least, on a basic level) reward. Having a life partner isn't sex on tap, you know. Even if it was, a lot of men feel too tired for sex and yet are able to masturbate to porn.

It can also be connected to your memory, and the damage you did to yourself growing up with pmo. In nearly ten years single, virtually all my sexual experiences were interacting with the screen. So it is still more familiar to me than proper sex. If I give up pmo for longer than a few days, I don't fantasise about sex, I fantasise about watching porn.

It always concerns me when the perpetually single (nothing wrong with that, I have been there too) guys on here think that finding a girlfriend will make all their problems go away.

 

For me the consequences have been to waste so much of my potential for 20+ years of my life, preoccupied constantly with perverse thoughts, unsatisfied with my sex life because it could never live up to the perversions I’d developed due to porn, wasting time, operating at a lower energy level than I now realize is possible. Lack of focus. Coping with PMO and not confronting my real mental/emotional issues. Always wanting to satisfy my desires with lowly pleasures. Etc etc.

 

Do you prefer an animal family where all your daughters are regularly raped by the alpha males and the laws of the jungle exist so it is kill or be killed. Or do you want to live in a human society where there are family values, children enjoy having both parents around for Christmas and birthdays etc. But I understand the appeal of everyone being naked like animals and fucking anything beautiful that walks, but to me that is not the society I want to live in. I prefer a society less primitive. I understand that porn uses supranormal stimuli to amplify primal behaviour and aims to make that dominate everything else. Unfortunately it leads to PIED, sissification and all kind of weird things that I would prefer to avoid. I understand as a teenage boy/20s it is good to fuck a lot of women to gain experience. A guy who spends his whole life just fucking random women, what does he achieve, he is no more than an animal. I believe as men we have to use our lives to build good things for society, that doesn’t mean we cannot enjoy sex.

 

Thanks, I understand and agree with your points. I do believe that we can control these basic instincts like we are all trying to control PMO. I agree that when relationships lack variety then people cheat, but the alternative is to constantly work on relationships making them deeper and more exciting.