I'm starting to think the level of pleasure I used to get from PMO was actually seriously abnormal?

I don't know if anyone else feels like this since being on this journey. I have been on the nofap and pornfree journey for abut 2 and a half years. I don't mean I have had a streak this long, but I mean this is how long I have seriously kept trying to change my ways.

But these days when I relapse on porn and artificial sexual stimulation I have to admit, it's usually not that exciting, enjoyable and pleasurable that much at all. Ok sometimes I do still get pleasure from it when I relapse, but usually it is actually much more boring, and even when I do get pleasure from it, it's nothing compared to what it used to be.

Guys I remember when I used to get insane pleasure from PMO. Like I literally can't even explain the level of pleasure I used to feel from this. It was like pure ecstasy.

But now I am starting to think that this level of pleasure I actually used to get from these long edging, binging PMO sessions was actually seriously abnormal pleasure. What I mean by that is in nature no way it would of ever been designed that I would be able to reach this level of pleasure naturally?

Like I don't even know if real sex could ever compete with this level of pleasure that I used to get from these edging and binging PMO sessions that I used to get? Guys out there who have had a lot of sex might be able to answer that?

But do any of you guys know what I am talking about? About this literally off the chart pleasure PMO can cause? I'm not just talking about some pleasure, I am literally meaning like pure unbelievable pleasure, like pure ecstasy. Maybe even something like when a heroin addict shoots up for the first time and they lay down and the look on their face is this extreme pleasure. This is what PMO sometimes used to feel like to me.

Like I said though I don't actually remember the last time I felt anything like that when I have relapsed or even binged on PMO.

But what I am actually beginning to think is that level of pleasure was never actually normal in the first place? It wasn't natural to feel that level of pleasure in the first place? and it certainly wasn't natural to feel that level of pleasure for as long a period of time. So with the edging and binging on PMO literally feeling pleasure like that for 2-5 hours etc before I was actually ejaculating.

It's just crazy when I look back on it.

The worrying thing is though when I actually relapse these days is I actually somewhat want to feel pleasure like that again. But as I said it just isn't anything like what it used to be.

But again it was probably just really abnormal and unnatural in the first place?