Quit porn or masturbation?

hey everyone,

I'm new here. I let my porn habbits grow out of control the last 20 years. I'm now in a situation where it controls my motivation and feelings. I don't want this anymore. I'm not even capable anymore of having an orgasm without porn, either by myself or with a girl. I'm so ashamed, I don't even want to be with a girl anymore.

Last Friday was my last fap. I had a busy weekend, so it was easy to go to bed early and not think about it. Now, 4 days later, I'm sitting alone, working from home due to corona. My head is going crazy, can't concentrate, my mind is thinking about porn porn porn.

I saw this documentary about a jazz musician who was fighting his heroine addiction. Somehow I have to think about this a lot, seems like the same fight.

And my balls physically hurt, really, they are painfull. Never had this feeling. Hope this goes away. You guys have this?

I feel I have to stay strong and follow this path. Men have lived without porn for the last thousands of years so I can do this to!

A question, sex and masturbation seem healthy to me. For me just the porn part is problematic. Reading the forum I get the impression some guys are wanting to quit masturbation completely. Why would you do that? And are there examples of guys who haven't masturbated for years, and feel better than before?

 

that's good advice, I'll focus on everything what's happening to me right now, and that's more than enough I can tell you

 

Hey all,

my first week here, my first week without PMO. First days were really hard and painfull. Now I feel actually very good. My mind is less distracted and I slept really good last few nights.

I did have MO the other day. It was good, and I'm not ashamed of it. Today no urge to do MO again. It saves so much energy. Normally I would have these craving sessions, where I search for P for hours a night, and watching the cam girls put on this fake show to earn some money. Now I was really exited after days without O. Within 10 minutes it was done, and it felt really good.

So, my plan is never ever PMO again. MO should be fine like 2 times per week.

And that's just the physical part. A lot happened last week, all the shit came out, and I wanne fix that. I talked to my family about problems I experienced over the last few years, and I applied for a new job. I no longer pretend everything is fine, and than use PMO to feel good.

For to long I have been acting the way I thought others want me to act. Not taking my place. I have to trust more on my own, and learn that I'm important to. I should not always adapt to the wishes of others, others should give me something to. If they don't, perhaps leave them behind, and find people who respect me. But stop the passive waiting, let them hear me. Thats very hard for me.

This will be a long path for me, but I'll fix my shit and no longer deny it.

 

second week no PMO.

it was so hard. Out of habbit I opened some P sites without thinking. When I realised what I was doing quickly closed them again.

So, another week of no PMO, I should be proud but I'm not.

Thats because of my alcohol intake. I'm not a drinker, not at all actually. Normally I have a few drinks in a bar, or at home when a friend comes over. But this week, every night I was drinking, alone. Every bottle of beer, wine and whiskey I have is empty now. Horrible and sad...

I did do shopping today, didn't buy alcohol.

My plan for this week is seek distraction when feel need for P. Do some gaming, maybe sport some extra. Don't know yet.

I'm currious what will happen when I don't sedate my feelings. Just let it all bubble up.

 

hey all, after 4 months I finally managed to live without P. A lot has happened. I had a little mental breakdown. Everything came out, and I cried a lot. There was so much stress in my life, both personal and at work. I ended up quiting my job I didn't like, and now have a better job. And personally, I changed a lot. I had so much going on in my life. I wanted to much, was never satisfied with the things I have. I made to many plans, had to little attention for the people around me.

All the stress I had, PMO in the end was just trying to block the tensions of life and feel a little better. I'm more relaxed now. Very important is be less strict for youself, have less demands, be satisfied with what you accomplish, and most important, do things you can lose yourself into. That means do something which automatically gets your full attention, and your mind doesn't start to think about other stuff.
P is very strong, it gives you the 'losing yourself' moment. Find something you can lose yourself into! Yesterday I just lay on the couch reading a book, I was so relaxed. For years I just couldn't find peace enough to do such a thing.

I also live more healthy, my cooking hasn't changed, but I quit most of the intermediate snacking. And I am more active, I talk walk now almost everyday for 30-60 minutes, just feeling good being outside. And, I go to bed before midnight. No more hour long craving-for-the-perfect-P-clip sessions.

MO is still a thing. I really struggled how to get this to healthy proportions. I now kind of have this 'rule' for myself. I can do MO anytime I want, as long as I can finish just while fantasizing (no P, no images or whatever help), and I have to finish within 10-15 minutes. Otherwise stop, or don't even start (after a while you can really feel when you are exited enough to make this work).

 

hey great to hear from you! hope you're doing well.

thx 4d FPP hint, never thought about it, but it makes sense