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35 and older accountability, Group 2

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by persona2903, Nov 13, 2019.

  1. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Nice to be away from the computer for a few days, enjoying some time at the beach. Of course lots of images there that frankly are P subs and potentially triggering. I had to make sure that I wasn't getting lulled into complacency. If so, what I saw over the weekend could have lapsed me. From all of my AA friends, you should never think you're "cured". Once an addict, always an addict. Another poster here refers to that as "reptilian brain". So I'm focusing on logical brain here, the intellectual awareness. It's like that addict brain is trying to fool me - "you're fine dude, relax" - and once you do, then the temptation creeps in and bad action follows. Just this morning I had a brief thought, a memory of what my addict brain would have me doing at that moment - heading for the PMO! The thought passed quickly, and then logical brain said - let's go to the site and reconnect to the resource that has gotten you this far. Thanks for your support. Stay strong everyone.
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2020
    Barakah, John Call and persona2903 like this.
  2. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Barakah and John Call like this.
  3. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    You are in!
     
    Barakah likes this.
  4. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    You are now a member!
     
    Barakah and John Call like this.
  5. Barakah

    Barakah Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the new members!
    And congrats to those who hit 3 months
    And RightEffort who reached 9 months

    Theses days I try to meditate minimum 2 times a day
    I also downloaded the app sleep cycle to improve my sleep and I wake up more refreshed thanks to this

    I've been very tempted, I edged a bit but keep going
     
  6. Liberation111

    Liberation111 Fapstronaut

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    Great. Thank you. Happy to be part of a AP group. I will report at least once a week. I report daily in my 365 day challenge.
     
  7. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    [​IMG]
    On many occasions we are self-destructive ... we are sure that the worst will happen. We take for granted that what always happened will happen, even when it doesn't have to be, even when we don't want it to.
    When I was young someone told me the story of the little elephant that was tied to a stake so that it would not escape ... no matter how hard he tried, he could not get rid of that rope and he gave up. Being big, his strength and musculature developed and he could easily have pulled that stake to go ... but he was convinced that it could not be done, as he had already tried long ago.
    Our history is not repeating circles of failure. What never happened can and should happen.
    May we live today believing that victory is within reach, escaping the feeling of certainty of failure that our memories bring us.
     
    RightEffort, Barakah and John Call like this.
  8. John Call

    John Call Fapstronaut

    My dear friends, i want to share with you my first achievement of 30 days free of PMO.

    Today i'm 31 days free of PMO, passing the 30 days is a huge success for me, i'm feeling great today, even that until yesterday i was suffering and yesterday i was gonna lose it by watching P to the extend that i downloaded a P movie from torrents and after the movie was downloaded i did not watch it but I deleted it and went to sleep.

    I always thought of my self as a hopeless case, i failed almost more than a 1000 times to quit PMO, 30 days was a dream for me and now it's a truth for the first time in my life, all thanks are to you guys who are creating a community that each of us should use to quit for good, i'm not sure how far i still can go further than 30 days, as actually i suffered so much in them and it was not easy but i hope that this time i can quit for good.

    The surprise is today, after completing the 30 days and entering the 31 day as if i entered through a magic gate, all my blue balls pain gone all the depression that continued with me until yesterday gone, I'm very energetic and happy, i spoke with my wife after work about my work which I usually never do, i went to swim and i swam 350 meters after work, and i really feel I'm in a great shape.
     
  9. Barakah

    Barakah Fapstronaut

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    Congrats man 30 days is a big achievement
    I'd like to reach it once again. I relapsed today unfortunately.
    Keep going!
     
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  10. I just noticed our group is one of the most successful groups in accountablity thus far, this is not to get proud or think we are better but just noticing that we are as a group doing amazign and being grateful for the Grace and may others also be successful.
     
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  11. John Call

    John Call Fapstronaut

    This is so correct and that's why i was eager to join here due to the high competition in the group, keep it up guys you are all setting an example for people like me.
     
  12. JJones

    JJones Fapstronaut

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    I have had a reset again. Also, I am looking for an accountability partner. Nothing heavy, just to check in everyday by text or short call.
     
    persona2903 likes this.
  13. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    Go get each next day with strength. 30 days, really amazing. You are strong.
     
    persona2903 likes this.
  14. Liberation111

    Liberation111 Fapstronaut

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    Checking in second time this week. Happy to be here and writing each day in my 365 day challenge journal.

    today I have deep regrets. Deep depression. I am however aware at the same time that this is a most welcome cleansing process. Regrets and repentance coming from within to clean clear and correct myself.
     
  15. tonyk1982

    tonyk1982 Fapstronaut

    Day 2 - decided to declare a reset after a 35 day streak. No P involved, it was kinda sorta a chaser effect...no need to go into details. The wife has been very frisky this last week and that has brought back a level of sexual energy that I haven't felt in about a year and frankly re-connects me back to PMO days. For my entire life even when I was regularly intimate in a relationship that never ever stopped my PMO habit. Question is how to have an active sex life with the wife and not allow that to fuel my PMO addiction. Not sure right now how to go about that separation process. This is an interesting next step to dealing with my addiction. It was easier to avoid PMO when there was nothing going on physically with the wife. Since active sex life IRL and my PMO habit have been intertwined my entire life I have to figure out the next level of battling my PMO urges now that real life activity is back in play.
     
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  16. Liberation111

    Liberation111 Fapstronaut

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    For me it was a lot about finding balance. Me too had sex in various relations and my wife and the porn habit stayed. However it didn’t stay when I was deeper in love. That’s one thing. True intimacy. If that’s not there maybe difficult to separate the two. The other I found extremely helpful is finding balance in life. My life was too one sided and as much as I create balance as much is it easier to choose not to go into the addiction. For me it’s also ongoing work and reflection and looking at myself and truly working on clearing my wrong bad points, which are another cause how the addiction could grow.
     
    ANewFocus likes this.
  17. Thank you for taking the time to share it with us bro -

    Peroids of dark nights of the soul has been a huge part of many of our journey - this is what faith is all about to believe something good will come even when you dont see it or feel it just be with the process bro -

    ONE step at a time, one day at a time - I promise you may be just a step away from a breakthrough - be kind to yourself too - I respect your transparency and willingness to share this w/ us - to me this means Grace is with you and there for your success is inevitable because this is how it has been happening to me too
     
    ANewFocus likes this.
  18. ANewFocus

    ANewFocus Fapstronaut

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    This a difficult aspect of our journey. I haven’t found the answer either. The only thing I have found is to be vigilant in the days after intimacy with my wife.
     
    tonyk1982 likes this.
  19. Liberation111

    Liberation111 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you. I appreciate your message. Depression without being trapped in it but seeing it clear where it comes from is rather a liberation. Repentance I realize first time clearly is a washing clean of your soul. It’s beautiful to realize not from hear say but from within that such repentance truly about who you are what you did and how sorry you feel is like scrubbing off darkness and negativity off your soul. I can feel it today. No depression but way lighter.
     
    Last edited: Aug 15, 2020
    RightEffort likes this.
  20. exactly - I know what you mean - it is a true insight (in-sight) where we realize these within ourselves. Sometimes the most lonely times of my life became the most juicy and loving parts and sometimes the most depressing nights of my life became my most connected to Gods presence.

    May be thats why Saint paul says, when i'm weak i'm strong. as in when we go through weak points and challenges and cleanings we gain a new strength as our old self is slowly and painfully dying and something new is becoming to life.
     
    Liberation111 likes this.

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