Being anxious in life due to low self esteem and still a virgin at 31

No worries mate!
Following the current and falling prey into peoples' unrealistic expectations is a trap that has made many great men miserable for years, simply because they were too scared to take the risk and lacked the integrity to follow a bigger path. You win absolutely nothing in life if playing it safe all the time; nothing but boredom, mediocrity, scarcity, envy and bitterness over what could have been.
People try (consciously and unconsciously) make you fall into that "average Joe" or "playing it safe" trap so you will end up being just as mediocre and miserable as them instead of succeeding and winning. Men are risk-takers by nature and won't feel alive unless they take some risks every now and then.

Push forward one little leap at a time and win those little personal battles on a daily basis. That's how you begin climbing the ladder of success in the first place. Focusing on developing skills, making a good living (preferably through multiple sources of income) while finding your path and purpose in life is a recipe for ending up in the top 3-4% of men who live the great lives they actually want to live. It is sad reading that 80% of men these days live such miserable and mediocre lives.
One of my life's purposes is to give men the tools they need to change that and that's what my business-idea is based on. For men who have a burning desire of belonging to that top 3-4% but don't know where to start.

 

You should never feel ashamed of walking that path in life that's right for you!
The people who do nothing but draining you of precious energy, motivation and productive force (by acting passive-aggressively or right out discouraging you), you should really leave behind as they will have a negative impact on your life. Try instead to build up a social circle of great people and even better is it if you can have a group with like-minded men only.
Because, for men in order to flourish, they need to have their own communities and groups with men only (at times) where they can speak and discuss matters freely, without any boundaries. The dynamic will never be the same if one or more women enter that group, hence the importance of male-only communities.

 

Hii
I have read some of the responses on this post, saying being a virgin doesn't matter, keep big goals and so on and so forth. I skipped reading afterwards.
My background.
I am 24 yrs, never went on a date, touched a girl, had a girl consider or like me. I find it extremely depressing that I am virgin and no girl has ever been interested in me in 2 yrs of Highschool, 4 yrs of college and 2 years of masters. I will finish my masters in next 4 5 months.
As for that incident, I liked a girl in first yr engineering. She came to know it, but I hadn't proposed her yet. Get this. She publicly rejected me, infront of my entire department without me even proposing her.
These scars are not easy to heal and hence I can totally relate to you.

As for my anxiety and inability to talk to girls, I am in exactly same position as you are.
These people here don't understand what we guys feel on every birthday, new year's eve, Valentine's day. Saying that being a virgin at 31 doesn't matters etc is easy for those who lost it way before. Its like Bill Gates or Ambani saying money doesn't matter. I can feel bro how depressed you are right now. I have decided that I will get in great shape and try to get a girlfriend before my 24th birthday(7-8 months to go). If thay doesn't happens, I will pay for a nice classy hooker and lose it. I deserve this man. Go out there and get a prostitute. Lose it. World is not very rosy to some nice guys. Unfortunately, those some guys are us.

 

Can you please tell me how you did it?

 

avoid such people. either complain about them or fight them or avoid them.
but dont make the mistake that i did of trying to befriend them.

an advise i wish someone had given me earlier:
--the way my colleagues are bringing me down, if someone behaved in similar manner with my child, would i ask my child to befriend them.

the answer was a clear 'no'.
there's a difference between being friends and friendly with everyone. we dont have to be the former.

not really. we're allowed to look after ourselves. and even if u are looking down at them. its okay. ur not going about defaming them or mocking them on their faces.

if a mosquito is sucking our blood, we kill it or shoo it away or move away.

not being friends with them doesnt mean, fighting with them or being arch rivals.

i wouldnt advise this. you dont want to wreck your life.
sex is an act of affection. make is special. not rosy-eyes. but certainly dont go to the extreme and corrupt yourself.

prostitute is as good as 3d porn. it really wont help you.
years later when you'll think about it and you will... you'll regret that 'i slept with a hooker.'

a friend of mine did that and later he regretted it. surely it didnt ruin his life as such, but he wished he hadnt done that.

its okay to be a virgin at 31. no one really cares. you dont have to tell the world about it. i'm 30. and i'm okay with it.

 

Is it ok to be a virgin at ... year s old?
Is it ok to not have a car at ... years old?
Is it ok not to be paying alimony at ... years old?
Is it ok ...
You can continue and fill gapes
F*ck all these ‘rules’ implied by society. If you live by them at 31 you need to be some mediocre guy with office work you hate, second marriage, paying alimony, PMO twice a week, drinking at weekends, etc.

It is NOT ok not to live your life living by such ‘rules’ and constraints and it is NOT ok if you want smth but don’t do it because of fears (for example you are virgin because you fear rejection).
So work on yourself (not virginity but underlying issues, if there are any, you know better) and do what you want (it is easier said than done), if someone asks say ‘that’s my choice’