Looking for secular, health-oriented friends here

I just opened up their page but I'm intrigued. I've started exploring the polyamory.com forum and am reading Sex At Dawn, an anthropological book investigated pre-agricultural societies' sexual behaviors. Learning so much. Shame has always been at the center of sexuality due to religion but as I'm recovering from the damage done by too much porn, so too am I learning to research and apply critical thinking skills to all the cultural narrative I inherited regarding sex and beginning to see sexuality in a whole new way. The farther I get from religion and addiction, the better my life becomes and the easier it is to express myself in relationship to others.

 

Thank you for not making this about religion. This thread is for people who want to congregate in celebration of human sexuality and sexual healing, not for proselytizing. If you and this other guy you're engaging with want to have a religious discussion, there are numerous other threads where you can do so. This is not the place.

 

I totally agree. Compulsive, uninhibited behavior is a problem no matter what form it takes. The opposite of addiction isn't abstinence, it's community. Hence why I wanted to find more like-minded people aiming for something similar to myself. I don't intend to never masturbate again. I intend to learn ways to use that energy in my body in meaningful ways that promote healthy relationship, creativity, and sexual pleasure that leaves me feeling rejuvenated instead of depleted. NoFap is just the preliminary phase of experiencing deeper sexual satisfaction in my life. It was never meant to be the end of the road for me as I've seen the more religious among this community intending it to be. Some people's "god" see sex as a sin; I see it as a celebration of life. NoFap is the beginning of that celebration. In a week's time, I'm going to begin practicing the yogic masturbation techniques I've been studying to learn how to circulate sexual energy throughout my body without ejaculating. I'm really excited to see where this can take me in my life. As someone who's been deeply repressed sexually due to religion, I can only imagine just how much I'm about to start learning about myself.

As for sex workers, many of my close (mostly female) friends have been or are strippers, cam girls, and somatic sexologists. The work they do is important. I firmly believe this work ought to be legalized throughout all of America. People need a sexual outlet and sometimes won't be able to find one in the form of a loving partner. The world would be a much safer place if sex work were legal and treated with the kind of respect it once held in antiquity.

 

I'd encourage everyone interested in discussing secular sexuality independent of religious debate to just ignore the fundamentalist troll. Don't give him anything to go off of. I know it's about as tempting to argue with an evangelical as it is to wank off, but both actions will leave you exhausted and with nothing to show for your efforts.

 

Yeah, semen retention practices are really challenging and community support is so helpful but damn if the guilt-ridden bible-beaters don't make it so much more miserable than it needs to be. I'm exploring polyamory.com and have found a wonderful secular community through the RecoveringfromReligion.org organization as well. I was raised southern baptist and have had a hell of a time (pun intended) getting all the indoctrination out of my head. Religion is what led me to abuse porn in the first place because I didn't have the option of exploring my sexuality with another human being. The guilt and shame tied into the overwhelming force of my sexuality was agony but there was no escaping it- as a species that shares 98.7% of our DNA with bonobos, sexuality is an inevitable force of nature we all must contend with. Unfortunately, religion adds an entirely unnecessary layer of complications on top of an already complicated situation. But! I have so much faith in the strength and power of community. If you can't find it here, I really hope you'll put in the time and energy to find it where it will actually meet your needs. You're an incredible, powerful, and sexy human being who deserves all the best life has to offer and all the pleasure you can stand. Peace!

 

I love history! I mentioned this in a previous post, but are you familiar with the book Sex at Dawn by Chris Ryan & Cacilda Jetha? It's a look at pre-agricultural society's relationship to sex. It's fascinating and really addresses all the ways religion has vilified sexuality and spread misinformation about sexuality. It's been a pivotal part of reclaiming my own sense of sexuality back from porn and religion. Eye opening, healing, and very entertaining. Highly recommend.

 

Cool, I look forward to hearing what you think of it. We were egalitarian and polyamorous as a species once. And much happier for it. I don't know if I personally want a polyamorous lifestyle but I'm certainly open to taking tips from our utterly immodest ancestors.

 

Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability here, wow. So glad you could find something in what I wrote to be helpful.
You've been lied to and robbed, my friend. You have a right to your sexuality that your religious culture and corresponding addiction to pornography took from you. But that doesn't have to be the end of the story. Freedom from indoctrination and addiction is possible. Become furious at the lies you've been fed and become unwilling to continue living by them anymore. Then get curious. Start learning and researching. Connect with community that has struggled like you and have found their way through it. There are people here on this forum that could be that for you. There are resources like RecoveringFromReligion.org for people dedicated to overcoming brainwashing together. There are podcasts like Secular Sexuality that cover fantastic content about human sexuality and relationships independent of religion's shadow. The knowledge and support is out there.
A life of meaning, a life you are truly grateful to live, is available to you, but you do have to work for it. Undoing the mental conditioning of the past and breaking free of addiction is hard, but you do have it in you to heal. Keep coming back, keep reaching out, and keep exploring until you find what it is that inspires you to keep fighting through the hardship to live the life you know deep down you are truly worthy of. You've got this.

 

I would offer that no part of our culture- assuming you're here in the western part of the world, can't really speak to the east- has been left untouched by the anti-eroticism and anti-feminine message of religion. Women and men once shared complete social & sexual equality prior to agriculture and monotheism. But with the advent of the concept of ownership, made possible by agriculture, men began to create religions with gods that condoned women being treated like possessions. There's no one living in modern-day society left untouched by these insane ideas.

I hope you're finding your relationship with women to be easier as time goes on and your retention practice deepens. Women are pretty amazing once you've worked through the resentment and disappointment they inevitably inflict on the male ego. They are a force of nature unto themselves, after all.