Binging

Dude, don't despair. You're in the right place, surrounded by the right people. Take one day at a time, and learn from your mistakes. You can beat this.

PS: binging is correct.

 

I know what you're talking about. Same problem here. Had a streak of 27 days long ago and after that it was much worse and I wasn't able to catch up to the 27 days for months now. Sadly every time I found a system which wasn't protected I relapsed worse than before. Now I've set everything in place to prevent that happening with installing P-blockers on every system/devices I have. So it's really hard to get access to P for me now and takes some effort. Daily meditation helps as well, but no possible access to porn being alone is very crucial for me.
We can do this buddy!

 

Love your avatar, ifthisislove!

Don't forget to celebrate your achievements too - 18 days is great, how long was it since you weren't going a day?

But bingeing is bad (either spelling is fine ) and if you can do something to stop it that would be fantastic. I struggled with that for a long time - every relapse became a binge - and still do. I found a quick (ideally cold or ending with a cold blast) and going out of the house for a quick walk was a good thing. In fact, anything that broke an established routine that led into and supported the binge - just do something differently. I was watching one the Sacred Sexuality videos the other day and he put it nicely - maybe you are going to fail from time to time, but at least fail differently! It's helping me - what can you change?

 

You need to watch this video, it will explain a lot. When you relapsed you experienced a "chaser effect". It isn't hard to break you just need a day or two of no p and no pmo. It has some other stuff in it but describes the chaser effect. It talks about it from a sexual experience that was without porn but it is the same effect. I have had sex with my wife and then the next day failed to porn and didn't understand why. It is the same with pmo and then you can't stop, stress can cause problems breaking the cycle too.

 

ifthisislove - you're experience is shared, I let myself relapse and binged after 15 and 8 days respectively. When I binge I go right to the most extreme material. I just saw something so sick last night (legal, but sick - it's a sick society that makes this legal) that I realized that porn hurts everyone who comes into contact with it. There's no more ambiguity, I need to stop.

 

I have this exact same problem as well.I get into double digits of my streak and then I binge to porn for almost 1 week before I get back on the horse.I hate it and it's frustrating.

 

I know what you are feeling, mate. I've been there many times. I can't stay I've come up with a method not to binge after a relapse, but I know what it takes. It takes awareness and motivation. You need to be aware that you are not simply trying to break a habit. That habit isn't the cause of your bad life, it is just a symptom. You need to be aware that lifestyle, lack of emotion management, lack of prioritising values, making decisions based on here and now, these are the reasons why you have used your addiction. It isn't some intrinsic property, you have gone down that road as a result of other decisions you have made.

And motivation, there is tonnes of information out there. Just make sure your motivation comes from within you, and is internal. It should not arise from external life events. Your desire, your values, your identity, these are what matter.

I hope you have a successful recovery. Message me if you need help, I am more than happy to talk to you.

DS.

 

Strength to all you fapstronauts out there who are soldiering on!

 

ifthisislove - What you are saying is so true! I'm on day four, I've had a day full of running about town and meetings from morning til night, but it's nearly 10pm and I'm still wired. I think that a lot of it is that the rush of endorphins and oxytocin and what have you that come from an O is *designed* to make us tired. Evolution gave it as a gift so that real, loving partners would bond after sex. But with PMO, it's just draining energy and promoting lethargy with no purpose. There also might be something to what the Indian writings say about nutrients from semen being re-absorbed into the body. While that stuff interests me, I am careful not to go too far down that path right now because it can produce unrealistic standards (e.g. if I'm not an ascetic monk in the Himalayas I'm not doing NoFap right!) - As early Alcoholics Anonymous learned, "easy does it", and that idealized images of perfection can get in the way of sustainable, healthy recovery. That being said, I feel like I have a lot more energy than before.

 

You are doing absolutely great! Keep yourself as busy as you can especially for the first 2 weeks (and if possible the first month). This is the time when urges are the strongest and particularly if boredom is a trigger for you.

 

hang in there ifthisislove
i'm sorry to hear about that job loss ,
but don't be sad, commit yourself to keep your FIGHTER state on, the new "you" will find another job soon.

remember the goal of this fight , you want to be a better man to do better things that might change this messed up world ,I'm sure god will stand with you if you were truthful about it.

it might be a good idea to meet a friend or a relative to talk about it and let the negative feelings out , you can even insult your old boss as much as you like