scared to cold approach

I think your problem is that you only want to approach this one woman and are building it up in your head to the point where the result of this approach has too much signifigance in your head. Go and approach other people. Not just people you want to date, but anyone. Once approaching a stranger is effortless to you, aoproaching the girls you like won't be that hard either.

 

Ya, just do it.
And until you talk to her, don’t weave up unrealistic situations in your mind.
Just think about how you’d approach.

 

Hey Miggy, i have no idea how she is etc, but you mentioned some guys look at her nothing wrong, but is it because they way she looks or mainly her body? Please don't get me wrong im just wondering uk.

I absolutely feel your frustration and its ok, you can always start by trying to create some occasion where its ''normal'' to talk with her or interact with her, for example she drops some weight around you and you can be kind and pick it up, and start from there idk, you can also try to get her instagram by checking your gym page, maybe she liked some pictures or there's a chance her name or picture is around and you end up finding her online, which if you can't cold approach, starting online could be a way too.

Lmk your ideas bro

 

This might sound like bad advice, but I want to tell you how I do it.

If I run into a woman "in the world", I don't approach.

If I want to meet a woman, then I decide on the right place and time to try.

Then, I go there and work on it, if it's kosher.

If not, forget it. I go back home.

But at the gym, no, because I need to get stuff done there.

I don't want it to be a big social drama.

I'm there to make physical gains.

At the store, no because I need to watch my budget and get the right stuff.

But I might decide on a place, like karaoke, and decide to make one approach,

even when there's no possible chance, and leave right away.

Kind of a hit and run.

I don't get rejected, and stand around like, so how's the weather?

Outside of that environment, usually the odds of success are dismal and not worth

the potential humiliation.

On a weekend, at a club, at a singles meet up event, a social event, that's a good place.

You can't be flinging yourself around when the odds of success are totally unknown.

Because that deteriorates your self-esteem needlessly.

Get the odds in your corner by common interests, or a better situation.

Just my opinion.

Because beating yourself up over a random stranger like that WILL NOT help you,

and it won't help you get her.

You got to stay in the positive and operate where you have a good chance.

The gym is not context enough to think you all might end up dating.

It's not impossible, it's never impossible, but it's unlikely at best.

I write all this to help you and because I struggle with it too.

 

Don't 'cold approach' her, just chat to her in a friendly way. She is at the gym, she feels disgusting and sweaty so she doesn't want a guy to come and chat her up as if she was in a nightclub.

And chat to other people too, get over yourself so it doesn't seem weird. Be the guy who chats to everyone, not just the girls he fancies. It's much easier that way.

If you get on well, ask her to meet you somewhere else, so she can dress up nicely and you can make your move then. If she casually mentions her boyfriend, abort mission! but keep being friendly of course, I'm sure she has some nice friends

 

An underrated point. Propably the easiest way to meet women is through social circles. By refusing female friendships you are limiting yourself to awkward talks with strangers, bullshittery of dating apps and the #metoo-risque way of meeting women in your workplace.

 

awesome point

 

Probably good suggestions, but if you do approach,

get to the kiss, and don't get too friendly.

Because if you end up in the friend zone

it will suck bad.

 

Getting to the kiss at the first time approaching isn't a realistic goal for most people and might even lead to sexual harrasment charges (not to even mention the amount of discomfort caused to the girl who's being asked for a kiss by a total stranger). Getting a kiss on the first date would be a better goal. If that doesn't work out, start thinking wether you can be just friends with her or if you'd prefer to end things there to avoid the friendzone.

 

Do what works for you. That does not work for me.