35 and older accountability, Group 2

I had a major fight with my wife yesterday. I felt flooded and shut down. I’ve been trying to avoid PMO and unhealthy eating because they are linked for me and core ways that I avoid uncomfortable experiences and emotions. I went and got fast food. I now need to be careful to not do it again and also not give myself excuse to PMO.

 

me too - big fight with wife. now struggling to stay clean

 

We have to know that big fights are temporary. They are normal part of marriage. I have to handle fights without PMO because the fights will always be there and my only option to get clean is to change how I react.

Stay strong man! Try to soothe yourself in a healthy way if needed.

 

checking in. back to day one. Now, I know I can make it to 10 days no problem if I want. But why does 10-14 days seem to be my peak. It’s like someone on the track team running the mile, and they can get down to 5 minutes flat, but they just cannot seem to get below that (even though they have the potential to).

What is holding me back?

 

Excellent advice. Thanks for the encouragement.

 

There are periods that are difficult for us. We have to know that on those days we have to take extra care to put ourselves in safe and healthy positions.

For me, it used to be day 4, 10, 18, 30, 60. Lately it’s been the weekends so every day 3, every 10.

Today I had a wonderful day with my wife. We fought this week but went out and had some adventures today and really enjoyed our time together. It felt like we were partners.

 

I had some erotic dreams last night. I can feel the temptation and urge in my body today. This feeling will pass. Luckily I won’t be alone much today either.

 

checking in

 

Starting a new yoga routine 12 postures that helps with Transmutation of sexual energy

1 month away from reaching a new milestone - Deeply grateful.

 

Anything you can add to your check in about what is working or not working for you?

 

Day 3

 

I have read the rules and would like to join the group.

 

Day 29 - a calm last night and morning so far. At least for this present moment, my mind seems to be clearing a bit of the PMO storms (by this I mean imagery, memories of P that would present in my mind as objectified parts of women's bodies, which would urge me to look at more of that and then act out). The concept of objectification is significant in my mind, and I'm just thinking through this now. It seems that addressing the root cause of this focus on particular female body parts disconnected from the rest of her overall human being may be helpful. A body part does not exist on its own; it is attached to a person, that person should be respected. Maybe if I can take that P image and immediately relate it to the person overall (not in a sexual way) it might become less of a trigger. Kind of reprogramming my P memories, or even current P-sub images such as in person or other media, to disconnect the previous thought pattern of what would happen in those situations. But, I go back to my IRL situation with an attractive wife who meets my physical ideal and how that ramps up my desire when I look at her. This IRL environment has to be managed so as not to cause the objectification and subsequent behavior pattern. I'm four months into nofap journey and these are the more complex issues I'm facing, that I didn't even know about when I started. Stay strong today everyone.

 

Checking in. Nothing to really add. For the last week have been off course PMO once a day; but I’m back on track now to give it another ago. This time around the main thing I’m adding is getting to bed about 90-2hours sooner.

 

Today is a hard day. I had a fantasy of a colleague in dreams last night. Then I had stressful work calls all day. Resentments at work are difficult to me. I hate losing at work. These days are always difficult because I want to self soothe. But that is not an option and I am accepting that.

 

Weight training is going good. But I’m learning that, to gain muscle, I’m not eating nearly enough. In fact, I might be losing muscle because I’m losing weight. If you haven’t done before, it’s harder than it sounds: gaining weight while eating healthy foods. Any fool can gain weight by eating junk food. But when eating healthy, much harder. But still, a good and fun problem to have. Gotta start stuffing my face; we should all have that problem. Oh wait, we already do, that’s why 75% of the world is fat.

 

I have read the rules and would like to join this group

 

thanks for adding me. I’m 36 and single. Really into sports and weightlifting. Been on the site since Sept. Lost a 27 day no PMO streak this week.

 

About to do a 30-day streak. You can do it.