Why are we abstaining from PMO ?

The overwhelming and persistent feeling that I'm not steering the ship. This overshadows all other cons of PMO for me, as numerous as they are.

 

It gets worse with every fap. Somehow, I always feel lower and more lost, there is layer after layer of extreme isolation and *pathetism* and there is never rock rock bottom. Am doing PMO because I can no longer live a life where I am sinking as time goes by. Where am getting more and more distraught, just like the addicts in Requiem for a Dream, or any crack addicts out there that lay helpless waiting for a fix. P is basically Crack, and probably worse.

 

PMO normalized depression, anxiety, and insecurity for me to the point that I thought that was my identity.

I masturbated to porn for decades since being a child and until last year had no idea what life without PMO could be like.

Now I can see a light at the end of the tunnel and a way out of my problems. I have more energy and I am taking ownership of my issues instead of escaping and coping with porn constantly.

My advice is don’t be too hard on yourself if you fail but pay attention and be honest with yourself about the difference between life without PMO and life if/when you’re in a relapse. Cycling between being on a no-PMO streak and being in a relapse eventually made me realize how life is so much richer without PMO. Once you see what you could have by breaking free from your porn affliction it becomes harder to continue fooling yourself into thinking that you can live your best life while being hooked on porn and fapping.

 

I came to the realization that I was a vicious addict when I called out from work just to spend the day watching Porn and Masturbating at the end of which I had a full blown panic attack... My brain had had enough of the addiction and clearly wanted me to stop. I was unhealthier than I had ever been, I stopped going to family functions and hanging out with friends, my whole life was consumed by this addiction....

I looked in the mirror and thought to myself, I’m only 29, how much more of my life am I willing to waste on this? Is this really who I want to be for the rest of my life? Some porn addict who would rather Fap than spend time with friends and family? I decided than that I needed to stop, before the damage done was irreversible. That was 4 months ago, it’s been hell since then but I’m still fighting the good fight.

I’m so glad I found this community, and I can’t wait for the day I can see a big 90 under my posts. Stay Strong All.

 

Dependency. That is why, removing the blindfold from our eyes which prevents us to see that which we just don't want to see or work on. The fact of preferring artificial and imaginary bonding over the real thing. Taking something akin to a drug which will for sure make us forget about our tribulations but by the time the effect is over not only are they still there, but we'll feel worse as we haven't even tried anything to actually solve them.

 

It started with escalation to material that made me uncomfortable. Now I want to quit not only because I would like to stop seeing that stuff but it also showed me how addicted I really am.

 

One common misunderstanding is that PMO is about sex. This leads to a lot of mistaken steps to redirect, block or hide sexual energy. The fact is that since 2006, PMO is primarily an Internet Addiction. Porn represents an escalation in more extreme internet content. However, video games are another debilitating problem, as is social media.

If you want to stop the brain damage that PMO causes, you need to regulate device usage, screentime and internet-access. This is especially true for the early days of recovery. After you transcend the initial wave of cravings and get some distance from them, you can begin using your smartphone and computer regularly. But you will need to be careful to not self-sabotage by browsing aimlessly on Youtube and search engines and following hyperlinks and thumbnails, etc.

The biggest reason to quit PMO is because it causes brain damage. A compromised brain crosses over into every area of life. Most of the reported "superpowers" are just the healing of grey and white matter, reward pathways and dopaminergic signalling in the brain. We should restore our health so that we can have optimal capacity to function at whatever we want to achieve. And be happy and peaceful while pursuing it.

 

I’m wasting my life if I sit around PMOing.
And
I’m killing the chances of a little person being born.

 

I'm doing this because I'm no longer able to feel enthusiasm, joy, and good feelings in general.

For no apparent reason I feel bad and tired all day, and I also often get in a bad mood. Besides, I can no longer pay attention to what people are saying, in fact I stopped caring about it and I often feel like telling them to shut up, because almost no subject is more interesting to me, I don't have the patience for that anymore

As a consequence, I'm distancing myself from people and running out of friends. I also don't feel like creating anymore, my creativity is running out, and this directly affects my work and my ability to make money. In short, I'm dying inside and becoming a terrible person.

And I was totally the opposite of what I am today, I used to have dreams, a lot of desire to win, a lot of self-esteem, everything was cool, exciting, the world was incredibly beautiful. But after I started watching porn it was a downhill where I became more and more addicted and things only got worse. It's like a suicide in drops.

 

A dwarf?

 

well, for me personally. I used to feel crushing guilt but it's not been that severe of late but sensation is still there when i relapse. I also stop feeling hungry and skip lunch and dinner many times. I feel very empty and lose interest in everything when i binge. I am still upset over breaking my 6 months streak about 1 month ago and at one point i even felt like i have got rid of PMO from my life forever but that was just delusion, it doesn't matter how much time has passed, you still need to give your 100% everyday to avoid having any chance of relapse.