The START 2021 STRONGER Challenge [CLOSED]

Day 12 Check in.

 

Can I still get in?

 

These are the words that I have been contemplating since beginning this challenge. They are wise words. This challenge is for sure the launchpad, but I also know I could complete this challenge with 100+ days but only made that my goal, I will relapse in January, but in reality I would be lucky to get past September, according to my history.

I have made some changes to facilitate change. The motivation from this challenge is also playing a part. I have been in this fight for a very long time and consider this my last chapter. I need to succeed.

Day 3.

 

This makes a lot of sense. I used to do it like this where if I relapsed, I wouldn't really keep track of the exact time so much as the day but I think tracking the exact hour helps me because it reminds me that at some point around 7 am I broke. And every time I make it past 7 am(or in other words getting out of bed without PMO) is already a victory for me. Bed is my biggest and only trigger really as I live with two other people, so if I can wake up without pmo and go to sleep without pmoing to sleep, I'm pretty much good for the day. Today I got out of bed with energy and no urges cause I actually got good sleep for once so, day 3 secure.

 

Thank you @Jefe Rojo. I can relate to what you said. I gave up porn in 2014, I smashed my phone with a hammer and destroyed me tablet by smashing it up with a metal pole. I went for one year without the Internet, got a basic brick phone and and began my recovery. It was an extreme battle but 6 years on and I don't crave pornography anymore, it really doesn't do anything for me. It seems very cheap, tacky and disgusting. Compared to the nofap life porn just doesn't cut it. Like youself I still have fetishs which I want to get rid off. My new drug is going into chatrooms and having sex talk with others who have the same fetish, this has been a problem for about 18 months. I was kidding myself thinking to myself that what I was doing was ok because it was with another human, unlike watching porn. But its just like porn, it effects me in the same way. Like porn it's the searching side that gets me, searching for people to have the same fetish chat with. It needs to stop.

 

Yes - I've put in my journal much the same feeling. "That guy" who is pushing you in front of the bus, or making me grab the phone and search for P - is The Addict in us. The Addict that is in many of us that takes over our logical brain and causes us to act out. I've stood in front of the mirror to look at The Addict and acknowledge his presence that is in fact me. And then I try to use any coping skill I can to not allow my addiction to run my life at that moment. And then prepare for the next moment in the constant struggle.

 

I am in
I have allowed PMO and last to rule over my life but no more.

 

I agree with the adjustment to a strike system vs. day counter. Keeps you accountable even if you relapse. Let's go everyone! We are all capable of achieving this goal.

If I offered you a million bucks to get through today without masturbation and pornography, do you think you could do it? Of course you would. What if I put a gun to your head and said if you watch porn or masturbate in the next 7 days you'll be dead? You'd do whatever it takes! Even as far as cementing your hands and taping your eyes shut if that was necessary.

In reality, breaking this addiction is worth more than a million dollars. It's your happiness, your relationships with loved ones, and finding your true self. If that knowledge isn't enough to beat your most subversive self then let's put a metaphorical gun to our heads. I've been having trouble breaking the 14 day mark so gave myself a major carrot/stick incentive and it has been working.

What is a carrot/stick you can put in place for yourself to ensure that will start 2021 90 days PM free and that much closer to becoming the person you are destined to be.

 

I am pretty stoked about doing this challenge. To be clear, the strikes take precedence over the actual amount of days, correct. I could theoretically relapse for the next 4 days, then stay the course the remainder of the year, collecting 97 days, which is the Platinum tier, but will only qualify for the Bronze tier. Is this correct?

I was also wondering, @BrohkenCompass , if you would consider hosting a "Clean in 2021" Challenge as a way to embed the success that we will gain in this challenge. I have been around a long time and have seen it many times when a "goal" is achieved before the old ways come back as a "reward"

Well, food for thought anyway. Checking in as I begin Day 4...