Should I stop having sex to reebot

Yes.

I'm doing a hard-mode reboot while married, too.

You need to allow your mind to decouple orgasm from porn and cybersex.

Abstaining from all orgasm. Take a break from that dopamine rush in all its forms. Then rebuild from the ground up - with your wife.

Obviously, you'll need go discuss this with her. Share with her why it's important to you and for the long-term health of the relationship.

Every relationship is different. Maybe she's not ready yet. I don't know. You can direct her to the Signifiant Other Support board if she wants to see how other wives, girlfriends (and boyfriends?) handle this sort of thing.

 

I don't think so. It could be porn related, some mental issue or some physical disfunction.

Enjoy the time with your wife away from porn and those cybersex and see what happens.
90 days is an average amount of days... what if you need only 15 days? you are going to avoid your woman for 75 days for no reason.. or what if you need 500 days to recover.. are you going to spend 500 days without touching her?? just have fun with her, connect with her and enjoy pleasure with her and see what happens with time.

 

I think your PE can be related to your old way of dealing with sex as in focusing only on O, not really connecting with the other, fantasizing during sex, etc.. Do you recognize this?

Together with my wife I am changing our whole way of lovemaking. If your wife is ready for it, I can recommend doing this. We do get advice from a sexologist and this helps a lot. It does mean your whole mindset needs to change. The aim is to really connect physically. It becomes more of a game to really feel the other and reacting to that feeling. It is important to allow yourself to fall back in the old patterns, as this comes with learning.

For example this weekend we were really in the flow, connecting while not having intercourse. She touched me and I suddenly felt a self-centered eagerness arise and then O'd. Later I realized this was the old way of dealing with sex. We are learning this new way of having sex by doing. It's one big adventure.