8 months and still FLATLINE - When will it end?

Hello everybody.

I'm 24 years old and have been doing PMO for 10 years from age 13-23. On 1 January 2020 I told myself I would never do PMO again and am now on my longest streak of 252 days (month 9) and still in the flatline. PS: My mother tongue is German and I have translated this text.

Positive things:

My view of the world has changed. I like people and I can laugh again when I watch comedy shows or when people do something funny in real life. I have fewer anxiety and I am less irritable. My face looks a little better because I no longer look like a zombie. My whole body has become wider because I have gained muscle mass without sport. My head is a bit clearer but is not yet perfect. I have a little more energy and motivation to do things. I can fall asleep again at the same time. No more sleeping problems. However, I get up once a night to urinate. I have developed more self-love and self-esteem. I dream almost every day.

I now see women as people and PMO no longer appeals to me. I want to meet a woman and have a normal sex life. I find women very beautiful in real life, but I can't speak to any because of the negative symptoms.

Unfortunately I still have these negative symptoms:

- Anxiety (Has improved significantly, but I am still afraid to walk and talk in a group full of people. I still think what the others might think of me. I am afraid of failing in public or doing something embarrassing.

- Irritability (This has also improved, but I am still irritable if, for example, someone says something about me or someone asks me to do something I don't want to do. I am still stressed out faster than other people. This is how I feel. I can talk to people but after a short time I am already irritated by them

- Brain Fog (This has improved a lot but is still not perfect. Memories have come back, which I had suppressed for years through PMO. I can remember which children I played with as a child and who my teachers were at school and how I was as a person, etc. I know myself better now. I know who I was before PMO. However, I am socially not so gifted because of the brain fog and because of the brain fog I avoid contact with people again. I can't concentrate as well when I listen to people and I am never really focused. I never really live in the moment, but unfortunately after 250 days I am still stuck in my head. When I am on the road or at home, I am thinking about what happened a few days ago or what happened a few weeks ago, etc. I still can't talk to people in a very relaxed way, without thinking and fluently because of the brain fog. That is what upsets me the most.

- Stomach problems (This has also improved, but I still suffer from some frequent urination, alternate stools like sometimes almost like constipation and sometimes normal stools. I also have bloating.

I still have 1-2 wet dreams a week and after these dreams my negative symptoms are worse. It takes about 3 days until it is stabilised again.

I still have no morning wood, still have anxiety and brain fog. I am apparently still on the flatline. Things have improved a bit but I still don't have all the SuperPowers.

Sometimes I have the feeling that my flatline is not over until January 2022. How do you see that? Can you please motivate me? Can someone write here who was also severely addicted or someone who also had such a long flatline?

 

NO, I hate PMO and I am on hard mode. I will never do PMO again. It's not imaginable.

Have you had such long streaks of months before?

Do you have wet dreams?

 

Unfortunately I am still suffering from PAWS after 9 months.

 

I work on myself every day. I go to work, do sports, read a lot and I am also social, but I still have PAWS after 9 months of withdrawal. I will never relapse.

 

I do not know why I have so many wet dreams. I don't eat anything before I go to sleep and I don't fantasise.

 

Last year on a streak I had all the superpowers for 2 weeks. I saw the world in 3D, I could talk to every person without brain fog and anxiety. Everything was fluid. I was very self-confident and knew who I was. It felt like I was a child again. I was extremely light and everything gave me joy.

After that I lost those superpowers and PAWS started.

So it is definitely PAWS from PMO.