1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Attracted to young boys since 12y/o

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Deleted Account, Aug 20, 2020.

  1. WhiteLion

    WhiteLion Fapstronaut

    138
    113
    43
    Mr. Diesel Do you have friends and family that you can contact?
     
    Mr. Diesel and AddBis like this.
  2. Yes, I can call my family
     
    AddBis likes this.
  3. WhiteLion

    WhiteLion Fapstronaut

    138
    113
    43
    So, I don't know what the rest of these guys are arguing about at this point, but I do know that having others that you care about around you is very important.
     
    Roady and AddBis like this.
  4. I don't understand much too.
    Thanks to everyone for your responses
     
    Chris_Cactusblossom and AddBis like this.
  5. AddBis

    AddBis Fapstronaut

    69
    47
    18
    That is really nice, but is your personal struggle story. There are people who had never felt the slightest attraction to the opposite sex. And my argument is a historic one, and it stands till the present days. We can easily find religious leaders preaching against other's sexual preferences and inciting popular outcry.
     
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2020
    Mr. Diesel likes this.
  6. AddBis

    AddBis Fapstronaut

    69
    47
    18
    I hugely agree that that speech is very biased. The world was so brainwashed by the SJWs and PCs that people became blind. They're like "forcing us to live our liberty". But they decide what our liberty is.

    But this kind of statement is going to the other extreme. I really think we should consider the possibilities that Mr. Diesel might be gay, bi or straight. We should encourage him to discover himself, not to dictate his path. But I can't disagree feeling sexual attraction to kids is a real problem.
     
  7. AddBis

    AddBis Fapstronaut

    69
    47
    18
    Lastly, I'm not saying escalation isn't real, but maybe we should try to see farther than that whenever we can.
     
  8. In my own thoughts, I might be bisexual.
    Romantically and sexually, it doesn't matter to me. But regardless of my sexuality, or religion, being attracted to pre-teens is wrong
     
  9. WhiteLion

    WhiteLion Fapstronaut

    138
    113
    43
    You place an undo amount of pressure on the moral implications of being attached to minors. You are quick to give a moral account to things of non-moral origins and define what you do not want to be rather than what do want to be. You are effectively hampering your ability to think about yourself in a clear headed way.
     
    determinedtoquit likes this.
  10. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    4,259
    26,265
    143
    To be honest, attraction is not something we can easily change. ACTING on an attraction to pre-teens and minors is what is wrong. So, child porn is wrong. Sexual interaction with a child is wrong. Focus on what is really wrong in behaviour and don't feed the attraction you feel inside. I hope it is not an exclusive attraction to young boys. That way, you can still have a healthy outlet for intimacy with adults.
     
    Chris_Cactusblossom and AddBis like this.
  11. In my own experience, I think that setting what you don't want is better than thinking about who you want to be. But it is true that it doesn't benefit me at all, so switching to a more positive, neutral way of thinking would be better.


    I can, if they aren't overly curvy or muscular. I have been clean of shota since the 23rd of august, but lately I have been looking at boys again
     
  12. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    4,259
    26,265
    143
    You must avoid shota at all costs (I had to look it up). But looking at boys, even in non-sexualised pictures is a p/sub for you. This is what I was referring to when I said, "don't feed the attraction you feel inside". I know that must be really hard to do, but that is why you are here, right? You need to reboot your brain from artificial sexual stimulation. Take care bro.
     
    Chris_Cactusblossom likes this.
  13. I have disabled social media so I cannot watch shota, it's mostly at the gym. It's getting harder, but resisting urges is getting easier.
    I'm taking it day by day, slow cook method
     
    Chris_Cactusblossom likes this.
  14. @Mr. Diesel and the rest of you, I'm very worried about the obsession with this word attraction. And please don't get me wrong, I suffered from HOCD for more years of my life than I haven't and I am no better than anybody. But my recovery has been quick because I wasn't so obsessed with attraction, identity, etc.

    I already covered identity, so let me give you a simple rundown to clear the air when it comes to this word attraction.

    Attraction is not in you. It is the quality of another thing.

    Again.

    Attraction is not in you, but it is associated with the quality of a thing outside of you.

    The definition of attraction is accurately described by google:
    "the action or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something."

    Meaning when I look at a woman I find her breasts, her hips, her butt, her legs, her face, her hair and the overall summation of those qualities to be attractive because it evokes pleasure in me.

    But 99% of women have breasts, hips, legs, a butt and a face. Am I attracted to 99% of women? No! Does that not make me a heterosexual because the features of 99% of women dont evoke pleasure from me? No!

    Now, there have been other straight men who have told me once before when I was younger, "You're pretty for a man," and this happens all the time. I even say in my own head, and dont mind telling other guys at an appropriate time that they are handsome. Their features are pleasing to look at. They have attractive features.
    OH MY GOD. I FIND SOMETHING ATTRACTIVE ABOUT A MAN. I'M GAY.
    No. No I'm not. Because what I find attractive about a man doesnt translate to "I need to sleep with that man and now I can never have kids and I need to change my lifesty—" you get it (That's how HOCD works, in a nutshell). And the same translates to women! There are many men who will outright tell you they can't be friends with a pretty girl because they allow those attractive qualities to translate to romantic or sexual pursuit.

    So, because this is long enough, and I could go on. I have a question, though you don't have to answer it here, and maybe you should save if for therapy if you believe that's a service you want to invest it.
    @Mr. Diesel what are the qualities in shota that attract you? That evoke interest and pleasure? And look beyond the surface, because by your written word, we both know it goes deeper than physical qualities. What is it about shota and young boys that then translates into sexual pursuit?

    Let me make a confession. During my younger years of around... 13, 14(?) my pornography tastes had greatly degenerated. I was looking for whatever I could find- nothing was off limits- unless it included human waste or blood or transgenders. But, during that period of my life, I myself masturbated to shota. Though I was suffering from HOCD, it never "stuck" with me that "I'm attracted to little boys," as it has with you; it was a given that porn was attractive and this was just a new genre to get bored of.
    If you believe that attraction is inside of you- considered it debunked. Please give this some thought, as I write these things in hopes of giving you a new perspective so you can find your way to freedom.
    Do not believe the hype, my brother in arms. Attraction is NOT "inside" of us, nor is it unchangeable. We have heard it a million times- a bad attitude can turn a pretty woman into an ugly sight. It is all about perspective. All it takes is new information to change the way we look at a thing.

    God bless you my friend. Walk towards freedom, it is waiting for you.
     
    Chris_Cactusblossom and AddBis like this.
  15. WhiteLion

    WhiteLion Fapstronaut

    138
    113
    43
    determinedtoquit the problem I have with what you are saying is that you seem to be dictating to him how he "should" be. I am not going to give him reassurances about what he is or how he should feel. When you were dealing with HOCD the last thing you would need is people telling you that you were or were not homosexual. It is not your place to tell him what he is or what he is not. It is worth saying that anyone can recognize that a young boy is attractive, that does not mean anything in and of itself.
     
  16. I am. Is that a problem? I am dictating to him that he should be free of the things that make him discontented. He's clearly still obsessed with his childhood crush and is probably developmentally arrested and is headed down a very dangerous path. If someone were standing on the edge of a cliff, yeah they should they get the hell off there instead of jumping.
    And when I was dealing with HOCD, the only thing people were telling me is that I was a homosexual- the only difference is that it almost always came with the attachment of "and I'll always be here for you / support you / there's nothing wrong with that," and it always made me feel worse, not better.

    Thanks for summarizing why his obsession with shota is bullshit, you did it way better than I did. The reason he's posting on nofap about it is because inwardly he knows that the shota is a problem. But let's be real- the shota is just the manifestation of whatever he has and hasn't told us.
    AND he posted it in the "Problematic Sexual Behavior" section no less?
    Honestly.. if this was a joke I would laugh, because it's fucking shocking to see so many men try to affirm ANOTHER MAN for getting off to animated depictions of young boys and possibly real ones. Seriously? Really? IN THE PROBLEMATIC SEXUAL BEHAVIOR SECTION ON A FORUM CALLED NoFap?
    Really?
    Really.
    Aha. It's actually funny the flawed human logic I'm actually surprised you made it to 425 days. Wow. That's definitely a miracle. I wonder if you'd have made it there if people started saying "actually, who are we to tell him that porn is bad for him and what he shouldn't be? Maybe he should just keep jacking off to porn." Really? Are you pornosexual? Just because you get off to something doesn't make it your sexuality. Human beings are malleable. If you really disagree with that- what's the point of nofap? Huh? If human beings can't change their behavior then there's really no point to this and we're all as crazy as the mainstream media makes us out to be. I don't know about you, but my testimony tells that human beings are capable of change and that we should be free from the things that tie us to our past and cause us distress or put us in danger.
    Seriously.
    Like... this forum blows my fucking mind sometimes.
     
  17. AddBis

    AddBis Fapstronaut

    69
    47
    18
    You raised very complex subjects. Sexuality is a fluid and changeable thing, with some limits, of course. I think some will take a lifetime to develop it (I don't think that's a problem, by the way), and others will just feel comfortable with their current rigid sexuality. I don't know if there is a fundamental state of sexuality from where we deviate and where we can try to go back. Indeed, I just assume sexuality is essentially fluid and constructed by us. But we really should try to take advantage of that aspect and make it a source of painlessness.
     
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2020
    Mr. Diesel likes this.
  18. AddBis

    AddBis Fapstronaut

    69
    47
    18
    I think it is just a matter of communication failure. Until your last messages I was missing your point too. Now I get it and agree a lot.
     
    Mr. Diesel likes this.
  19. I totally agree with what you have said here and before. I'll tell you what I like about shotacon, to give you and myself a better perspective.
    - They are cute
    - They are small and weak
    - They can be protected
    - I can relate to them on an emotional, sexual and spiritual level
    - Of course, perversion
    - A bit of sadism, I like seeing them embarrased, flustered, furious, or break down
    - They satisfy my need for human connection, and my obsession with my old crush
    - It brings instantaneous pleasure, like a heroin shot you can get at any moment, for free
    It all comes back to a need for love and acceptance, a relief for the old crush I could never get to accept or be with.

    Also with this, acceptance is something I don't need/want, unless it is about the problem I'm having, and leads to solving it.

    ^ I didn't understand your point up until the last two.
     
  20. I took a test in a pedophilia-specialized website, and it gave me lots of insight on my problem with shotacon, and also a man told me about SA, at the time there are no meetings near my town, but I will try to meet online.
    If you go down to the roots, it comes from a real need for love, attention and fulfillment, which is also related to my need/desire for a partner.
     
    Chris_Cactusblossom and AddBis like this.

Share This Page