Dear males :v

what you talk about is a stoic attitude, or, in other words, being centered. men are much more inclined to reason than women, who ride the waves of emotions, thus, for men it is much easier to remain calm. another reason is that women live much more in the present than men; so, if something comes up that would bother a man, his mind can wander off in the past or future, while a woman in his position cant do that because of her weaker reasoning powers.

yes, it is a by product of this lifestyle (sr) for men, to grow in this virtue, however, this lifestyle is not a requirement for this virtue. being centered, ultimately, goes back to the virtue of prudence; for it is prudent, to understand a situation in such a light, that no emotions would come up in the first place; and if they do, it is prudent, to not get swept away by them, but let logic and reason be in control. an example of the former is a situation, where something bad happens, e.g. your boss doesnt allow you to make breaks any more, but instead of getting mad at him and upset with your situation, you try to understand him, maybe pity him even, and dont let it ruin your day, for ultimately you find a lot more reasons to be happy than not.

to answer your question: i dont see a reason why women cant also reach such an attitude. however, because nature has made them the way they are, it will be a lot harder, if not impossible for them. i think humility is the key. if you want to believe, i urge you to look for female role models. there are many saints in that regard.

why are you asking, though? that makes me curious.

below is a quote that might be interesting to you:

 

I am JUST learning about something called "copulins" that are secreted by women as part of the arousal process. Perhaps there IS a component that is analogous to the male's semen.

I don't know enough about copulins to even comment, but worth a look.

 

Ok, first. Nice profile picture and second, my boi @matt2k12 is right. I try my best to be stoic, I guess. It helps my mental in a lot of times. Now, I've hurt this girl a couple of months back but I can't stop thinking of how sorry I am for hurting her and cutting ties with her (for religious purposes) but I'm doing my best not to stay in the past. I keep telling myself that "this is for the best","she deserves better" or something like that. This post of mine isn't really helpful but I do support what matt says. I hope you find the answer to your question and I do believe that women,too, can become "stoic' I guess or even more stoic than some men, obviously and I believe in your ability in achieving that. Good luck!

 

It might be relational. If you're attracted to stoic men, maybe you and a stoic man would be a good fit in a relationship, and you'd adopt the complementary feminine qualities, whatever those might be.

 

beautifully said.
yes, being stoic is a masculine trait, and hence due to polarity, is very attractive to feminine women. the more masculine a guy is, the more of the opposite, i.e. feminine, the women has to be to be attracted to him.

 

I do understand that you want to know what us males think, but that’s about transmutation, yes?

If you’re gonna ask this question to males, please be advised,
You’ll receive many foolish answers. Very few Words/No words of Wisdom.
I know by experience, Women, in general know how to handle people better.
Many Men are foolish (I am lol) when it comes to these kinda things.

This. It would be much wiser to talk to a close female: Mother, Grandma, Elder Sister?

 

You said what I was Thinking.

That's really a question for other women. I'm not even sure what it means for a woman to be centred. Is that desirable?

My first instinct was to say "Practice!", though, so I'll go with that. An ounce of experience is worth a pound of theory, they do say, and I do think they're right. Sometimes you need a ton of experience, too, so there's no time to waste.

 

It's all about practice. When you are with them, you just focus on them and give them all the attention you can give while also being mindful of what you say to them. How you treat them, what you say to them and how you react to whatever you say is key here.

Because they make sense. Our minds most of the time don't make that much sense,so we try to be logical and be reasonable about some bad thing that happened.

Alright, imagine If I was with a girl I like to be with. Be it a friend or an acquaintance , we're walking up to a store together and while all that is happening, I focus all my energy on my conversation with her on the way. If anyone tries to give me any shit, I don't bother replying to them but if they give her any shit, I'll tell them to back off. It's what I would do , if I was ever in that position. Another example is that I'm in a gathering and everyone is talking about their life problems and sad stories while me? I'm sitting in the corner only listening. If anyone asks, I'll just say, things happen but I'm still alive and well. No need to be dramatic about anything. Just giving them a straight answer puts my mind at ease.

That's kind of difficult. You can't simply know that before you approach them. You just ask them if you could have a conversation about something they like to talk about. You could also try trial and error method but I don't think that makes a good first impression. Best way to go about it is having a reason to talk with someone. Like, I'm talking to you right now. Why am I doing that? To try and help you (while also making sure I make sense) understand stoicism a bit better.

True.

Got it.

 

This is right. Otherwise it's a bit too much like attention seeking/using someone for your own self-improvement. Unless you're up-front about wanting to improve yourself, but even that's draining. Unless you buy them coffee or do something they'd like in order to compensate. People's energy is a precious resource - there has to be a balance, even if it feels too much like a business transaction. The more I live, the more I think business is life, and vice-versa.

 

Diet? Not sure. Maybe you should ask @-Cirilla She might know something about it.

Well, at first, you'll feel like the dumbest human on the planet but later, you'll find results way beyond your imagination.

 

Yeah - who likes being confronted with their own ignorance? But it's the only way to learn, and it's like spiritual powerlifting.

 

Y'all got me thinking that next time I try to get a relationship, I'll observe first before going in.

 

You either are centered always, or you are not centered. You can't cherry pick who you are centered around. However, obviously, it is easier to remain centered around certain individuals than others. But that is not in your power: you cant control how others act.
As for what to do, my advice to you, as a member of the opposite sex, is this: dont believe that you are entitled to anything. Just because you exist doesnt mean you deserve anything.

If you want to be better at listening, do this: instead of paying attention to what they say, try to understand why they say it.

Another thing I'd like to add in regard to your other post: if u feel dumb, just bite your tongue and don't say anything. This will change your life.

 

Some people are going to take things personally anyway and nothing you can do about it.
It sucks that you can't say what you think without risking to offend some weak and self-absorbed person but oh well.

 

Conversation cues. If a conversation sounds like It's ending, It would be the best time to get in there when they're done talking as to seem unpolite. There's one thing that one has to be mindful of and that's the the atmosphere of the room or the "vibe" of the one you want to approach. Having a reason only backs you up in your conversation and makes the one you're talking with feel important while you're talking with them.

Uh...good,I guess?

I think they mean is that some people are sensitive and take things to heart no matter what you do.

Well, you have to expect everything when you're about to talk to any random person or by choice but still. It's natural to be interested in what one self wants. Some people can act to be selfless but they only care about themselves in the end and that's totally fine as long as we don't get hurt by whatever they do. This is something I learnt from a book: The writer says "It's useless to talk about what you want.That's selfish, and childish. No one cares about what you want except yourself. You're eternally interested in yourself. Talking about others-what others want, That's important. That's key to leading them in a conversation and winning them." Or something around these lines.

 

Yes. Old delusions die hard.