I can't go more than 3 days without masturbating.

Well, if it helps you, I was on shoes similar to yours - couldn't go farther than 4 days without masturbating, and even worst, as it usually was to porn. And yet suddenly my last streak was effortlessly (and by that I mean I didn't have to use willpower to not M, it's just that I rarely thought of it) of 9 days. What really worked for me is to completely and absolutely avoid anything that might arouse you. That include thoughts, touching your body parts, looking at women in the streets or at the internet, literally anything. Those small cues that your mind brings up to give you the emotional response to relapsing are really easy to suppress, but emotional cravings (such as anxiously thinking about it) are hard and physical cravings (you touched your tra la la) are just fucking impossible.

Also, try to give yourself an uber reward the longer you stay without masturbating - maybe every day without masturbating is a small chocolate bar, and every day you do masturbate you lose like three chocolate bars or something like that.

I used to feel I was hopeless too, until it just clicked and I got a streak I couldn't believe. Don't give up faith on yourself, because eventually you can do it. And don't put as your goal, "I want to be 100 days free of PMO" or "I want to be successful", put as your goal "I want to get past today without masturbating". Focus on the PROCESS and not the product. The more you focus on the product, the more the process feels an unbearable burden to achieve it, and the less motivated you get. Check GayVee's great video about process vs product:

 

How often during these times do you MO without P?

 

I can relate with you here as I also find it hard to go past 3-4 days without PMO. It's been a struggle especially during this lockdown as I can't go outside as much even when I want to. I try to focus all my energy into positive things that will at least distract myself into doing it such as meditation, reading books and exercise when I can. If you are up for it I can be your accountability partner for this so we can fight this together to motivate ourselves from doing it, that's up to you because I can't seem do this alone with willpower and distracting myself constantly.

 

Oh, I know this! I am on day 10 now and it took me months/years of trying to get here after almost 2 decades of hardcore addiction. I have been through this whole 'I can skip porn, but I can't go more than 3/4 days without masturbation' thing too as one of the last stages before breaking free.

However, there were some things, that I had to learn first. For starters: willpower and good intentions are not enough, not even close in my case. I had to put in some serious work ... and I mean serious. Honestly, this has been the hardest thing I've done in my life and I'm quite an overachiever outside of PMO to be honest. My recent success came after I went deep (!) down the psychological/biological rabbit hole. I've read hundreds if not thousands of pages about how the mind works, days of neuroscience via podcasts etc. etc., finally deconstructing my idea of what the 'self' is. To make things short, it helped me to distance myself from the idea, that I'm/my personality is that constant sequence of thoughts/ideas that pop up in my mind. I'm now able to say: "it's just thoughts, yes, that's a part of me, but then again it's not THE ME; it's something I can fight." Understanding the dopamine cycle was important too. Next up was fighting off behavioral patterns, that were semi-related like the whole click-novelty-reward story. As a result, I completely changed my way of using electronic devices. The final step was to find small but effective ways of conditioning myself. Right now, I have a rubber band around my whist and as soon as my mind drifts towards anything that is porn-related I snap it to feel a little pain - what fires together wires together

And - for now - this has been the final nail in the coffin; at least for me.

good luck, brother. also feel free to message me if you're still looking for an AP

 

I can also relate a lot with your situation. The max I have gone without PMO in these past 5 years is probably a week. And that feels very embarrassing. But what I've learnt is there is nothing shameful about relapsing. What matters is whether you want to try again after relapsing. If you do, then you are in a better position to achieve your goals than you were.

I have tried hundreds of times to give up PMO, but it never worked. Maybe because I kept denying I had a problem. But now that I accept the fact that I do have an issue, I feel in a better position to battle my addiction already. I am also starting my journey and I hope both of us can keep sharing good news throughout this journey. All the best!

 

Same boat brother

 

Stop trying for hard mode. Just MO when it is natural to you. MO without P is 10000% better than PMO.

Once you can do MO without P, you will see that MO is not that interesting. MO is boring and not stimulating after a while.

First step is to learn natural MO pattern.
Second step is to stop MO during hard mode.

99% of guys are relapsing because they are going for hard mode from the very beginning.

 

Thanks will try this.

 

Like alphakadabro said you should just masturbate.
I'm going to be meaner and say that I don't believe that you aren't addicted to porn. If you weren't you would just masturbate instead of PMO. Sounds like you are in denial.
Even if that's not the case make sure you know that any form of porn is still porn, nudes, erotic stories, sexy videos, fantasising about it. As long as you keep using any of this you are addicted to porn.

 

What about sexual fantasies, I find it hard to believe something isn't going on in your head