1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Fenix Rising, May 12, 2019.

Tags:
  1. DGZ

    DGZ Fapstronaut

    180
    263
    63
    Be patient. I also am going through hell because of these ups and downs. But there is an end to them. The past three days, I was so fucking confident. No problem was too big for me to solve. I felt like I was in control of my life.

    The only thing you need to do now ("only") is not relapse. If you do, your recovery will take forever and you will never see the light of day.
     
    Brain Fog, clapas, Jarad999 and 2 others like this.
  2. Ezpz

    Ezpz Fapstronaut

    Its nice to have so many conflicting thoughts on this topic and thanks to @Sleepislost2 for participating in a study. I have always wondered what my brain would look like compared to another person.

    I thought it also beneficial to add to the discussion at just over 400 days PMO free. I will admit i gave up on all my good habits about 4 - 5 months ago. I was doing all the good stuff for a very long time, hoping that it would make a difference to my recovery time or hoping that it would change the way i felt from day to day. Unfortunately none of it helped, my symptoms were as prominent as ever and eventually i didnt have the willpower to keep going after no results. I have been doing nothing to help my recovery over the past few months and yet i continue to recover anyway, despite gaming, watching TV, eating shitty food (My diet is mostly clean) and staying up to late. In fact as the months go by i feel better and better on the whole and yet i am doing nothing to help it. The depression is basically non-existent now, the anhedonia is lifting, the anxiety is getting better and my mind is getting clearer. I will have periods where withdrawal and all its symptoms come back for a certain period of time and then almost always i will feel good again after that. Each good period i get is getting better and better and my best days seem to be when my libido returns and morning wood returns.

    My last wet dream about a month ago sent me back into a flatline. Nowadays its so much easier to deal with those down days as i know im going to feel good again after them. Im not sure what happens during these low days but it seems that my brain makes the most progress during them.

    Ill say again that it doesnt matter what i do in my life (other that PMO of course), recovery still happens. Of course i would benefit to going back to all my good habits again and i wonder what effect doing so would have on me now but right now all that matters is the continuation of being P free.

    To me this answers the question of 'does doing x effect my reboot?' and the answer is mostly no.
     
  3. AspiringVitality

    AspiringVitality Fapstronaut

    358
    439
    63
    Thank you for still being active and informing us here. This puts much hope into my heart thanks
     
    zander13, DGZ, Ezpz and 1 other person like this.
  4. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

    512
    528
    93
    You wonder an unhealthy life style was causing you bad symptoms? Now you say relapsing is not so bad for you? Come on mate, it is obvious that an unhealthy life style can cause you problems. Many of us, including myself, already led a healthy life, i.e. sorted out the obvious things. It is PMO that is not so obvious as a root of bad symptoms, and that is why we are here and why we see our symptoms improve with abstinence from PMO. I'm sorry but I think this last post of yours does not help at all.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2020
    AspiringVitality and zander13 like this.
  5. Big Lebowski

    Big Lebowski Fapstronaut

    35
    61
    18
    You're right I was living an unhealthy lifestyle. But however since I am controlling my stress and managing depression I have not noticed any increase in symptoms even after a relapse. Just stating the truth in my eyes. I'm just offering my perspective not help mate. The only symptom I have is anhedonia now and that is it.
     
    ALPHAandOMEGA likes this.
  6. What about your almost two years of abstention from porn if I remember correctly? Maybe that had a huge impact on your overall wellbeing. As clapas said, many of us have had a strict diet, daily exercises etc, but nothing has helped apart from staying off of PMO.
     
  7. Big Lebowski

    Big Lebowski Fapstronaut

    35
    61
    18
    My two year abstention was just that, abstention, I didn't really change my thoughts, life or habits. Since starting an exercise regimen 6 days a week in noticing a lot of improvements. I'm not relapsing to porn and haven't in a while though.
     
  8. Last week I had some porn binges. 3 days later the shit started again. Brainfog, depression, extreme fatigue, insomnia, nightmares, pretty intense social anxiety, agoraphobia and major anhedonia. It's already getting better and feel stable already. I can live with the anhedonia. It wasn't like I had it in 2018. That was like some lighter form of benzo withdrawal back then. (Although benzo withdrawal feels way different and it's pure psychotic terror.

    For me porn is still the main culprit for my mood problems.
     
  9. More than 2 years stable with harmode on and off from pmo, I'm still paralyzed. Now I'm having symptoms such as neck stiffness, constipation, eyes moving(remember you stated this as well). I'm having some symptoms already reported from other rebootera. I think it would take me another year off to start enjoying life again.
     
    Last edited: Sep 17, 2020
    clapas and AspiringVitality like this.
  10. Big Lebowski

    Big Lebowski Fapstronaut

    35
    61
    18
    Yeah defo don't do what I did and just abstain, change your life mate, try and live as clean and healthy as possible. I know these symptoms are shit and hell on earth. The worst for me now is anhedonia, I can sleep a better since not relapsing and exercising, thankfully. Hopefully tackle this anhedonia and get my libido back that has been gone for years.
     
    AspiringVitality and ArduousPath like this.
  11. Big Lebowski

    Big Lebowski Fapstronaut

    35
    61
    18
    I hardly experienced the fatigue as a symptom although living with psychomotor retardation and procrastination left me motionless. I need this anhedonia to go though, it causes me great existential grief. Its one of the worst symtpoms of pmo and mental disorders.

    In your experience is anhedonia one of the last to leave?
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2020
    Deleted Account and ArduousPath like this.
  12. I can't really function man. I can't even stay standing for 30 minutes. I'm really broken.....
     
  13. ALPHAandOMEGA

    ALPHAandOMEGA Fapstronaut

    71
    64
    18
    I’ve been there too brother.... When I first started having panic attacks due to PMO it basically paralyzed me. I took leave of absence from work in May and basically just stayed in bed 22 hours a day.

    The body will begin to decondition quickly and by July I was so bad that when I tried to go for a walk outside I only made it two houses down before my legs started shaking, I was sweating profusely, my heart rate was like 140 and I honestly felt like I was about to faint.

    My doctors connected me with a physical therapist to start a reconditioning program but it’s not easy. The main takeaway though, you’ve got to keep moving as much as possible. When the body is not moving it triggers a whole host of problems that, trust me, you want no part of.

    Stay Strong brother.
     
  14.  
  15. Queek The HeadTakker

    Queek The HeadTakker Fapstronaut

    407
    687
    93
    Thats too much for being from PMO , you should go to a doctor
     
    Freeddom_Taker likes this.
  16. DerJogge

    DerJogge Fapstronaut

    156
    466
    63
    Hey guys,


    I've been a silent reader for a long time and first of all wanted to thank you guys a lot. You tremendously helped me through my journey the last months and it somehow comforts me that others are fighting the same battle as me. I read like most of the pages and I can resonate with nearly everyone as I'm suffering from a severe case of P.A.W.S. I'm going to write down my story so far and give some insights about recovery. I sometimes wander off with my thoughts in text but overall I think everything goes together. It's gonna be long text so I don't mind if some people don't wanna read the full text. I will keep my postings more short in the future.

    A little background: In May 2018 I decided to quit my life and turn things around. I was addicted to amphetamines, weed, alcohol, cigarettes, masturbation, porn, video games and coffein. I tried to quit weed many times before but life always didn't felt quite right. Well you can't feel good if you keep drinking alcohol on the weekends, play video games the rest of the week and fapping yourself to sleep every night. I never realized my full blown addiction to PMO and video games. But this time I did and I went cold turkey from everything. I managed to succeed and got into a relationship with a f*ck-buddy of mine. We really loved each other but our relationship also revolved around sex. I could do what ever I want sexually and she would be happy about it. This slowly brought me back to really, really dark places. In hindsight I never left those dark places - I just covered them up with sexual arrousal. Sooner or later I was drinking again, smoking cigarettes and weed again. Not like a complete fall back - I still managed to keep most of my good habits alive and focused on studying and looking into the future. I never fell back into the tragic abyss of being close to killing myself. I really tried to find a middle way and consume things in moderation but if you have been down the rabbit hole as deep as I were then you can't go back to smoke 1-2 joints a week and be sober and happy the rest of the week. The addiction memory doesn't work this way. I somehow gave myself a kick in the ass and tried to get back on the track although objectively everything was fine: had awesome grades, good sex, new friends, etc. but everything doesn't felt quite right. I forced myself to do all those things and expecting them to making me happy. No that's not the happiness I have felt before in short selected moments where peace and a warm feeling arose in the middle of my being. In theory happiness doesn't need anything from the outside world - it comes from within. I knew this realization already before it unfolded into my waken consciousness. I became strict of consuming nothing which disturbs my inner neurotransmitter balance which also meant to stop having sex with my girlfriend. At first she was totally fine with that and even felt euphoric about it herself, as sex nearly destroyed our relationship because of all the symptoms of having (too much) orgasms. For the first time in my life I went into hard mode back in April 2019 and I didn't knew shit about P.A.W.S back then. I read all the success stories form people on r/Semenretention while I was left with crazy symptoms including: fight or flight the whole time, brain fog, depersonalization-derealization, my vision being completely off (visual snow if anyone knows what I'm talking about), (social) anxiety, depression, anedonia, neck stiffness, tinnitus (which I have since years), extreme fatigue, mood swings, irritability, unability to think straight, forgetfullness, sleep problems etc... Name the symptom I got it. I maybe even forget one or the other but in the end it doesn't matter. I have the full broadside. I credit this to all the addictions I accumulated and for me the DP/DR, vision and sleep problems are the most severe and annoying. If those symptoms leave then I think the rest of the party will be a walk in the park and I'm not saying this out of arrogance but out of a certainty as on some days DP/DR and the vision problems seem to be gone and then I still feel bad but somehow be able to feel connected to everything around me and not being cut off into my own mind.

    Back to my timeline. I stayed on SR for about 3-4 months and then wet dreams started and I ejaculated while messing around with my gf for a few times but nothing to wild. Then I went to morocco on a round-trip and if anyone knows about morocco you would know that they have some great hash. Yes I smoked the whole trip of 3 weeks and also smoked cigs again. I still enjoyed the time being there and had no problems smoking my last joint on the last day at a nice hostel while being in the company of a few guys having a good time but I still knew that it all wasn't real. I was still addicted to several things and I still felt alot of symptoms which I had to cover up with any form of stimulants. I still was able to keep up my responsibilities and still managed to get forward in life but I had this itch that everything I do isn't going to get me anywhere. I came back from morocco had sex several times with my gf. She was fixed on getting f*cked again and then I finally made the decision on October 1st 2019 that it's enough already. My gf left me 2 weeks later and like a world crashed to me as she was my light in the dark going through recovery but in the end she fell prey to lust and addiction herself. But I was done with going back to things that give me temporary pleasure while hindering a normal neurotransmitter baseline which requires no constant external consumption in order to feel normal, happy and peaceful. Something concerning my addiction changed and I never ever had a moment of danger where I was close to smoking a joint, masturbating, smoking a cig, drinking alcohol again, nothing beside the urge to impregnate a woman. This feeling is so present over the whole journey it's insane. There is a little man inside me wanting to impregnate all the beautiful ladies out there. No matter what I do this feeling and itch is always there and I can't do shit about it. I guess this is normal when you go on a very long streak but having this many symptoms - it's really difficult to get your thoughts and feelings straight. I have no problems with getting a boner, having a morning wood or feeling attracted to real life women. It's been 800 days since I played video games and snorted amphetamines the last time, 17 months since I PMO'd the last time, it's been 16 months since I drank alcohol, it's been 12 months since I smoked cigarettes and weed and lastly it's 11 and half months since I had my last conscious. Beside that I still have WD and I can't put my head around them.

    I'm still feeling like shit most of the days BUT shit got a lot better. I tend to forget this fact nearly daily and often feels like I made no progress but in reality I came so far it's insane. Things that bothered me moths ago are no problem any more and regarding the shit life threw at me - I am really f*cking proud of how far I came to this point. In early february this year something really tragic happend to the most important person in my life, my best-friend, the reason I'm still walking this planet - my father... We had a routine of jogging every second day on our favorite route around some seas in the woods. At a somehow normal day he just consciously lay down on the floor while staring at me without saying a word and not reacting to any of my questions while looking helplessly into my eyes. I didn't knew what was going on and we both had no mobile phones with us. Usually there are a lot of people around the area so you could easily call for help but nobody was there this day. Call it bad luck, call it fate, I don't know. I remembered passing another jogger a few minutes ago so I ran back like Usain Bolt and reached him and begged him to get help as he got no smartphone either. Meanwhile I had to leave my father alone, not knowing whether we will die alone with nobody near him but after one or two minutes of analysing the situation I felt like this was the most clever thing to do. I ran back to him and he was just snoring, having seizures, cramping up. He had gone unconscious. I just stayed with him and tried the best to apply first aid but nothing helped beside putting my fingers between his teeth so he couldn't bite off his tongue. I just waited helplessly for about 20 minutes while having no clue of what is actually going on. I then made another attempt by shouting at the top of my lungs to get help. Then I said goodbye to my father and went to search for some help. I saw the jogger in the far distance and knew he was trying his best to get help - so I went back. Luckily there was some park rangers coming along who met the jogger and they told me they caught help 10 minutes ago. Emergency truck came and I kinda felt relieved that my father made it to this point and I thought that the worst is over now and he will be fine again as the medics took care of him. They took him to the hospital, checked him up and then a doctor told me that they have to take an emergency operation as an aneurysm in his head has popped and his brain is flooded in blood. He survived the operation but then shit really hit the fan. He was in life danger for several weeks while being in artificial coma, parts of his gut got removed, he was close to death several times and one time we as a family had to say goodbye which was the most heart breaking thing I ever experienced in my life. Seeing my mother and sisters loosing their shit was really to much at some point. We stayed in the hospital for hours just waiting for this hell to end. Then we got the message that they are gonna await the final checkup by the neuro-team and then they slowly let him off the hook by taking away the medication that keeps his heart running. They had no hope for him because his brain pressure was off the charts. We said goodbye, I hugged his non reacting body a last time and we left because we couldn't take it any longer. I was at home lying in bed with my mother and realizing the fact that my father will die. I'm just sitting in tears writing this - but man this was the darkest moment I had ever encountered in life but I it was at this moment that I knew I left my addiction behind. I'm not gonna smoke, fap, snort, game or drink my pain away and realized that everything we have to endure is part of the experience being a human. The pain is the tribute for the gift of existence. You can't experience the good stuff without the bad stuff. You wouldn't know what the purest bliss really is if you never experienced hell before. After wandering in thoughts and bathing in my negative emotions I got woken up by the call of the hospital. The head of the neuro-team called me and told me that the sensor which was measuring his brain pressure was defect and that they won't give up on my father and that he will in fact survive. Just imagine the emotions going through me. He bounced back. He stayed in coma for about 2-3 months after this event which also was a very difficult time as Covid came along and we weren't allowed to visit him anymore. We called the hospital on a daily basis to get any new informations but nothing changed. Then he slowly showed signs of consciousness and woke up in some form. All by himself in a hospital without his loved ones. At some point we were able to visit him but only 1 hour a week. It took another 2 months since he was awake for a few minutes and able to move his hands. Eventually he got better bit by bit and today he is awake the whole day, able to move his hand properly, reacting to things with his mimic, understanding informations and processing them, understanding jokes which require memories prior to his accident and even making me laugh. Sadly he is still unable to speak as he got a trumpet cut and he is bound to the bed and can barely moves his legs BUT he is making progress and that's the only thing that counts after saying goodbye to him at some point. While going through all this pain and emotions I still had my battle going on with P.A.W.S. Having the symptoms and additionally having to deal with the most traumatic shit I could imagine for myself, was and is really though but it showed me the full range of my capabilities. Although I'm suffering from so many symptoms I still managed to keep my sanity, stayed on track like never before AND I basically sacrificed my whole life to my family while maintaning my studying and a new job as covid took away my old one. I renovated the house my parents wanted to sell a long time ago, I somehow kept the finances of my parents in tact, managed the complex bureaucracy of my father and so many other things that modern life requires from. Just a few days ago I gave over the house to the estate agent and he's now finally able to find a buyer. The battle doesn't end for me as many other things have to be done and my mother and sisters can't really help as they often don't know how things work.

    I feel a small light at the end of the tunnel although I'm in the midst of a really big P.A.W.S-wave since about a whole month. Everything feels so dull and lifeless and I can't seem to connect to the outer world. I also lack a lot of social contacts but I can't really meet up with people my age as most of them don't take Covid seriously and the danger of catching it is to high as I regulary visit my father and I don't wanna risk all the progress he had made by putting him into the danger of dying from Covid. I'm left with getting many things done, going home eating, sleeping, reading books and watching youtube video and being on reddit. I don't really have left any energy to do other things. Just last week I started jogging again after being on hold for a few months and all my stamina seems to be there but I found that I tend to push things to hard when I jogg and most of the times my symptoms get a lot worse when I exercise too hard but I can't help it. When I jogg I have to go all the way otherwise it's boring. The point I'm currently at in recovery is really difficult to describe. I know that I won't relapse no matter what is coming but at the same time all the symptoms really make it hard to enjoy life even if just for a few minutes. Deep down I know that they will subside and that P.A.W.S in fact is real but I also can't help the feeling of anedonia, depression, DP/DR, fatigue, etc. I feel so disconnected for most of the time and out of the sudden I get a few moments of peace and then fight or flight sets in over some minor bullshit or me just thinking about the symptoms. I realized that most of my symptoms arise from a overfiring FoF-reaction which basically is preventing most of us from recovering any time sooner. I read through all the post and especially Don seemed to hit the nail with his describtions. FoF is causing my DP/DR, visual problems and even tinnitus. It definitely got better over time but I still find myself switching perception one second from the other and always having the feeling of something being around the corner and there seems to be nothing which helps with that.

    I read a book about P.A.W.S, I read so many posts of guys recovering from P.A.W.S of different causes (weed, PMO, opiates, alcohol) and the one thing that seems to stick with me is the following. There is nothing you can really do to speed up recovery. Maybe a good diet, sleep routine and low-intensity exercise help to reduce the symptoms but this only makes the path more bearable. For my understanding P.A.W.S is too complex to understand in terms of science. Sure receptors are healing themselves, your brain is producing its own neurotransmitters again, addiction pathways get dried out. All of this doesn't happen isolated but the brain is an interconnected wonder machine which normally lives in balance and homeostasis. P.A.W.S and addiction is destroying this homeostasis and thus it's taking years to find back and while this is happening most of the energy your organism has, is devoted to repairing your brain and many other things are not in priority. If just one neurotransmitter-system like seretonin or dopamine isn't working right then many other things are not working quite right. It doesn't matter if you don't have enough seretonin floating around or if there aren't any receptors to dock on, you never truly feel relaxed and satisfied. You dopamine-system might be in tact for a few weeks and your cognition and motivation is coming back but when a task is down your brain isn't giving you a break. It never truly arrives. Neurotransmitters inhibit and rely each on each other. Combine this temporary malfunction with an overreacting hypothalamus and you switch between FoF, being depressed, having anxiety and so on. I know this is barely any new informations for most of you but I always have the feeling that many of us lose the sight of what is actually is going on. Many of us tend to forget what actually happens while we go through P.A.W.S. I myself often doubt if all of this P.A.W.S shit is really real but then I have this moment where I go from being depressed and disconnected to becoming one with the universe for a few moments and I remember that there is a process going on and no what matter what happens you have to keep that process going which consists of being abstinent. It's plain simple. It doesn't matter if you're addicted to PMO, sex, weed or heroin. Every journey has its own constitution of symptoms and healing duration but all we have to do is depriving the brain from any external stimuli that goes beyond good food and nice tv show. I read so many times in different sources that homeostasis can only be reached by being in strict abstinence and any form of known stimuli will prolong the healing process.

    Another thing that Don tackled several months ago is the fact of being fed up with being in recovery and developing thought patterns that persist over the actual length of P.A.W.S and thus keeping you in a state of misery although you should be healed by now. We should be really careful of that as I think this is the only thing you can truly work against while going through P.A.W.S! Recovery will set in at some point. I'm 100% sure of that although my messed up brain questions this from time to time. We will recover but the one thing we have to do is preparing for the day the symptoms finally subside by that I mean we should do everything to invite recovery in our life. You won't invite recovery by eating junk food, going to sleep at 3am, ruminating about your symptoms and past the whole time. Luck and happiness awaits the one that is prepared for it, as my father always said. Do the best you can to keep an accepting and healthy mindset towards the things happening to you, keep yourself busy and don't spend the whole day in front of your screen. And last but not least I think one thing is really really important throughout the whole recovery process and the preparation for an addiction and symptom free life: meditation.

    I'm meditating since about the first few days of kicking all my addictions back in May 2018 and I contribute a lot to meditation as it helped tremendously to deal with all the emotions and negative thoughts. I still have big troubles of staying concentrated on my breath for more then a few seconds and I often wander around in thoughts a whole session. On some days I don't have any motivation do sit down but eventually I always come back to my routine although it costs me a lot of willpower. Meditation is like cleaning up my room for me. I can't stand an untidy room at this point in my life anymore and every few days I need to put everything back in order. Same goes for my mind. If I don't spend enough time on looking inside then my thoughts and emotions get out of control and a really bad day of P.A.W.S is taking over and pulling me down until I manage to get on my feet again. Meditating is like tiding up your inner world and one day recovery steps into your inner world and if welcomed by a clean and healthy environment it is way more likely to stay and you even recognizing that it just entered the room. If your inner world is full of negative thoughts 24/7 without you being able to break out of the identification with thoughts created by a brain that lack a healthy fundament, then it's really difficult to notice recovery when it steps in. I'm not saying it's impossible to recover without meditating - I'm just saying that recovery is more likely when you meditate as you sooner or later realize that you truly are not your thoughts. They are impermanent, they are switching from second to second and their outlook his highly connected to the amount of active neurotransmitters. We constantly identify with this inner voice and if you go through P.A.W.S this inner voice is mostly negative and full of anxiety and depression and thus you have to do everything to divide yourself from this constant nagging by simply understanding that your true essence of what you are is not the nagging voice or thoughts but the awareness of all things that are able to be experienced, whether it's hearing, touching, tasting etc... thinking and feeling emotions is just one part of this whole experience we call life and if we are not careful we spend a long time being identified with thought patterns that once developed out of emotions in our body and through constant rethinking made themselves guests in your room and making a mess. You need to clean up your inner world and I really believe that this is the only thing that truly helps in speeding up recovery as it's more likely for recovery to enter your life. Don once mad the great analogy with a war veteran having PTSD and returning to a safe life but being unable to shake off his demons - in my understanding meditation helps processing all the things we are going through and keeping the plate clean. I base this on all the information I gathered and many people reported the constant practice of meditation although they had problems sticking with it and making a progress. One recovery story I read inside a book talked about meditation being the final key to his recovery after being into P.A.W.S for about 14-16 months. He might as well healed without meditation but he said that once his symptoms lost their strength and cleared up a bit, his progress went exponentially higher as he integrated meditation into the equation. I don't wanna get you into meditation or frighten you that you can't reach recovery without doing it but instead I'm advocating to find something that gets you off your thoughts which lets you realize that thoughts are only a small part of the whole experience. Try to nap while listening to binaural beats which lets you drift of in an unconscious state. Try to fully go into a flow of playing basketball or football. Just try things intentionally which take away the focus of your thoughts and emotions. Realize that you are no hostage to them. For me this works best by meditating but everyone is different.

    I wanna come to an end and I really have to excuse myself for writing down this immense wall of text but these are only a fraction of my thoughts gathered to the whole recovery process we all have to go through. If you don't feel good yet then you should be happy because that means that you are still in recovery and great things are waiting for you. I just had to write down a lot of things and put them into perspective for myself as it's difficult by sorting them out all on your own. Don't listen to the people trying to bring us down and saying it's all just mental and we should forget about P.A.W.S and everything will be good then. No P.A.W.S is not as easy like that and everyone that goes through it knows that P.A.W.S can only be beaten by time, patience, willpower and consistency and the one that goes all they way reaches an addiction free life with a good working cognition and experiencing life in all its color, vivity and beauty. Through hell and back. Most of you guys are a lot stronger then you think you are. You should only think the best of yourselves - you all are fucking awesome and many people should take an example of you and one day all the hustle will be worth it. You just gotta trust yourself and put trust into the others joining you on this path. I never thought that I was able to withstand the pain and trauma I experienced since the accident of my father happend but I managed to fight against the darkness and so should you. Don't buckle down, don't go down the rabbit hole again you're trying to escape, don't lie to yourself, keep going forward although you seem to make no progress on some days. Fight for your happiness and one day the battle will be over and then you are one strong motherfucker blessed with gratitude for everything you went through.

    I just wish you guys all the best and wanna join you in this fight and hope I didn't upset anyone with this long text. I just had to get things off my mind and thought some of you might be interested in my insight of turning my back onto addiction for about 10 years now.
     
  17. Queek The HeadTakker

    Queek The HeadTakker Fapstronaut

    407
    687
    93
    I pray your dad gets good soon ! Hope so,he is a fighter not giving up! Thats also some motivation for yoj to bet your addiction

    Damn those PAWS sintoms , their not just becauze PMO, but also because cigarretes weed etc...it does very bad to your eyes! Eat carrot it as vitamin that helps the eye!

    It puzzles me how some people have so much those sintoms.....i only had agression and mood swings , nothing more when i did my 90 streak , now im back again and its the same thing , i feel alot of energy never tired
     
    ALPHAandOMEGA likes this.
  18. Did already
     
  19. Queek The HeadTakker

    Queek The HeadTakker Fapstronaut

    407
    687
    93
    What he said?
     
  20. Unable to find answers about the symptoms.
     
    ALPHAandOMEGA likes this.

Share This Page