Watching pictures without really feeling anything

Hi!

Have you guys gotten to the point that you have blocked porn from your PC but you still tend to go to search engine and look up adult actresses even though you do not feel anything towards them. They might be visually pleasing but you aren't horny or anything. It has developed into some weird comfort thing with stimulation of your dick with your hand.

I realise that these are just virtual women and I'm not gonna meet them in real life or I'm not even interested in meeting them in real life since my values are different and I live in completely different country. Atleast I have not wasted any money on this habit/addiction.

It is pointless but you still keep doing it. I decided to make a stop to it since not doing good to myself with it. It is just temporary comfort without any real connection or feelings. It is not productive and it is just wasting time. I think it also prevents me from really caring or being attracted to the opposite sex since I'm not letting myself be horny.

I guess this is just some of my rambles.

 

So I guess since it is constant build up the dopamine receptors overload and that leads to feeling sad and tiny bit depressed?
Since usually in real life situation that dopamine build up and sustainability is not the same.

 

I'm not denying they are the only difference it is not full nudity but the people are similar. Yeah I kind of understood that edging part. From changing my ways relating to those thing I stop this artificial dopamine building and build dopamine with healthier methods without constant highs and lows. Even if the dopamine amount released is not the same.

 

Yeah currently I have lots of reading to do regarding University. Two things I want to try during my day is going for a walk without music or using some relaxing music and just having a thought to myself. Other thing is to try a guided meditation I even have an app for it. Well I guess those hard emotions is loneliness for longer period of my life which I try to I guess comfrot with those pictures or pmo. I'm a talkative person when it is just not only me that tries to spark the conversation but I have not had really meaningful relationships as far as friendships.

I think it has became a thing on it's own just a habit without a goal of seeking comfort in it if that makes sense.

 

Well I think in my past life I felt that I was the only one that was putting the effort into being social and asking others out to hang out. Eventually I got fed up with it since I was the only one making effort. I guess that lead to loneliness. Why put effort into something when you are only one doing it? When I was hanging out with others we had fun and everything but again it was me making the most effort.

So I guess I want that response from others so it is not just me seeking a conversation or a friend. That made me sort of reserved not very social, more content with being alone by myself... it is not like I need attention or someone by me 24/7. At the same time being alone a lot is not healthy and is not helping with the whole PMO.

 

I see that some people think they can train their sensitivity and perspective by looking at NSFW(like clothed sluts etc.) content.But the common denominator of these people is that they cannot reach 90 days.Also 90 day is nothing but this is another topic.I don't think looking at this kind of content will be useful when rebooting.Because your brain will use them for sexual dopamine.It's still the same damn purpose.This is something I've experienced as well.When I started nofap two years ago, I'm talking about the time I experienced my first long streak.I've watched movies and read comics with a lot of sexual content on this streak.At first these were not interesting to me because I was bombarded by P.Sure it doesn't make much sense for my brain, which is used to more hardcore content, to be affected by these contents.After a while I realized that everything started to affect me, everything seemed to me like P. To control my sensitivity, I watched a few TV shows and searched for some NSFW content.And then I relapsed, my 140-day streak was shattered.So the lesson from that is, early in your streak or after a certain amount of time, never test yourself with NSFW contents. This is always unnecessary and risky. You can screw everything up.