Celebrating the first month of my new life, the happiest day in my last decades

Exactly one months ago (31 days, but who is counting I discovered about porn addiction and I realized I was an addict. It was May 12th.
My jaw dropped and I was in shock for an hour when I watched Gary Wilson's TED TALK Glasgow video, followed by Ran Gavrielli's TED TALK Jaffa one.
I watched them and I said to myself:"They are talking to YOU, this is what you are".
I took a test I found online to see if you are a porn addict (I cannot even remember how I found it in the Internet) and already half way through I knew the result will look bad. And it did, I got the almost highest score possible.
So many things I was feeling got a reply that day: my constant sense of being sad deep in my heart, what I always wanted to be alone, why I was rejecting my wife, why I was having problems to concentrate, etc.
I started immediately to delete all the porn saved in my computer (years of saving "my favorite" videos.
I threw to the trash the old porn DVD's.
I blocked from my phone some contacts that could be tempting during my reboot (mainly escort services).
I installed K-9 and became a member of NoFap three days later.
And I promised to myself to fight this addiction which was destroying me and my family.

The first two weeks I felt like s..t
I felt anxious and depressed, I started crying a couple of times with no reason, I started screaming like crazy in a business meeting, and my balls hurt a lot .
On my Day 9 I had my first business travel and I was scared to hell. Usually being alone in a hotel room was the perfect time to watch a lot of porn and hire some escort.
I cannot emphasize enough how much helped the support and advise of many Fap members (I even posted a forum asking if I should allow me to hire an escort in my trip, but still not watch porn, lol).

The next breakthrough was telling to my wife, and I also had great advise from this site.
I finally "came out" to her two weeks ago, and our lives changed forever.
We recover a relation that was lost and broken many years ago.
She understood and supported me with the most generous heart I can ever find.
I could speak out and start telling her so many things I could never done before.
We even watched Ron Gavrielli's video and could discuss it together, it was great to have "somebody else" explaining how miserable the life of an addict is.

I feel today so happy and excited like I have not felt in decades.
The sense of joy and accomplishment is incredible.
I know there is still a big battle to fight, and that every day I will be tempted to go back to my old habits.
But now I am confident I can defeat this shit.
I do not miss one single day to enter NoFap and read some posts, comment on others, and some times post my own ones.

I just want to thank everybody that helps this site to be such a great tool for recovery

Fercho

 

Thank you so much Zippy

 

Thank you very much Buzz, Blackcofee, pug and realjock
I am traveling now three weeks with my wife and my two sons, so the next weeks will be easier
Less time to be just by myself is good, so I do not get tempted
Keep fighting
Fercho

 

Thank you Danny and blogboy for your support and encouragement
I am happy to report that I am in my 36 th day and still clean

 

Thank you full metal , all the best for you too

 

No, I did not mention that. It would have been too hurtful for her to listen this, although she probably knows that it was not just porn and fantasy.

 

Thank you Brahma