Being abused making me question whether life is real

This sounds hard, but you should go see a therapist. your self-esteem is pretty low and a therapist can help you stand up for yourself.

 

move out - read the Bibel
Jesus loves you.

 

Go to any job interview - the fear will never end until and unless you face it. There is nothing to fear. Talk to more people, try to even give a public speech - first time it may be difficult and you might be really nervous, but do that again and again, unless and until you become confident in that, unless and until your fear had completely vanished, until and unless you can talk to anybody. If you even try to give 50 public speeches, you would be 100x more confidence than today. But if today you ran away from your fear, it will grow more big, your self esteem will become more low, and this devil will scare you forever, until one day you face it and than you will think - "I had wasted these years for a fear that was completely fake". Or maybe you never face it, but in your old age - it will be your biggest regret in life. Dont be that person, face it today itself. Call somebody right now, or give a wonderful speech to yourself in front of a mirror, it might not be good at start, but in few days - you will improve.