My BF hopes ...

His hope is for me to enjoy us time better if I stop using — things — other than him. No, he isn’t controlling, that’s just me summing up the bottom line. Heard actually incredibly kind and patient.

anyway, I don’t want to do this anymore, much like everyone here. I don’t feel happy after most of the time & it’s just a habit, something to reach for cuz why not.

today is day 1 again & I’m trying to be concrete about my goals and why.

1. I want to do this to feel more confident about myself and my life (abstaining does help - it has in the past)

2. I want to love my bf as much as possible

3. I want to view ppl as more than objects of pleasure, even if they were willing to play that role

To do this:
- I will log in every day at morning and night
- I will put all the things away far from my bed

some encouragement plz? Thank you ❤️

 

Alright finishing up day 1 / 2. Had urges earlier today and just now as I’m going to bed. Figured I’d log on just before sleeping to note this (which honestly helps) and them I’ll turn in and stay in and not move lol or do anything.

jeez it’s already tough
After just a day or 2 I want to do it again

but hey, this ain’t easy shit to begin with
Not easy, but not impossible

and if I start now, I’ll be farther along than starting later

one more reason to do this

I don’t want to be a hypocrite, that cognitive dissonance ya know?

You can say I’m a youth mentor & I know a lot of ppl watch p*rn
And I wanna remain relatable; yes I’ve watched it in the past but it’s possible to overcome the addiction or pull

Right now, I’m not living up to it but I want to again

AHHHHHH going to sleep
Goodnight
Thx