HOW DO YOU PROGRAM YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS

This is one of main things I concluded after years of dealing with this addiction. Thank you for sharing!
This also explains why Willpower is not the solution, but other steps as you mentioned. That's why I recommend other members to read rebooting materials constantly to give them awareness and reprogram their subconscious mind.

 

Hey man, I've experienced the same exact pattern you're describing myself many times. Think about it this way: your mind expends a huge amount of energy to initially "get past the urge"; achieving this first step is great, because it proves that you're making legit progress. What happens next, however, is where we often lose the battle; and it's almost always a sneak attack. Because you expended a large amount of mental energy at the beginning, your brain is now depleted in this moment, making you vulnerable. Every human being, including you and I, are so strongly programmed to buy into FOMO, because that's just our natural instinct. So, when your brain is in a low energy state and your subconscious mind throws a little dopamine its way in the form of FOMO, it immediately hones in on the bait (ex: your subconscious says, "It's not too late to jump on that quick high, I can still give you a chemical reward and you'll love it; we both know your mental gas tank is running low, come on and let me fix that for you. I can wake you up with a juicy cocktail of temporary feel-good chemicals").

What I've found to be highly effective in winning this type of battle is deliberately changing my environment and separating myself from the source of addiction (my phone) until I feel 100% mentally back up again. For example, I might get up from my chair, leave my phone in the room or put it somewhere out of sight, then go for a quick walk outside of the room to clear my head. When I need to return, I usually grab my stuff and go to a new place and jump straight into the next activity, full send. No time to linger on the temptation of the past, because I killed that son of a gun and I'm not looking back. Straight ahead is the only direction I'm headed. Hopefully my experience with this challenge will benefit you; I'm rooting for your victory all the way.

 

Repetition is the mother of all learning. I’ve been listening to affirmations repeatedly and building new and better habits over the last few months. I still relapsed, but I’m at a point now where I literally feel no guilt or shame myself and my body automatically goes into “let’s fucking work out” mode to rid itself of the toxic emotions without much of my conscious effort.

i recommend reading the power of the Subconscious mind by Dr. Joseph Murphy. You can find free audio version on YouTube.

 

Also, would say well done for owning up to it, and seeking help. That's a really positive step, and your streak is damn impressive!

 

Training the subconscious is possible. Control what comes in, reframe what comes out. Do not allow yourself to intake anything that dehumanizes or objectifies women. Anything.

When you do have a thought that is sexual, objectifying, or dehumanize you must reframe it. It is not enough to just dismiss it. You must tell yourself the truth. When you have a thought that is dehumanizing to a girl at school say (in your mind), "She is person just like me. She has hopes, dreams, and fears. I hope she has a good day". It is simple but powerful. Take the incorrect thinking and correct it immediately.

If you do not do this you will find lasting recovery very difficult. Changing our behaviors is not enough, we must change how we think.

 

If you gain control over your arousal, you're less likely to enter that, "activated," state. It feels almost like a dissociated state of mind where you are no longer in control of your actions. Effectively, you aren't, because you don't know how to operate within that state of mind in ways that don't end with relapse. By learning to control your arousal, you begin to learn how to operate consciously within that state.

The state itself cannot be removed, so we must learn to operate within it. Often that means first learning to identify when we are even within that state. Practicing the following technique on a daily basis will open you to the identifying that feeling more often. Once you begin identifying that state, use this technique EVERY time, even if it's only for 10 slow, deep breaths to allow the energy to leave your body.

Sexual Energy Manipulation

1. Open yourself to your body, briefly scan it from head to toe.
2. Identify the hot point in your body, usually the penis, sometimes the nipples. Might be different for you so don't close yourself.
3. Begin using your breath to move this "energy" or "heat" around the body
4. With the inhale, imagine that this energy is moving with the breath from that hot point down into one of your feet
5. With the exhale, imagine that this energy and the muscular tension within the leg are moving out of your leg and out your mouth
6. Repeat this with the same leg once more
7. Repeat this 2x with the other leg, your stomach, each side of your chest, each arm, your neck, and your head
8. Then, with each inhale imagine that the energy in the hot point is swelling, and with each exhale that energy exits your mouth
9. Repeat step 8 until you find that the urge to give in has left you

This is a great process for learning to not only manipulate sexual energy, but also to accept and be okay with the sexual energy. As porn addicts we often begin to vilify, demonize, and reject our own arousal and sexuality. This is not the path to healthy sexuality, this is simply the path to another form of sexual pathology. Rather than having a frenetic sexual energy, we instead have a suppressed sexual energy.

The path out of addiction is to learn to love and embrace arousal. Learn how to be okay simply being aroused without needing to act on that arousal. As I said, the process I explained above allows us to take our power back from our arousal. Rather than being at the whim of our arousal, our arousal is at our whim. There are different levels of arousal manipulation, this is the first.

 

Try to be as deceptive as you can with your brain trick it . Change your routine don't surf internet with empty mind stay as far as you can from any kind of material which triggers you weither it be phone computer e.tc when urges come just make yourself busy in any work .Anything but don't sit alone. It hard but you need to take it as a mission we need to feed lies to our mind that yeah we are busy n not gonna follow the signal .Take it as a war n try to win it any how . Means any how !
Good luck bro ! Hope you will find tranquility in your life one day

 

Yes bro i agree with you i said in context of beginners Keeping oneself busy just in that time period when urges come because no one is 24×7 Horny everyone has its own trigger point and particular time slot . In the begging my point of view is just try to cut down off that time slot so that one breaks that habit .

Yeah it could be running away but a person who is indulge in such an act of PMO for years can't just stop it in one day . It just not practical . Practical approach will be a physical change(environmental change) so that you control your body first n by changing those trigger moments into something else.we are not giving that regular dose of dopamine.
Of course it is not a permanent solution but as one's strike builds up one gains confidence after 2 week brain starts thinking rather than finding chances to relapse .So brain takes time till then we need to trick it.....that's just my personal experience thought everyone has different body type and level of addiction too...

 

If you are like me the case may be that you relapse after you conquer urges because you feel good about conquering and you tell yourself “Yeah I have it under control” and you want to celebrate. For me, as I noticed, PMO is not only way of escaping but also celebrating. So what you need to do is find another for you pleasurable way to celebrate your mini sucesses. For me it is going out with friends, having a meal in restaurant, doing some fun activity. It has to be easy and pleasurable so your brain is willing to swap pmo with that.