The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 11
It's eleven, it's heaven for Jamie Vardy! I am sorry guys, but i am gonna write it every time that i reach 11 days
Recently, I watched a video about procrastination and i think it intersects with our process. Simply, we procrastinate because if the task we are going to do is hard, or something new, our brain tends to do things that are easy, or in other words, something that we are fimiliar with, so that it will not feel bored or feared. For example, you have an exam in a week and you havent studied at all. You keep saying yourself that "I will study after watching some videos from youtube" or something. That is procrastination. Do the right thing, man! It will not eat you
I have failed so many times, and the reason of the most of my failures were that I was bored. I procrastinated most of the activities I wanted to do and my brain replaced them with one of the best fake enjoyable activity, masturbation. So, no procrastination, no pmo!!!

 

Day 87!

Yesterday was a tough one. I’ve been feeling increasing irritability and anger over the last few months and it seemed to hit a peak over the last few days.

Especially since I’ve been doing some manual release on muscles related to my TMJ issues.

It’s like I’ve opened up all these repressed anger issues. It was really hard at first, but the more I allowed the feelings and started to write pages and pages of stream of consciousness about it the anger, the more I seemed to feel alive and energized.

It’s crazy! It’s like I’ve used PMO to avoid my anger for so long and it’s manifested as TMJ issues.

Slowly but surely, I’m working through all this stuff and it’s powerful, can feel overwhelming, but eventually hopeful on the other side.

I know I’ve got a lot more to work through on this journey, but I’m in this for the long haul!

Reminds me of saying from the Presence Process. It’s not about feeling better. It’s about getting better at feeling.

That’s exactly how quitting PMO feels.

Like we can use PMO to avoid our feelings in the moment, to try to “feel better”.

Or we can embrace what we’re feeling in the moment, dig into it, learn what it is teaching us so we can grow and evolve, “get better at feeling”.

This is such a powerful journey!

Wishing everyone the absolute best on your journey!

 

13 days done Have a great day everyone

 

Day 29. In a little more than a hour, I will be an elf, so I am very excited. 30 day without PMO. In addition I am a little over a month clean from porn and I will see m therapist on the 15th and I cannot wait to tall him that I am six an a half weeks clean from porn. (We don’t discuss my abstinence from masturbation as he disapproves, and it is better for me to not debate him on it. My psychiatrist understands why I do though she asked me to explain.)

I am starting to think a few weeks down the road if it continues to go well with this women I met online, I might ask her to be my girlfriend some day. With that said, I am terrified of what she will think if it gets that far and I tell her about my addiction. I like this one, and I am afraid she will up and decide she is through with me.

Anyway, life is going well in all areas, and I start class tomorrow, so I am excited.
Best,
Mathman1994

 

Day 21

 

End of Day 19! I have been missing days comming here but I have also been incredibly busy. I setup a reasonable schedule and hopefully this will help my consistency.

 

Starting Again, Check-In For Day 0!!
Game Is On!!!!!

Best Streak - 15 Days

 

Even I have TMJ (if you are referring to what I can infer as TMJ headache)
It is hell but I didn't think it was related to pmo

 

Well you don't have to tell her that you are addict if you have left your addiction.. You are already 30 days clean.. Maybe you will be 90 day hopefully and then 180 day.. By that time you would have rewired your brain.. You can propose to her then and you don't even have to tell her that you are ex - addict which you will be at that time..
Every human being has a past but once you burn the bridge they aren't there anymore if you get what I mean..

 

Day 5: Feeling some agression because of some setback with my sport. But later that evening i wrote in my diary for the first time. I think it helps to write when i have some agression inside me.

 

Day 3

 

Thanks for your response and advices!
I made the distinction between being alone and feeling lonely for the reason you bring up.
I'll try to see what makes me feel lonely. I think it has something to do with being scared for the challenges ahead and not able to cope with it on my own. Instead of picking up this challenge, i'll retreat in my safe-zone.
The next time this emotion pops up, I'll research my own psyche. For now I'll try to get away from electronic devices.

 

Day 128.

 

Well that is true. I suppose it is a little less like an recovering alcoholic not saying that they have not had a drink in years and that is why they don’t drink, when asked. An addict always has the conditions of being an addict, but at least with porn, no one asks why you don’t look at it as it is socially taboo. I think if we got to the point of me proposing, I would at the very least be honest that a long time ago, I struggled with porn addiction, but that I have beaten it. Once I am a couple years clean, I would like to put my name out there as an inspirational figure for all of those who are enslaved by PMO. I really like what Alex Rhodes and Universal Man do, by announcing that they struggled with this taboo addiction and that they beat it and so can you (the audience). Honestly, I am getting clean in part because if I end up in a relationship with a woman, I don’t want to have a side “chick” that is PMO. It would be like being unfaithful, and that is not right.

Best,
Mathman1994

 

Day 30, I am an Elf now, @RiseToGreatness

I almost fell of the horse last night soon after I got off of NoFap. I started to look for bikini photos, and I started to search for things that could yield nude photos online without triggering my accountability app. However, as the first photos popped up (the majority of which were non-nude), I snapped out of it, and I got off my computer, turned on the light, and sat there shaking and sweating. While I don’t think I would have masturbated, I got close to taking a deep dive into images, which at the very least would have been a reset. Thank God I have separated myself enough from such things that resisting was easier than in the past. But it was close, and I know that I will have to keep a weary eye out as I leave Rivendale, because PMO forces are everywhere, and while I had been managing my triggers really well, they all came on at once last night sitting in the dark. I made the conscientious decision to search, and I made the conscientious decision pull myself away from the ledge and close out, though I am wishing I had not even tried to search in the first place. I am not even sure what triggered me, but I do know what kept me from relapsing or even resetting (which I define as spending more that a few seconds to half a minute looking at photos, or touching my self for more than half a minute). I would be 30 days clean within a few minutes of engaging; I live in a Christian House and felt guilty about that; I had just given someone advice on here on how best to handle their urges, and I was not going to make myself a hypocrite (I hate hypocrites); and I have a potential romance in my life and I did not want to feel like turning PMO into “the other woman”. Thus I fought back, steadied my horse, and called my dad. The urges have passed, but I am still a little shaken from my close call last night. I heard that old voice that said, “just one look, you can stop,” and I took a look, and I did stop, but I know that that voice is a deceiver, and if this happens again, I probably won’t stop. Thus, my strength prevailed, but I am being extra cautious today.

Best,
Mathman1994

 

Day 9

 

Day 3

 

Day 3

 

Hey comrades,

Feeling good today. Working and fasting (at least so far today), which seems to be helpful. I keep having semi-porn related thoughts/dreams as I'm coming out of sleep, though.

 

Day 18: Haven’t been around in quite some time. Been focused on improving myself in other ways along with this reboot. There was a close call last weekend, but I made it through before any major damage was done. Happy to be a Hobbit again!