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Why i quit NoFap and why Fapping and Sex is good for you.

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Balkanray, Aug 30, 2020.

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  1. Balkanray

    Balkanray Fapstronaut

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    Hello. First about i want to introduce myself. I am BalkanRay from Reddit and i've been part of NoFap and Semen Retention for over 4 years now. I have wrote at least 50+ posts and helped hundreds of men. I have experienced everything that NoFap and SR has to offer. I made it 500+ days of SR and few times 200+ days. I have hit 70+ days many times. Here's something you should know:

    There are numerous of post where NoFappers have gone into insanity no matter how long they have actually been practicing NoFap . Most have turned from social loving beings into lone wolfs. I actually never had a girlfriend during NoFap ( hit 500+ days too ) but always had friends and girlfriends when i was fapping or having sex regularly.

    Do you want to be confident, stronger, fearless, willing to self improve, have a lot of energy but maybe become less social, less happier, and simply enter the '' survival '' mode and become a warrior? Go NoFap.

    Do you want to actually feel relaxed, laid back, enjoy the world around you and have a good well being, feel good and balanced, feel connections and feelings everywhere you go, enjoy being around people and have easier time to make friends / girl friends, have stronger libido and feel more sexual? Fap or have sex here and there without overdoing it.

    I've been practicing NoFap for over 4 years now. I've also been practicing semen retention. I've hit 500+ days once and few times 200+ days. I relapsed few days ago after 40 something days. I haven't felt this balanced and good in a long time i even started calling people and many nostalgic feelings came back, like i started feeling '' Feelings '' again. I feel like i am part of the world and walking outside felt euphoric.

    When i was on SR i felt like everyone was intimidated by my presence and i found no joy in living life ( walking, working, meeting people etc. ). People will say '' ohh man it's a flatline / withdrawal it will get over ). First about i never had erectile dysfunction or any other big things like most fappers do.

    My whole family never had sexual problems, no depression or whatsoever, strong sex drive and healing too has always been part of our generations of family ( i'm from Serbia btw ). I still managed to hit 500+ days and turned into an ultimate warrior not gonna lie, but after all, i think NoFap is more for self improvement and turning into a warrior rather than being laid back guy who just wants to socialize. Even my parents and friends noticed a big difference in me, and everyone felt more uneasy around me. I even lost my old friends because i went to NoFap, and i actually never had problems with people before. Though my mom said i've become more serious and confident from a social, happy normal guy. During my journey i've tried almost everything, different supplements, foods, different exercises etc.. I still think that sex / fap is normal and mandatory to have in a relationship. Yes girls will feel attracted to you ( not all though ) and some may feel even more protected while you are on NoFap, but it you don't give her some love then it's fked up man. Nobody likes being around that guy who is full of energy, aggression and intimidation without even saying a word. You might feel protected and safe ( mostly girls ) but there will come a day where they might feel uneasy around you if you don't tone it down. Exercising won't do much believe me, i used to jog 15+ KM a day sometimes even 20+ KM a day. I did 200-300 push ups a day too and sit ups as well. I did go to gym as well 4-5 times a week but that shit won't change much. Though i did gain a lot of muscles during my journey and everything was easy to come by, i had stronger will power and my mind was also strong, became a leader. But still, think about carefully where you are stepping into. . Think about it this way: NoFap is like men in survival, where you absolutely need confidence, stronger willpower, energy, become more aggressive etc..

    More negative side effects:

    1. One side-effect directly related to the boost in testosterone that makes many nofappers feel more 'Alpha' is that you feel more stressed. Ejaculation is a well established stress reliever, and not being able to ejaculate for prolonged periods of time has made me feel generally more uptight. Also people around me say i am way more fun and relaxed to be around than before ( i asked them what was i like before and after relapses, they don't know i practice NoFap or SR ).

    2. During periods of complete abstinence, I noticed my hairline receding quicker than usual. This may just be a coincidence however testosterone is a key driver of male pattern baldness, therefore nofap may have contributed to this.Getting grumpy, aggressive and/or acting Impulsively. I didn't run into this problem much myself but I've heard other people say they feel more 'on edge' while doing nofap. I actually had any of these issues before i joined NoFap / SR. My hair went all good after a while and i thought NoFap is actually '' fixing '' my hair but in the longer run it became a chaos. I also never had anger, grumpy or any other issues before, NoFap / SR has been a wild fucking ride over these 4+ years, i even got sues, kicked out of house etc. Even punched my mom and dad and caused them bruises. I was a sweet loving guy who had everything before NoFap. It still hasn't changed much, i get days where i get so irritated nothing really helps. Don't fucking tell me otherwise because i've tested everything already, nothing can really calm my stress levels down unless i have sex or masturbate, which is alright.

    EDIT: I relapsed yesterday. Today was a fucking bliss. I actually felt good everywhere i went. People enjoyed my company and i felt absolute bliss and euphoria. I felt no anger or anything, not even irritation. Today i asked my mom '' what was my energy like last week compared to today ''. Do you know what she said? She said i was full of nervousness and irritation. So yeah. I feel so good man.. i feel like the old days where i actually had friends and i was always in a relationship. NoFap and SR never allowed me to do that, people actually avoided me during NoFap and SR. I did get tons of attraction but that's not the same man. This whole lifestyle is just so fucking dumb, it's been ruining my life more and more. I used to have tons of friends, girlfriends, i used to enjoy life and i had NO STRESS, literally never. Ever since i joined NoFap and SR my stress levels went through the roof. No exercise, supplements, diet etc.. could help. People will say it's flatline or withdrawal but listen, i never had problems before i joined NoFap, never even had ED or anything like most here do. I had everything before i joined NoFap / SR except maybe a little bit confidence and less anxiety in social situations but that's pretty much it. I couldn't care less about that anymore. I think having sex once or twice a week is actually more beneficial, even fapping. I don't bring porn here, i'm talking about normal fapping and having sex.


    Not many know this. There are some lucky men who have also practiced this for many years until they realized that NoFap and SR is not good in the longer run. There are actually many posts about this same topic i just wrote as well. I used to be such a good guy, everyone loved me, people enjoyed being around me, i had most beautiful girl at school ( no lie i was that cool and popular dude before ) TWICE, not once but twice. Then i went to NoFap and SR, which indeed made me a warrior yes but i lost people around me. Men did give me more respect, women looked at me more yes, but holy shit nobody actually enjoyed my presence 100% of the time. Not even me. This is not something you can actually control, no matter what you do. If you are in a war then yeah go NoFap / SR. If you wanna box and become a world champ then yeah practice this. But shit i live in Finland #1 happiest country in the world. I want friends, i want another girlfriend, i want that all back. And yeah i met my old friend today, we actually changed numbers. I went to my parents place and my cousins visited them too. We had a super funny dinner, we laughed, talked all day etc. I felt like i was connected to world around me, this autumn rain actually made me feel like i am 17 again. FUCK you NoFap and SR, it's been mostly struggling and hell. Not that quitting PMO is hard to me nowadays, it's easy, something i can control. But there are many DISBENEFITS that come with NoFap and SR, it's not just benefits like most of you idiots think. Not to mention how my hair has been falling out ever since i joined NoFap / SR. Body hair grows more and faster yes but head hair actually has been getting damaged and thinning. My hair feels way better these last 4-5 days ever since i started fapping again. Stress is gone and i feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Well due to my research and hearing this from others too: Too much testosterone actually makes you lose head hair, from MY experience this is true.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 30, 2020
  2. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    Read all your post, and what you say is interesting, but honestly to me this all sounds like stuff that has nothing to do with whether you were doing NoFap or not, it all seems like stuff that was in your head the whole time and you are using NoFap as a placebo to explain your changes in behaviour. I'm not trying to be dismissive when I say that, and in fact only say it because I did the same thing; I used to think that me feeling like shit all the time was directly to tied to me masturbating so often, only for it to turn out I was diabetic, and once I got that sorted out masturbating affected me way less. I still feel bad when I do it though which is why I dont like to do it. I also enjoy feeling more energetic and productive when I abstain which to me at least is a tangible feeling and honestly a lot of the things you describe sound like absolute positives to me, but thats just my opinion.

    I think where the issue with NoFap as an idea lies in in how over the top people are about it, to the extent it makes us seem like a weird cult at times. NoFap absolutely WILL help you in various ways, from feeling less drained, reducing brain fog, reducing the effect of porn addiction and the side effects of that. In my opinion the time saved not masturbating almost makes it worth it by itself. But then you have people acting like NoFap makes you suddenly really attractive to women, makes you uber confident all the time, can basically completely shift your personality. And I'm like, no dude, NoFap didn't do that, you did, its just easier when on NoFap.

    One thing I do have to ask though; if your life was so great before NoFap, why did you start it to begin with? NoFap generally works the best for people who have the most to gain from it. It kinda sounds like you didnt have much to gain at all, which maybe explains why you didnt.
     
  3. SeaChange

    SeaChange Fapstronaut

    I'm going to second this question. I'm honestly very happy that your life was so good before NoFap and it does beg the question of what drew you in? Was it the idea of super powers? I'm here because PMO addiction has definitely caused friction in every relationship I've been in and was a source of why my last relationship feel apart. Do I think it's the only reason? Not at all and I realize that NoFap alone isn't going to make me better, but it's a step I know I need to take.
     
  4. But isn't it good to have more energy?
    I mean I understand if it is causing insomnia but for example in terms of learning something.
    Some people want to learn a foreign language, or a programming language and having noticibly more energy for a whole year while applying themselves everyday would allow them to learn the language. Imagine if that is one of your top 3 life goals, and one year Nofap would help you achieve it, then the person ows it to himself to be on Nofap for a year, wouldn't you agree?
    Of course if you have achieved what you wanted to achieve in one of your lengthy streaks, then it's a different topic.
     
    blacklabel92 likes this.
  5. Balkanray

    Balkanray Fapstronaut

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    I wrote millions of things there, not just energy. You can hav energy whether you PMO or practice NoFap. Hey i was a heavy fapper ( without porn ) from age 10 / 11 and it lasted many years. I did learn English language at that time too.

    Also it doesn't work that way man. You won't get just energy from NoFap. It's kind of funny how NoFappers believe that NoFap is pure 100% magic superpower thing but not many actually has experienced it just like i have.
     
  6. Balkanray

    Balkanray Fapstronaut

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    I kind of expected an answer like this. First about there is nothing wrong with my head or life, that's so closed minded thing to say. There are many posts and i say MANY posts where people were alright and normal before they went to NoFap / SR. It's not a secret that NoFap / SR increases testosterone. I have actually been to doctors and i'm pretty alright, maybe a bit apathetic to human feelings but yeah, i never had this before. It's not a secret that there are many posts about this too where people have become more apathetic and aloof as well due to NoFap.That's the only negative thing they studied on me ( i volunteered btw ). Also in my country healthcare is free, so are blood tests, i 'm pretty ok.

    Read my post again, there is a part where people even my own mom has addressed that i used to be calmer, more happier etc. before NoFap ( she is the only one who knows i practice this ). Also people around me has also told me i am more nervous, aggressive etc nowadays. Though people around me have said i have calmed so much over the last week of relapsing here and there.

    No i don't even feel brain fog. I feel pretty good and connected to everything around me. When i'm on NoFap i feel the most intense person in the room, most confident etc. You can actually feel this reduced once you're out of NoFap.


    And yeah it doesn't really matter if i joined NoFap or not does it? The reason i joined is because i found some of it benefits on the web and i decided to try it out. Here i am, experiencing NoFap / SR for over 4 years now.

    Also i never talked about porn here. I was simply talking about fapping without porn and having sex.

    EDIT: You keep blaming this all on myself and saying '' it's you not NoFap ''. I am not against NoFap and i know the benefits it gives, many people can. It's true, NoFap does give you many superpowers yes. But you can't say it's all in their '' head '' can you?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 1, 2020
  7. Nofap is a principle; to control your sexual desire and use it at its proper time and proper place and not become a slave to your desire and fap at every urge you get. Also to recover from the massive negative consequences caused by Porn/Masturbation and Edging of poor mental and physical health as well as fantasies fetishes that keep growing to an unnatural and inhuman way.

    If you think such reasons are not related to you then using Nofap is good in general life terms of self management and control. It's not about not fapping ever, nope that's not the purpose. but the purpose is to fulfill your sexual desire moderately in a healthy relationship. Also it is not about Superpowers. These are not called superpowers but indeed it is the human's natural energy that he or she themselves wasted it on fapping.


    You can get relationships and have sex in both terms. But you choose how and where and when.

    Sorry but this is nonsense.
     
  8. Well, you do you buddy. I'll do what I think is right for me. I think a guy who has been on nofap for 4 years ought to understand that some things are best left to experience and this approach is one of them. Pro-MO posts will be what a lot of addicts will use as an excuse to relapse so I think you're being a bit narrow minded yourself by posting something like this in Nofap. If what you say really is the right approach, and I actually do agree to a significant extent, I think such statements, by definition, don't belong on these forums.
    Have a good life though.
     
    dastardlydan6, IRLMAN, Candun and 3 others like this.
  9. Balkanray

    Balkanray Fapstronaut

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    What are you talking about. I actually understood 0 of what you wrote. I haven't got a wet dream in like a year to be honest.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 1, 2020
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  10. Balkanray

    Balkanray Fapstronaut

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    Well you do you. After all i wrote this based on 4+ years of experience + listing other people experiences as well. It's a bit narrow minded to deny everything i wrote which comes across as anti intellectual to actually not hear and understand what other guy has to say. I mean if i wrote something good '' woah NoFap made me so alpha '' many of you would actually agree with it. But when i actually talk about years of experience then people actually can't seem to understand it or accept it.
     
  11. Bruh you don't get to call me narrow minded and then make an assumption like this and go with it. I think 80% of those posts are bullshit of the highest order.

    I
    I'Ve been here 3 years you know. I have achieved 100 days once, 90+ days a few times and 50+ days more than I care to count, and this is after I took a 5 month hiatus this year. This isn't a competition about how long we're on nofap, it's a matter of reaching our life goals.

    I was an extremely social person even which i MO'd every day, I pulled a lot of chicks and I always aced my studies through it all. My only reasons for doing nofap are to get more energy, to return my mindset back to how it was when I wasn't always thinking about MO and to free myself from this addiction just for the sake of improving my impulse control, and once I achieve all 3, I'll be done with this place.

    Everyone's goals and experiences are different. You're making an extremely generic post here and I daresay it's in bad taste to put it here. I'm not saying you're lying or speaking out your ass; I'm just saying these forums aren't the right place for this. Why don't you make a reddit post on this and see what responses you get?
     
    dastardlydan6 likes this.
  12. Balkanray

    Balkanray Fapstronaut

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    Is there anyone who actually agrees with me here? There are so many posts like this and yet i decided to wrote it here as well for proof. It's not about goals man, NoFap will change you as a person as well in case you didn't know, and not always to the best side.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 1, 2020
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  13. Bruh why do you even care if they agree with you? If you are gonna make a post like this, you should at least assume that you're gonna get a ridiculous amount of backlash. You don't get to walk into a KKK meeting and say "y'all are deluded", and yes I literally just compared nofap to the bloody KKK because A LOT of people here are EXTREMELY deluded and almost cult-like in their beliefs.

    For what it's worth anyway, I already told you that I agree with you to a large part.

    I know but if it's a matter of picking the lesser of two evils, Nofap is still better than crippling addiction.

    You're not wrong. You're just barking up the wrong tree.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 1, 2020
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  14. Dr.LoveLength

    Dr.LoveLength Fapstronaut

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    NoFap doesnt mean giving up your sex life, that was never the point of nofap in the first place. Why anyone would wanna practise semen rention is beyond me. It has zero benefits.

    Quitting porn however really did change my life for the better. My social anxiety and depression was gone by 3 months in.

    Starting nofap doesnt mean you have to live like a monk. Just get rid of the brain rot that is PMO
     
  15. I do. Good post. However

    Unfortunately not everyone is able to practice moderation when it comes to fapping. And

    Some people would prefer the first option, including me.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 1, 2020
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  16. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    I would appreciate if you would actually go back and reread what I wrote again to see that I am not attacking you at all and am not saying there is anything wrong with your head or your life, I am in fact saying the opposite, that you experienced these changes perhaps independently of NoFap and NoFap was just a placebo for you, that these positive/negative shifts in behaviour only happened because you perceived NoFap to be doing something more than it actually was.

    I dont appreciate the hostility, I'm being civil, you can manage it too. Just because you think something is true doesnt mean it is true. Correlation does not equal causation. You may think that these things you describe are the result of being on NoFap/not being on it, that doesnt make it fact. I will repeat; I only say this not the be dismissive, but because I experienced the same thing.

    Well, like I said before, I dont see how feeling like that is bad, but you do you. This is just subjective.

    I mean it kinda does matter, because the severity of ones issues with porn and masturbation can affect their recovery when going on NoFap. You describe your life as being good before you started, as such, it stands to reason that NoFap probably didnt improve it that much. This is just common sense, kinda like how someone who isnt a problem drinker probably wont get as much out of Alcoholics Anonymous as someone who is. I also feel like I need to say that NoFap as a site doesnt advocate for quitting masturbation entirely, it just advocates for abstaining from it for a period of time. And it also doesnt say you shouldnt have sex, the whole goal for a lot of users is to regain "normal" sexual function, part of which is having sex.

    I'm getting the impression this is another language barrier moment, because you seem to be seeing hostility in my words where there isnt any.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 1, 2020
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  17. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    Couldn't have put it better myself. What is it with people online who post stuff like this and then expect to receive no backlash? Has anyone here apart from OP been openly hostile? Upon doing a quick scan of the posts I dont think so?
     
    dastardlydan6 and Sosuke Aizen like this.
  18. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    I'm glad someone has said this. Too many people seem to think NoFap is literally "give up any sexual pleasure forever and you will transform into some inter-dimensional superbeing who can walk through walls and fly and project pheromones that attract women from 2 miles away."

    I'm being hyperbolic of course but the fanaticism over something that is perhaps more subdued but DOES work makes people take NoFap less seriously than it should be.
     
  19. Kramum

    Kramum Fapstronaut

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    Most people doing this seem to be people feeling bad about the fact they want to give their sexual urges some release. So no matter what, they will always take it very personally when someone will even hint at masturbation not being a bad thing to do or basically says something about sex being a normal thing.
    This forum is a biased population. People coming on the forum usually have a lot of problems with very basic stuff such as talking to people or they have things they want to achieve and they feel their PMO habits stop them in some ways. So they come here and look for ways to stop doing anything remotely sexual.
    Some of them have very strong beliefs about sex, those being usually negative, and they would like to cut themselves off from it permanently. The moment someone mentions that you know I think sex is normal they get pissed. Not just angry but pissed. And the moment someone mentions that you know masturbation is probably okay too they get pissed as well.
    It has nothing to do with people saying it, it has more to do with them who get angry.

    Most people in society do PMO and are actually pretty normal when you think about it. Some of them find it to be actually a waste of time/mentally draining/making them lazy etc. These are the ones most likely to register on NoFap too.
    It is like religion you see. The moment you voice your opinion is the moment you are getting a strong backlash and there is nothing you can do about it.
     
  20. palindromo

    palindromo Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for advising us , i think this is like NoFap should not be used. 4 years!
    Nofap it's all about : to reboot and then come back in real relationships and moderate sexuality.
    You should have quitted SR a long time ago after your reboot,
    sorry for your experience.
     
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