Paid a hawker

Tell her. A man who can't face the music is no man at all.
Tell you girlfriend you had sex with a hooker.

"Speak the truth and speak it ever, cost it what it will. He who hides the wrong he did, does the wrong thing still."

 

Yea man just tell her. She might be more forgiving than you realize. Or she'll be hurt by it. Either way, pay the price for your actions.

 

dude, it sounds like this porn addiction is becoming like a sex addiction. Let's hope that your first experience with a prostitute is your last experience, but unfortunately for addicts it's rarely the case.

You can choose to tell your girlfriend but she's not going to take it well and there is a good chance she'll leave you. If you choose to not tell her and keep it a secret, you run the risk of hurting her more and you yourself will suffer. Keeping this secret will make you feel regret and shame, as well as anxiety as you will constantly worry whether she will find out what you did or not. All these emotions will slowly eat you up inside and you'll be unhappy. Being unhappy is what makes your porn addiction grow stronger. If you keep things a secret and then she finds out, she will be very angry at you and she'll for sure leave you because you lied about your PMO addiction and you cheated on her with a hooker.

You can continue to try to do no PMO, but in my opinion it's not going to make your problems magically go away. You may need to speak with a therapist or join a support group to treat your addiction. It's also worth considering to leave your relationship and work on yourself. Being in a unhealthy and unhappy relationship is worse than being single.

Feeling bad about what you did does not change what you did. The best thing to do is to learn from this experience and do better the next time.

 

¹Telling her that you cheated and fessing up to your failure in life is a "no go zone", but cheating itself isn't? Yep. That checks out.

If you have even the slightest hint of decency in you, you'll tell her about the fact that you cheated on her. There's no if's and but's about it. She deserves to know what she got herself into and she deserves the right to be able to act on it, whether it be by forgiving you or dumping you. People have divorced over less.

Just my 2c on the matter. Take it or leave it.

 

Hawker? Lol

Anyway dude... Paying hookers for sex is only gonna give you disease and bankruptcy and suffering in the long run.

Don't do it.

 

¹I cannot believe that I share this planet with people who can actually say sh!t like this.

 

What a weakling. Can't even be honest with the one you love.

 

That most definitely is cheating. You are a cheater. Lie to yourself, but make no mistake you cheated. But if you really don’t think it was cheating then what’s the problem with telling your girlfriend?

 

I'm a bit confused here. You start the thread by saying how guilty you feel and you let down your gf but you don't think it was cheating? Do you feel any remorse for your actions? What is the purpose of this thread?

 

dude, every man has a right to his own life. your gf is not the judge of morals nor of your conscience. leave that up to god. if you feel bad about it, thats good, but in no way should you feel morally obliged to CONFESS anything to your gf. if you feel bad about it, go confess it to a priest.
you dont have to tell your gf the truth but you also dont have to lie about it. just dont tell a word. that bad feeling of yours will go away with time. you didnt betray your gf as much as you did betray yourself: because you are pure on the inside and this act was in violation with that. now that you have a dirtied soul you cry about it, but the only remedy for that is confession with a priest, someone who has the moral obligation AND authority to forgive you your sins. then again, if you are not catholic, you cant be saved..
all the best buddy

 

I completely understand the comments calling for you to tell your girlfriend - for the simple reason that the more secrets you have, the more barriers there will be between you and her. If your behavior continues, this could result in so many deceptions that your relationship is no longer authentic (and may well end because of this, whether you tell her or not.)

At the same time, it seems obvious to me that you're not a bad person. It's clear that you are in emotional pain and that you regret your actions due to the value and respect you have for your girlfriend (after all, this is why you're here). For this reason, it sounds like it may be best for you to keep this problem/mistake to yourself, but use it as motivation to work on yourself. Protect her from this and the heartache that it may cause. You are a man; we all have a dark side especially until we are fully integrated. Resolve the problem: work on yourself to become a better person.

But: Make a promise to yourself: if you do it again, forfeit the relationship: i.e. tell her and let her end it.

 

I know how you must be feeling. I thought the same way and did the same things to my fiance. Until she found out and everything came crashing down. For a month she asked " is that it ? " And for that month I kept saying. Yes that's it. Until I just couldn't keep lying anymore. I told her every little thing that I've done. .... Everything.
We tried to make it work afterwords. But after 15 months of recovery. We are in the middle of a seperation. Although it is tough, and I've hurt her so incredibly bad. Words cannot describe how relieved and free I feel that I don't have to lie and she along with my support group know everything about me. Things I thought I would never ever tell anyone.

I look back at the thoughts I had in my addiction and I thought to myself " if I tell her she's definitely going to leave " but I realize now that regardless of if I tell her , or I were to somehow keep it secret. The relationship was eventually going to end one way or another.

 

I'm no better than you but what I will never be is a liar and it's because I think that you're better than that, that I tell you to tell her that you're not perfect. You're not superman. You dont need tell her all the salacious details but if you know your relationship is rising on the promise, diligence and honor of monogamy then you need to tell her you stepped outside those boundaries. Is your pride really worth it? Really? You're just like my dad. Cheating on my mom only for her to find out years later. Double life. Used going to church to cover it up because HIS PRIDE and HIS IMAGE was too important for him to live a life of truth. My dad is struggling with pmo just like the rest of us, but the difference is that he's a liar. He's a fucking liar.
Your struggling with pmo is nothing in comparison to the fact that you're a liar and when it comes down to it, you can't be trusted because you place yourself, your own image, your own fears, above everyone else— above the truth.
You're not perfect. But at least be a man. At least tell the truth.
If she really loves you- she'll forgive you. If she REALLY LOVES YOU, and you tell her everything and you stand in THE truth, and she's willing to stick it out, you know you've got a woman that not just loves you- but will sacrifice herself and her own hurt for YOU. Not for herself but FOR YOU. But the thing is- are you willing to sacrifice your own self image for her? Or will you be a coward and a selfish liar? I say these things because I want you to succeed. Not to bash you.

Face the music. Dont be like my dad. A fucking loser who lost his marriage, his family, his honor, for what? Cause he couldn't tell his wife he was struggling? There is nothing like the support of a woman who will lift her man up when she sees him stumble. But you think you can get it all together. You say you're not perfect, but your actions speak otherwise. Someone who's not perfect isnt ashamed to let other people see their flaws and their mistakes. Theyre not afraid to own up to their shortcomings.
Go face the goddamn music man.
FOR GODS SAKE, GO TELL HER.

 

Honesty is very important in a relationship but the people in this thread that are telling you to confess everthing to your partner are not considering her at all. They know nothing about her and they haven't considered the fact that she might not be able to emotionaly handle this truth about what you did.