Could you forgive cheating?

I would take it to heart and I would be very sad but as long as I know the reason and if It's something I can't do anything about then that should help me move on better.

 

The reason is that her husband is a weak jealous man. Nothing more.

Look at these situations:
A woman tells her bf that he has to choose between her and his male friend. Why? For no reason. That's just her demand. Because she's jealous.
A man tells his gf that she must choose between her mother and him. Why? Because he just doesn't like her mother.

Now look at these situations:
A woman tells her bf that he has to choose between her and his alcoholic, unemployed friend. Why? Because she sees that friend of his as a bad influence on her bf, and is not willing to stay with a man that doesn't respect himself.
A man tells his gf that she has to choose between him and her mother. Why? Because she is abusive, she criticises and insults him, spreads rumours about him, sets up women to try and seduce her daughter's bf to ruin their relationship and to make her daughter live with her again, etc.


Do you see the difference?
And if you were to use your own discretion and put that lady's husband into one of the groups, which one would that be?

 

Neither. because that lady is unique. She has to have some sort of reason. I'm done talking about this as this has gone way off-topic and to be honest, I couldn't care less about anything anymore as it doesn't involve me and is a pain, so I'll just ignore future posts.

 

A difficult question I know.
The answer she did that is because she is weak. That is the reason.
You don't have to answer because I know that you understand. You just don't want to offend anyone with your real opinion. Which is fine.

 

Absolutely. And I’m grateful. I’m Married 47 years this August, 2020.
I had been married a couple months in 1973 and I had an affair with a previous sex partner. I confessed this to my wife thinking it was no big deal as I was an agnostic. She was so hurt and the look in her face was devastation. I knew i broke her heart. I then realized how important it was to her. ( I was very sexually active in the years prior to marriage.) anyway, I begged her forgiveness and she did. She nor I have ever brought it up again. We are still happily in love and still together. Children, grandchildren. That said.. I dong think she’d forgive a second time.

 

Would you have forgiven her?

 

In many aspects watching porn is more severe than cheating, first it's an alarming sign: it shows the premeditate desire to engage in adultry when conditions become favorable. Second; it may expose many callous perverted desires of the porn consumer, ones which will make the other partner repulsed and look down on the porn user. Third; whether we like it or not, porn has a huge human trafficking business, the involves pedophilia, violence, misogyny, sexual power/humiliation dynamics, borderline pedophilia...etc.

Cheating only involves one type of immorality: betrayal, Porn use is on another more serious level: it's psychopathic human commodification, that doesn't take into consideration women, some men, and children's dignity and humanity. It turns everyone into a form of object, void of any importance other than the pleasure they provide for the consumer; who sees himself as the top of the food chain. But it's only an illusion.
Porn use is often a sign of the partner's future cheating tendencies. And more often than not, those two are solidly linked. And in the end both behaviors should be rejected, no matter the excuses nor the circumstances. No one is milder than the other, and the betrayed partner shouldn't be accused of hypersensitivity and/or overreacting if their decision was to obliterate the relationship.

 

Yes. Actually, in a weird way, I always sort of wanted her to do the same thing than I would Be so happy to forgive her. It would be easy.

 

I think I could forgive cheating but it depends on the scenario

Being a porn and sex addict, I could understand a one off that you instantly regretted and came to me to confess with a plan of how to make sure it doesn't happen again. I personally have not done that, but I have experienced the temptation and I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't had that much will power when I did.

Something that is a regular affair and consciously taking steps to hide it, I don't think I could forgive it.