I hate my self

It is in our human nature to fall and fail. Get up and keep going.

 

You fall down as we all do, but as zombieslayer said above, get up and try again. We only fail when we stop trying.

I am sure you will be a great father. You see what you are doing is not good and want to change. A lot are doing worse and see no problem and even try to justify it. Just keep going for your kid. Good luck.

 

Fatherhood has nothing to do with PMO. You can be a good father regardless of your addictions. Don't let yourself feel conquered by PMO. It doesn't have that kind of control over you.

 

I relapsed twice after 6 months Or so when I thought I had it beat. I’m currently 7 months 8 days free from that relapse. It had been. A struggle for 17 years in my life. I’m also married with 3 kids.

I have learned a lot in my struggle with porn. One, is what triggers me. A lot on the internet and tv triggered me(seeing beautiful women). I believe my last relapse was super bowl halftime show, I didn’t relapse that night, but like a week or two after it, but those images stayed with me and I kept wanting more, even after 6 months.

I also researched And watched videos of the science behind it all and it releases dopamine In your brain and scary how the addiction can become when I thought I could control it.

the ways I feel like I have conquered it for good was that I had my wife put in an adult filter password that I don’t know what it is(it could be a friend if not married). It’s my backup plan when having a bad day and can’t see the adult sites. I also don’t watch shows that could trigger me and try to turn my head if I think a scene is coming. More importantly though, I have really grown in my faith with God. I have listened to so many sermons on temptations and that has helped me tremendously. Rick Warren and Greg Laurie are 2 of my favorites and have helped me a ton!! I learned about all the garbage I was putting in my mind. The analogy was how we have to watch what we eat, we can’t eat McDonald’s fried food every meal without bad consequences, the same thing applies with what you consistently put in your mind. We are trying to undo years and years of bad addictions and it takes time to undo that.
“Above Inspiration” YouTube videos are great too. Give them a listen, it’s usually 10-20 min long.

Hopefully this helps and try and learn as much as possible and avoid whatever gets you tempted and triggered. make it a lifestyle change and don’t beat yourself up if you have a relapse. Just learn from it and keep trying to do better. Porn free radio podcast by Matt Dobschuetz
I also told myself , I would help as many people possible struggling with this as I could once when I got it under control.

We all sin and aren’t perfect. Don’t beat yourself up. You can see my example above and I’m in a great place for these 7 months.