Sexual imprinting through porn

I hope you can succeed if that is what you want. The psychotherapists I have used do not seem to appreciate that the problems of PMO go beyond an unhealthy puritanical aversion to masturbation and porn. I suppose you need to find one of those rare psychotherapists who understands your issues. Maybe an online therapist? ... I wish I had better advice to offer.

 

Taling he time to find the right therapist would probably help, remembering that all therapists have their own bias and beliefs. So that might take time.

I’ve found that avoiding labels helps a lot. I am who I am and I don’t need a label to define me.

Also try filling your life with good things. I find that pmo is something I use to fill needs in my life (mostly boredom and stress). But there are other things that can fill that.

Personally I have found that the porn I like is not connected to the sex I have with my wife. They are two different things. You may or may not be in a relationship but don’t let your thoughts of what porn you look at make you think you are a certain way outside of that.

Keep coming back to the forum you may find help here. Guaranteed someone here has experienced something similar to you.

 

Unfortunately psychiatry has been long corrupted, the recent DSMs are heavily manipulated for political agendas so it will be a challenge to find the right therapists.
http://chemtrailsgeelong.com/psyfraud.html A long article but if you are interested you can learn more here.

You can try to see if there is an online community that can help. Other than that I heavily encourage you to continue your no PMO journey, it will really help you heal. Sometimes all you need is for nature to take its course, and if you ever relapse try not to escalate and even if possible try to deescalate into softer genres as much as possible. But please always remember that your addictions are hard wired through long years, so it's always easier to escalate and harder to deescalate.

Issues like this in reality are quite complicated, people are usually addicted because they have issues and not the other way round. Sometimes there are even suppressed memories. Problems with the father figure etc.. Earlier in psychology these things would be admitted but recently all this have been accepted for a whole variety of reasons that would take a long time to explain.

This is your journey, and only you can make a difference and you can make it!

 

Hey Ozo, this is normal, and part of the human experience. When we reflect too much on our past self or on a destructive past activity, we give these thoughts way too much power. Once that occurs we become consumed with the “what if?” Of doing the activity again, and that’s when we repeat the activity, to make ourselves feel like we need to embark again on the quest to break the cycle and fix the problem.

Here’s some advice to get you on not overthinking and getting better at not relapsing:

1. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You did what you did, now you are on a different and better path. The past is the past, let it stay there.

2. We humans always end up reflecting on our negative past, so the trick is to do it after a month or 2 of solid progress and for a set time - an hour, a time block, a day. That way you can also reflect on the positive recent past of your accomplishments and reinforce #1.

3. Focus on other goals. You pick - Fitness, programming, being more organized, gardening, whatever you want. Treat these new goals, with the same care and attention as you are doing with no PMO.

 

a actual sex therapist use to be on this site i forgot his name but he highly recommended this site,and encouraged to stick to nofap no matter what

 

Don't worry about it too much. In the end it doesn't really matter. Also, try to not watch porn anymore, ever. If you really need to relapse just masturbate without porn.
Porn is the issue and you need clarity which you can only gain by not watching porn.
If it turns out you were straight all along, whatever. Women experiment and no one cares.

 

It might have something to do with not valuing anyone's opinion about me. No one knows me well enough. Whenever I tried opening up, people either didn't believe me, thought what I'm going through is simple, not even an issue, or plainly didn't understand any of it. Am I suppose to feel bad because of them? I can't even imagine why.
Maybe you are closer to people though so this doesn't really help.

 

I remembered something else that I've been doing for a long time. There are things from my past I don't tell anyone because the more they know about them the less they know me. I have changed a lot so there's no reason for anyone to know how I used to be. I don't see this as hiding my past because I am no longer that person and none of those things are horrible for it to be justified for someone to actually know them.