Almost relapsed today. How do I build mental fortitude?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by mrk303, Sep 4, 2020.

  1. mrk303

    mrk303 Fapstronaut

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    I didn't view hardcore porn, just some Instagram pages. I also edged very close to the point of ejaculation. How do I build the mental fortitude to leave the site immediately, and resist the temptation to get a few strokes in? Seriously, I haven't made it past 5 days in the last two months, and need to build mental strength.
     
  2. Exit To Freedom

    Exit To Freedom Fapstronaut

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    Don't take that first step, easier said than done - remember how you felt the last time after you acted out. Do you want to feel that way again? I identify.
     
    OnTheEdge likes this.
  3. You need to get it into your mind that you have to actually stop doing this if you want to rid yourself of porn. If you keep going back to it you'll never get rid of it. Once you realise you can resist it and overcome the urges, you'll realise you have a power you can apply to other areas of life. It also reminds you that things will not always be this difficult. You'll remember the times when the urges were seemingly insurmountable and realise that you succeeded in overcoming them. Think about how the power to not need orgasm and porn in your life will benefit you. Also remember this is a journey and a journey that only you can take. Only you can decide what works for you.
     
    Candun, Ogikubo and Fishn1 like this.
  4. theMotivator

    theMotivator Fapstronaut

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    You get grip on your willpower only if you break through the first 20 - 30 days. Don't expect it to be easy. You must really want to break out, and sometimes it means that you will fight with not doing it like a lion (really hard), even being on the edge of relapsing, but you must force yourself to get out of the situation.
     
    The Passenger, Ogikubo and Fishn1 like this.
  5. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

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    The more and more close you get to the act, and the higher and higher risk you put yourself in the more likely you will not be able to pull yourself out of it.
    Did you feel that strong pull when you got into instagram ? Alright then delete it, block it from your phone. Now you know instagram isn't a safe place. We're you bored when browsing the internet? We're you fantasizing before going on the internet ? Try and find the seed that started that " pull" feeling.
    For me to not watch porn ever again. I've had to set up accountability software on my phone , I've had to delete my Facebook , snapchat , instagram , I've had to stay away from random Google searches of woman , I've had to stay away from sexual Netflix movies or shows, YouTube music videos are an absolute no go. I have to be very very careful if I'm on YouTube at all.

    It's possible. You have the most power at the place where you can recognize what your triggers and high risk situations are and make sure you stay away from them in the first place. Does that make sense ?
     
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  6. Hello, may I ask if to this day you have trouble with movies or youtube, or instagram? I mean, I don't know if I'd want to be that restrictive. I understand if you keep away from those things while rebooting yourself, but after it as well?
     
  7. Habbapop

    Habbapop Fapstronaut

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    You can see this in two ways i would say.

    1 You faild. This is the wrong way IMO.
    2. You can see it as a win. You DID NOT complete the PMO. edgeing isnt good, nor watching p-subs. But you DID break the habit of going all the way. Learn from this. How did you feel before you stated to watch psub. how did you feel before edgeing, what made you do thees things. And the more you know about your addiction and why you go to those places, the easier it gets to prevent. Next time you will stop when you watching p-subs not when you are almost PMOing. And the next time after that you will stop when you seach for p-subs, and next time you will stop when the thought hits you.

    Do you understand what i meen ?
     
  8. Habbapop

    Habbapop Fapstronaut

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    This will never be a straith line thing. It will go in ALL diretions. But if you relapse or do something you shouldn't. Dont blame yourself, Learn from it. The addiction whant you to blame yourself so you get low self-estime so it is easier for the addiction to pull you even further down.
     
  9. elvagoazul

    elvagoazul Fapstronaut

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    I avoid those triggers, because they can lead to relapse. I used to be confortable watching arousing material, but every time I did that I suddenly remembered PMO, then there was no exit, and all of that always ended in relapses. It's safer staying away from triggers, try to reduce the time you spend in social media, and don't look at photos of women. You can still watch youtube videos as long as they don't show bodies of women.
     
    Chefb87 likes this.
  10. Exit To Freedom

    Exit To Freedom Fapstronaut

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    Best for me to look away right now. Several women walking down the street today and I purposely looked away. Today was the first day I felt that thirst for porn, the big urge - it was triggered by just looking at a beautiful news anchor women and found myself fantasizing. Have held myself in check for just over a week now and why I'm here right now. Always remember the cycle you will get back in and what will happen if you give in, down and out or maybe justifying it until it eats you alive and you find you're here again, don't you always find yourself here again? I do - this time I have to stay, and not come back because I can't take the pain again.
     
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  11. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

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    I can go on YouTube , but I have to be very careful on what I watch. Anything that can be sexual is a no go. Same for Netflix , I watch Netflix , but anything that's too sexual or nudity I still stay away from. And I will have to for the rest of my life. The idea of having to say goodbye to that for the rest of my life used to be so sad and frustrating. I became that restrictive with myself because I wanted to be healthy and I wanted to recover more than I wanted to continue to slip and relapse.
     
  12. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

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    I feel like, in my opinion , some of the urge and triggers you now have because of porn and sex addiction don't ever go away. But you become stronger and learn the tools to be able to resist those triggers . You build the tools to manage.
    I kind of look at porn/ sex addiction as finding out you have diabetes. Once you have it , you have it for life . But there are millions and millions of people out there that have diabetes but still live their best lives! They learned how to manage it , they may of had to change their past lifestyle in the process.
    It sounds crappy and sad at the start , but as you stick with your recovery you see how much life is better without all these crutches we relied on
     
    Ogikubo likes this.
  13. You have received a lot of replies and they all seem pretty sensible. I'll add my thoughts and hope they help.
    In spite of what so many guys profess, they are actually scared of being completely free of porn. No shame in that. I mean, we've relied on it for so long. But once that fear fades you will see the difference. It won't come from will power - it will come from your core beliefs about yourself as a human.
    Finally, ask yourself this: "What is the worst thing that will happen to me if I do not access porn today?"
     

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