The lies I tell myself in recovery

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Love2LongBoard, Aug 27, 2020.

  1. Love2LongBoard

    Love2LongBoard Fapstronaut

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    This post was inspired by an earlier post, "The Lies I've Told Myself"

    I was thinking about the lies I tell myself when I am in solid recovery. The kind of lies that lead to relapse, but don't necessarily seem connected.

    1) I deserve a parade.
    While it is good to recognize progress, the idea of getting a parade for doing something I should have been doing all along (not masturbating or looking at pornography) is only self-serving.

    2) I deserve forgiveness.
    I do not deserve anything, especially from those I have farmed from my choices.

    3) I can't avoid pornography, its everywhere.
    While there is some truth to this the lie is that I cannot control what I am ingesting. Sometimes this means making sacrifices. How often do I sacrifice my sobriety by watching a movie I know is triggering, or listening to songs that remind me of acting out, or getting on social media and exposing myself to triggering material. I have a lot more control than I tell myself.

    4) I have changed, I am completely healed.
    There is a good article here about this: https://emotionalabuseintervention.com/2020/08/27/i-am-a-changed-man/

    5) I can change up my lifestyle and boundaries now that it has been awhile.
    The very things that helped me get to where I am I am willing to give up in the name us selfishness or convenience.

    6) I have done so much to change who I am.
    As a Christian I believe the only way a heart can change forever is through Christ. Yet I am willing to take the glory myself, when it's convenient. When it's not I like to blame Him.

    Do you have any lies you tell yourself when things seem to be going well?
     
    Ogikubo likes this.
  2. Good work, brother. I can relate to most of this. Addicts are all liars - there is always something or someone to blame. Addicts can make up some really amazing stories which shift blame to parents, teachers, religion, whatever!
    I think we need to realize there are no parades, no glory, no medals for getting PMO out of our lives.
    If this is troubling, I often think of people who came before me, such as my grandparents, who worked every damn day of their lives for other people and rarely were given a pat on the back. However, I could tell that they were highly respected by friends and neighbors. There are rewards, but we have to work hard for them. The lies we tell ourselves work to drive others away from us and make us despise ourselves.
     

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