Very Severe Pied Recovery

Hi!
I'm a 20 year old who started watching high speed internet porn at the age of 12 and stopped at 19. Take into consideration during these years I had zero sexual experience and grew up strictly to porn.

One day I noticed that some types of porn wouldnt arouse me anymore, so I had to swap genres and fantasize even more up until a point (BOOM) that I couldnt get any meaningful erection even to porn, so I googled around and found these forums.

At that point on I lowered my PMO to a once a week thing and made no real progress. Id have to use things like death grip and what not.

Then at the age 19 I went on a strict 4 month hardmode! I noticed improvements like more morning wood that literally never happened before and some random erections. Although, I thought I was healed and did MO without P. Two ish weeks later I got a gf and tried to have sex for the first time and I was barely able to putba condom on. Then I wasnt able to penetrate enough for sex. This was beyond frustrating, but my gf was very understanding.

Weeks later we began to have sex 2 to 3 times a week, but this wasnt very possible until she went on birth control so i no longer needed to use a condom.

Fot the next 9 months I didnt MO once, just sex two to three times a week, but noticed that my erections were not getting better, just stagnating.

Then we broke up and I went back on hardmode for roughly 150 days straight, MO once (not to porn) then went 155 more days straight and I got a new gf.

The first time we tried to have sex (BOOM) limp dick and I came in literally 15 seconds. This was beyond infuriating considering I had not watched porn once in over a year and only did MO TWICE. 9 months of "rewiring" did next to nothing. The 150 day streaks hardly did anything either.

From there we had bad sex until I got a sildenafil prescription and whenever I pop a few of them we can have very good sex that lasts awhile. Although, I need the ED drugs and I know that it makes a difference (not just placebo) because blood flows out much much less after getting an erection on it. Without it, I cant keep the erection for long enough else Ill go soft inside of her.

I can have a sex life with the ED drugs and have successful sex 1 to 2 times daily, but only with it.

Im worried I am permanently damaged and that monk mode/hardmode won't fix me.

I see very few guys that have gone as long as me without porn on here with equally low success.

I have not got my blood checked but im pretty sure my test levels are fine, Im very muscular without much lifting experience.

Performance anxiety was real and it made things worse, but im fairly certain the majority of my ED is from porn.

What should I do? Will kegels help at all? I read some guy argue that we have tight pelvic floors and need to do reverse kegels and not normal kegels.

My gf is at college and I will only see her every month or so, giving me some time in between each O, but I'm worried I'll need a year more of hardmode or so to fully recover and even then I dont know. This girl is great and I dont want to drop sex when we have been doing it successfully with ED drugs.

Has anyone tried stopping sex right before O to keep a streak going? I might have to try it.

Looking for help from a brother

 

Thanks for the reply

Bad sex meaning I could barely stay hard.

I've only done M once in over a year now. Just O with partner.

Also I did not have a healthy relationship with porn, what I meant was that my recovery seems to be wayyyyy slower than the forums post I find. Guess I shouldnt complain though.

Im not overweight at at all I'm 169 lbs at 6 feet tall, low body fat percentage.

Never smoke, am not on any prescriptions other than the ED pills obviously.

I exercise frequently and liftweights most days of the week. I also drink green tea daily along with other things like taking fish oil/ eating blueberries which are meant to help with neuroplasticity.

Should I see a doctor? I cant think of any immediate help theyd be able to give me. I think I might have had a uti when i was 13 or 14 that I just waited out but i dont think thats relevant.

Again thanks

 

I had a gf that I had sex with a few times per week last year in august. That lasted six months. Now ive been with a new gf for about a month now.

Also Ive grew up playing a LOT of video games throughout my life. It has always been a huge hobby of mine. Think I should try to drop it?

Probably shoulda put this in the main thread too, but there are times during sex where I dont feel super aroused. This is pretty regular too. Would more hardmode fix this? Ive had a ton of sex over the last year and that seemingly isn't "rewiring" me all that much.

Thanks for the help!

 

I dont think a really long flatline... just that I dont get as much excitement from sex compared to when i used to PMO. For the past half year ive had pretty bad OCD too. Got lymes when I was a kid and had it since.

Do you think dwelling on addictions, such as video games and OCD, is delaying my brain from ridding itself from the same pathways I made with PMO?

Again thanks so much for the help.