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Disappointing Relapse

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by backwardsfork, Oct 6, 2020.

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  1. Oct 6, 2020 #1
    backwardsfork

    backwardsfork New Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone,

    A bit sad to be back here, but I had a relapse over the course of this year and recently I think it reached the level at which it was when I first started my reboot in December 2019.

    Dec 2019-Feb 2020 I completed my first reboot, effectively cured my ED, lost my virginity, started bodybuilding, and enjoying my new relationship with sex.

    April 2020, COVID obviously hit, lol. No access to the gym which kept my mind occupied and focussed, no hookups, no dates, no nothing. Loads and loads of excess time and nothing to do, I relapsed.

    Fast forward to this past month, I was JO around twice a day and paying almost $100 a month for online porn again.

    I miss my healthy life, I miss the gym, and I miss feeling better about my mind and body. So upset this happened again.

    Writing this almost as a journal to serve as a wakeup call for myself, tonight I deleted all my porn accounts and did a mass unfollowing of triggers on social media to start fresh.

    I might have even met someone recently too, and I don't want my addiction to get in the way of building a relationship with that person.

    Happy to hear any words of advice or stories, thanks guys.
     
    backwardsfork, Oct 6, 2020
    backwardsfork, Oct 6, 2020
    #1
    dogeatdog and Candun like this.
  2. Oct 7, 2020 #2
    dogeatdog

    dogeatdog Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, writing this to let you know that you aren't alone in this endeavour. Back in February, I had been consistently gymming for around 4 months and I was feeling fuckinf gantastic. Fast forward to now, I haven't been to a gym in like eight months and I've gained a visually noticable amount of weight which isn't good at all. Even though my grades may have dropped, my social life is slowly dissolving because all I do is play video games with my friends online rather than meeting up, and I'm not looking my best, I'm trying to come out of quarantine with at least one positive change in my life. If nothing else, let that one positive change be that you stopped watching porn. This mentality is what really motivated me to try my best to stop watching porn and now I'm on my longest streak. It's a hugely satisfying feeling too to know that you haven't watched porn and JO'd in a time where you're always home alone with nothing to do. You've got this brother.
     
    dogeatdog, Oct 7, 2020
    dogeatdog, Oct 7, 2020
    #2
    Sayonara55, backwardsfork and Candun like this.

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