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I Became Virgin again ?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Cassiel Addams, Aug 13, 2020.

  1. hello to all the friends in here,

    i want to share my experience with my sexual fasting, lets say..
    it is been around 4 month that i was not feeling any uncontrollable sense of lust/or any bodily desire around sexuality,
    its sound a bit weird but i think its comes from these factors,
    1.im working as a duty in a police office, so i don`t have any free time, just shifts changing and eat something, working out a little and sleep
    2.i lost my sense of `egoistic need` for sexual experience, maybe this cames from my books ive been reading since 1 year ago, and sexual experience became kind of spiritual experience and almost a ritual to me ,
    3.I start to develop kind feeling that im in love with myself, i love my body and the way i became,(i burn too many fats :) )
    4.this one its very important.today i came home after almost 23 days in police office and i play some random porn (JAV-HD ones!) on my laptop,
    i feel like the first time i was watching porn,
    i felt scared,a bit
    gross,and how dirty look and noisy human being can sound :D lol

    i felt i became virgin again! is this real ? anyone with the same experience in here ?

    i cant watch them,:D i feel ashamed and loud laugh and funny right now...
     
    matt2k12 and NF SINCE BIRTH like this.
  2. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Why did you play porn? How come your counter says 165 Days? What is your goal?
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  3. So you think that a virgin is about feeling gross, dirty and disgusted at porn?
     
  4. for no reason,
    i dont fap to it,
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  5. kinda,

    because i felt same feelings as when i saw porn for the first time in my life.,
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  6. Freedom_from_PMO

    Freedom_from_PMO Fapstronaut

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    It's impossible to become virgin, that's the entire point of virginity.
     
  7. I guess I am an aspiring virgin :p Seriously though, thanks for sharing! I almost forgot what it is like to have a good streak.

    I recently heard a Buddhist talk about porn and sexuality. He said something interesting: That the human body is neither pretty or ugly. It is as it is. That is from a very deep meditative point of view. Most people are not at that stage yet.

    Also watching porn at all is probably not a good idea for a former addict. You can easily re-activate old patterns.

    Other than that, spirituality and nofap really seems to have a strong connection. I have meditated a lot fot the last 10 years. Whenever I manage a really good Nofap streak I go very deep in meditation. To the stage where I can go around and just be in a state of bliss most of the day.
     
    Cassiel Addams likes this.
  8. i try them for less than 1 min, today again, but no addiction , its just sound gross for me, i cant take them anymore :D
    watching someone else doing something to other someone ??
    thats not hot at all :D even POV`s not working anymore,
    i think i became a monk! lol
    all i want is my girlfriend..
    since im working in another city and i dont see her that much + i dont see her after
    that fu*ing Wu-han Virus thing, its just ruin our dating process !!!!

    i dont think i re-active any old patterns,
    my interests in sexuality has changed very much over past few months
    i want do something in real life , not cyper or porn version of it,
     
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2020
  9. So... Why you keep trying it again and again? Are you lying to yourself that you do not need it? Or are you not sure that you don't need it? Or are you just playing with fire because you have nothing better to do?
     
  10. none, im not trying, i have better things to do , and im doing them,
     
  11. palindromo

    palindromo Fapstronaut

    2,060
    13,871
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    ok man but trust me , don't look at porn if you have had an addiction.
    There're necessary many months to get rid of these addiction and your curiosity to look porn videos it's just the prove you can easly go back to the beginning.
    Trust me , i thought i was rebooted after many months without porn , but then this August things got worse and the addiction returned.
    Jav porn it's the worst type , with elaborate plots , hours of videos ideal for edging, rape and forcing woman 70% witch just scream '' dame dame stop this'' , all fetish you want . I was really addicted to javs...

    Don't let your mind trick you, you can't handle porn , you can't limit the contents or the time. Sexuality is excess it is not a rational process.
    To look at porn it's not a reward to yourself.
    There're people that just don't need porn , never had this addiction. We crave to see it because our it's an addiction , it's not just curiosity.
     
    Cassiel Addams likes this.
  12. its not addiction , im not needy for porn, i just browse them for fun,
    its 6th month that im addiction free to any porn, really
    also i mention in another post that im working 12/12 at a police office
    also i do exercises and reading books instead of faping
    so i dont have any access to any media source, even normal TV,!
    including my phone etc..
    and when i come home i read books on my laptop,the whole resting time...

    the words i mention that i became virgin i mean :
    the whole human sexuality makes me feel weird,
    i dont have any word to describe this feeling,
    its animal, its so primitive to do as a human lets say,
    as some female philosopher describes sexual experience :
    Noisy, and Dirty



    thanks for your words by the way,
     
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2020

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