I love to jerk off, and porn makes it better

I'm here to try the 90 day reboot. I'm 20 now, and

for a long time, I've felt depressed. I guess that's what to call it.

Let me also say that I'm big into the whole "as you think, so you shall be", self development, positive thinking, anything is possible attitude and thought process.

The idea of "reprogramming your brain" is far from new to me.

I'm a fan of napoleon hill's "Think and grow rich" book, so even the concept of sex transmutation isn't new to me.

I found jerking off on accident when I was so young I can't even remember the age. I almost wanna say it had to be under 10. I couldn't even come, I found out all about that years later, lol!

I've literally been jerking off since my dick was so small I could only use my thumb and index finger, and now it's just under 7 inches. No bs.






Any way, getting to the point, I'm here to try the 90 reboot.

I honestly think I may have FINALLY found the answer to all my problems. Lack of energy no matter how much or little I sleep, lack of motivation, inability to approach women, mood swings, lashing out at my parents even though I do love them a lot, creative blocks in music and other artistic endeavors, hopelessness, uncertainty about what to do with my life and what my purpose is, suicidal thoughts, and soooo much more.


I'm a little skeptical that this can be it, a proverbial magic fix. But the only thing for me to do is try it. I've been saying for years now that I'm gonna stop jerking off so much starting tomorrow. This started as me wanting to stop so I could bust a bigger fatter nut, and have it actually feel like it used to haha. Then I discovered all these people saying their social anxiety, depression, lack of creativity in music, mood swings, etc etc have been improved without fapping.

So here goes. It starts now, not tomorrow. Wish me luck. When I get a significant amount of time under my belt I'm going to do a very detailed report including my past. This will be a very interesting self study, and I believe my results will be very valuable to the nofap community when that time comes. I know there are people with "crazier" or "more unique" or [insert best way to communicate concept with other humans here] pasts than I, but given the age I started and the frequency, and the events and severity of my "depression", if this IS in fact a cure, it will be revolutionary! At least for me... lol


Sorry for the rant but could this really be the source of 80% of my problems?

 

Thanks guys! Today starts the first full day. I actually had a whole day last...saturday I think it was, but the next day I went back to old ways.

Now that I've discovered this though Im confident it will be no problem. I'm going to post in my journal now about the beginning of my day, and how sleep was.

 

Thank you.

Funny, I read across one of your posts where you reference akido and talk about embracing challenges/cravings.

Today, my subconcious mind attracted to me lots of "porn". It was soft core and unintentional viewing, but rather than using it as excuse to P or MO, I embraced it and said GOOOOOOSSSSH I love how the universe tests me! And what it really did was open my eyes to how deep seeded and evil this problem really is.

Definitely going to be checking out those books, because as you said I need to stop talking and start doing!