36 and Rebooting Life...on Day 5

Hello Internet! I am a 36 yr old guy at a crossroads in my life. Earlier this year I split up with my wife of 13 years. Nothing to do with performance or anything like that, no it was more we became too different of people to move forward together. She was always a fixer-upper(something that has sadly drawn me in previously). Very demanding and I really didn't take great care of myself, and my own personal happiness. Anyway, enough about that. I have had one casual girlfriend since the split, but really just working on me for the moment....doing the things that I love and getting my head right before I commit to somebody else. I am working out more, doing martial arts a lot again, reading, and just really enjoying life.

Lets talk more about why I am here. I found porn at a pretty early age. My best friend in about the 5th grade had snuck one of his dad's magazines out of his stash and hidden it in his room. That was my first real look in wonderment at the female body. Its been something for me ever since. Since around that age, taking care of myself has been a very common occurrence...some times as little as twice a week, some times as much as 5-6 times a day(more the former than the latter lately). Of these times, with and without porn.

Fast-forward to about a year ago, and I started noticing some changes. The oft eager lathering up in the shower leading into finishing out the deed started turning into having problems finishing the job. This started turning into any time just from imagination just simply wasnt enough. Performance with my wife of the time was still okay, with a few mishaps here and there that I could recover from. The most recent forray with the casual girlfriend went well enough too. While they went well enough(i made sure the ladies were plenty taken care of), however, i didn't feel as satisfied as usual.

What really clued me into a problem, however, was when I could no longer get enough arousal from still porn images and could only do so with video. Also, I dont have nearly as many random erections, I at least never lost my night and morning erections. Thats when i started looking here to see if I could find answers.

While I am in this state of improving myself and not really putting myself out there much yet, this is the perfect time and opportunity for me to take some time and just see if I can recoup some of what I lost. I don't feel like I got myself to the place where I was too far gone, but I want to make myself better so that when i find that next lady in my life i can go into it confidently and things be as they should.

I am at day 5 now and so far so good. Ive managed any temptations well. Energy was low on days 3-4, but this morning I did have probably one of the hardest erections I've had in a while...more energy...and more motivation to get up and do stuff than usual, so I put that energy to work and got a bunch of yard work done.

Anywho, glad to be here and hoping for the best in all this.

 

Thanks!

And as for reading i do read a bit all over the place(often opting for scifi/fantasy), but here lately I've been taking a more intellectual route to my reading. Reading a lot of psychology, ethics, and unapologetic self-betterment(authors like Mark Manson). Currently in the middle of "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking"

 

Thanks. And yeah, while I understand that at our age it isn't unheard of for some mishaps to happen....If I can get some control over it now, the better it bodes for the future.