Recovery Process: Admitting to Addiction?

This addiction thrives in secrecy. However, many people think it’s normal to do also. So you could come clean to people only to learn they don’t think it’s a big deal. If you have an so, then yes, I think you need to tell them. It’s not fair to be in a relationship with someone that you keep secrets from. However, telling your family may or may not help you.

 

It certainly can't hurt. But given the nature of this addiction, it can potentially compromise your career or relationships if you admit it openly. I think that's one of the greatest things about this community—we can admit our addiction to others without compromising our IRL relationships

 

It's not a requirement, but it's proven that commiting publicly reinforces your commitment. For me the most important commitment is to myself, I don't need the validation from others, but if you have problems to stay commited, you may want to share your problem with others.

Besides, personally I think showing your weaknesses to other people may be detrimental to your reputation. Think about the rehabilitated alcoholic: many will suspect he's still drinking secretly regardless of what he claims. But for those people is quite hard to hide their addiction. Relatives will answer to "I am an alcoholic" with an "oh my God, who would've thought" while being sarcastic inside, with a "don't you say."

 

It really depends on the nature of the society you are living in. I am a married muslim man that lives in the Arab gulf countries. Admitting my addiction to my wife will certainly leads to divorce. I can imagine it’s more easier to admit in the west.

 

The fact that it could lead to a negative outcome isn't your call if their is someone in your life that deserves to know. If you are in a committed relationship it is your responsibility to give your partner enough information (ie. the TRUTH) to make a decision.

I am pretty open about my history, but I do not think it is necessary to tell friends. If you feel like there are people in your life that could be supportive, having a group of people on your side can be really powerful. But I do not think you need to tell for the sake of telling. The exception is a partner. Your partner, if you have one, deserves to know.

When it comes to family I do not think you HAVE to tell them. But you should have people you CAN talk to. I agree that this issue thrives in secrecy.

The only thing to beware of is that some people do not see any issue with PMO. There may be people that even try to convince you it is no big deal, so be careful with someone that you think won't be total supportive of your goals.