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Can PMO fix cuckold problem?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by MecRalf, Oct 7, 2020.

  1. MecRalf

    MecRalf Fapstronaut

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    unfortunately with years of pornography i developed this fetish, but I hate it and I feel so bad every time I consume this type of porn.
     
  2. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Porn induced sexual fetishes can be cured. All you do is stop the behaviour that caused the porn induced fetish. So stop masturbating to this content, stop fantasising about this fetish, stop looking at this content.

    But don't be surprised if you have a slip and end up back on this content. Don't even be surprised if you relapse and end up binging on this content. But the thing is if you do have a slip, or if you do relapse, all you do is get back on the horse and keep trying.

    If you can get a really long streak straight away then great. If you can even quit forever straight away then great. But what usually happens is most guys get streaks followed by slips, followed by binges, then go on to get other streaks, followed by slips, followed by binges.

    But from my own experience what I have found is those slips and binges get less and less.

    The more time you don't engage in this behaviour adds up, all the way to the point the behaviour doesn't really do anything for you anymore.

    But healing could take time, depending on how long you have been engaging in this behaviour that caused this fetish.

    Some guys are more successful at all of this quicker than others. I believe there is two factors as to why some guys might be successful much quicker than other guys. One it depends how deep the addiction has actually got. So one guy might not be anywhere near as addicted as another guy. Two some guys with strong characters, who have a lot of willpower might naturally be more successful quicker.

    In my opinion though, for most guys who have been chronically addicted to all of this stuff for over a decade. It's likely going to take a number of years before guys like this see any real success with nofap and pornfree.

    If you can get really long streaks straight away then yes you will heal much quicker. But how many guys who have been chronically addicted to this for over a decade get really long streaks right away? I doubt many.

    From my own experience I think it could take a lot of guys 2-3 years of trying at this before they have weakened their addiction to such an extent that it is now possible for them to relatively easily get very long streaks, that it is now possible for them to quit this stuff for good.

    You eventually reach a point where all of that stuff doesn't really do anything for you anymore. I'd say these days about 95% of the time all of that stuff doesn't do anything for me anymore. This is completely different to how I used to be.

    The comparison between what I used to be like and what I am like now is basically like I have went from being like a crack addict to it not really doing much for me anymore.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2020
  3. Yes, it can. Talking from experience.

    I thought I'd never be able to escape it & have been trying NoFap for years with many failed attempts, always leading back to that type of P... But now I'm 20+days without PMO (I reset my counter because I watched some P briefly one night without MO) and I have no real interest to watch that type of stuff whatsoever. I feel so much "alpha" now.

    When I was sucked into the fetish, it was easy to see it everywhere. When girls chatted to me, I would make almost make myself feel cucked by what they were saying... But now that I'm PMO free for some time, I see that it was ridiculous. 99% of girls have NO interest in cucking whatsoever.
     
  4. Thank you @skaterdrew for this response. I appreciate your being active in this community.

    Sometimes I wonder if this is a porn induced fetish. I think that most fetishes start because they trigger something that was pre-existing.

    From my experience, the cuckold fetish has gotten a little better, but it can be a real struggle sometimes. Perhaps it doesn't help my recovery one bit that I spent years actively seeking a cuckold relationship.

    There's a girl at work who's very attractive and very flirty. I can't really see in her mind, but I think it's safe to say that she likes attention. Recently, despite her learning that I have a girlfriend, she just happened to bend over a table in front of me in a suggestive manner. I relapsed that night after nearly 90 days :oops:

    And then again. Ugh. I think it is true that most women, maybe even 99% as @got2stop suggests) have no interest in cucking but . . . I think it is also true that well over 10% of women end up having sexual affairs outside of their primary relationship. Just last night, I tossed and turned thinking about how much I would like to date someone like this girl at work. Even if she's a total prude IRL, I would know that she's constantly flirting with other men and therefor creating that uncertainty / insecurity which drives the fantasy.

    I have a wonderful, wonderful and beautiful girlfriend. One who probably has zero interest in cucking me. Hopefully this fetish will "die from neglect". I'm sure it helps enormously that I'm not constantly getting off to cuckold porn anymore . . . but, especially late at night, the fantasies persist. Or, when I get triggered. Just the slightest bit of doubt that my gf isn't getting her sexual needs me, or when I start to wonder what she's up to this evening, or if she mentions some other guy more than once . . . my insecurity brings those fantasies right back, flooding my brain with dopamine and then I start fantasising that she will cuck me :eek:
     
  5. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

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    This is very coincidental because I just made a similar thread about this fetish yesterday because I also struggle with it. One trick that someone told me on my thread that seems to be working is to keep a rubber band on your wrist and every time the cuck fantasy pops into your head, snap your wrist with the rubber band so that your brain begins associating that fetish/fantasy with pain instead of pleasure. I have a persisting fantasy where me and my (imaginary) girlfriend get a suite at a hotel that has a living room separate from the bedroom and for their first round, I would stay in the living room and just listen to them and imagine what they’re doing in there when I hear her moaning, him moaning, and them moaning together. Then afterwards, I would come in the bedroom and watch them for round 2 and then me and her would have sex for round 3. Try the rubber band trick, it already seems to be making a difference for me.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2020
  6. I read about this many years ago but the problem with a P addiction is that it thrives on pain. It births it's pleasure from your pain... That is why you're turned on by cuckolding in the first place, because it's a pain point.

    I admit, after reading the post above by @+TenPercent I do still get those kinda thoughts. But the funniest part is that I could literally have almost any girl I want. I signed onto Tinder 1 week ago and got over 200 matches within a day... Yet here I am a P addict, with cuck thoughts... Haha.

    What I have learned, however, is that women are literally programmed way differently to men. I have found very few women who are genuinely interested in sleeping with multiple guys. Most women are "1 man women" and loathe the thought of having multiple partners.

    You see, as men we are "breeders"... Our cave man duty is to make women pregnant & so we actively seek out partners (and even have an interest in multiple partners). Women, however, do not... Women are "programmed" to be mothering, they just want to find 1 good man who will do the best by them and their children.

    I apologize for not picking the best words, but hopefully you can understand what I'm trying to get across. The problem is that we're putting our "man view" onto women & thinking that they think like us, when in reality they don't.
     
  7. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    It's actually great that you have this insight already. It's almost a cliche here of young virgin/celibate guys saying oh if only I had a girlfriend, if only I wasn't virgin etc. as if that was all it took to cure them of their deep set addiction. It might be a good incentive to get cured, but if you don't do the work on yourself first, and wait for the saviour woman to come along first, it'll be too late.

    And the addiction can affect anyone - handsome, ugly, thin, fat, rich and famous or broke and friendless. It's really nothing to do with it, and it can be a distraction - if only I was rich, if only I was attractive to women, if only I was slim or muscular etc. P addiction will still be there.
     
    got2stop and Comfortablydumb96 like this.
  8. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

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    That could explain part of it, and I’ve also heard that some guys are into it because it can be seen as a form of masochism, which goes along with the pleasure from pain thing. I’ve never used Tinder or any other dating app, actually I’m 27 and I’ve never even been in a relationship. So I’ve been hoping that this only interests me because I’ve never experienced the emotional and physical connection that comes with a relationship and once I do, I’ll have no interest in watching her with other guys.

    I agree that the majority of women don’t want this type of relationship, I’d say that 85-90% of them don’t want a relationship like that, so that would mean only 10-15% would go for a cuckold relationship. I also noticed in +Tenpercent’s post that he said he spent years actively looking for a cuck relationship and alluded that he was ultimately unsuccessful in finding one, which shows how few women are interested in it because of the reasons you mentioned. I think us PMO addicts get into this because we get too accustomed to getting aroused and reaching orgasm in 3rd person since PMO is a 3rd person perspective activity, it becomes our preferred method and we’ll take up this fetish to utilize this method in a real life relationship.
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  9. Here's the funny thing. Same. I'm 28, but it's been 7 years since my last relationship... Maybe that actually does have something to do with it.

    And the sad part is that I actually have girls texting me actively trying to get into a relationship, but being stuck in the PMO cycle always leads to me fucking them off one way or another. It's crazy to think I turn to P over real women that I could so easily go out & meet, but hey-ho... That's the addiction for ya.

    Also, on the last point. I'll tell you that I used to also actively seek the cuck relationship on dating apps... I was NEVER successful at finding anyone who had any remote interest in it whatsoever... The thought of sharing themselves with another man literally disgusted the women.

    And to be honestly, rightly so. It should disgust them! It should disgust us, too.

    I wish there was just some way you could turn it into a disgusting thought, to be "ewed" by it the moment you thought of it.
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  10. Having been cuckolded in several relationships and having been rather obsessed with cuckolding for many years, perhaps I might share my views on this topic.

    I think it is true that most women are seeking a monogamous relationship as they are culturally conditioned to do so. As far as instincts, I believe that women (and men) are wired for both monogamous pair bonding and promiscuity. This is why most women might balk at the idea of a cuckold lifestyle even though most have been at least tempted to have a sexual encounter with another man at some point in their committed relationship. Some statistics that I have seen were that 10% of children born are not the offspring of the man listed on the birth certificate and 40% of married women have had a sexual affair at some point in their relationship. There's a reason why paternity tests are a thing . . .

    Men certainly do get cuckolded, but rarely is the reality anything like the fetish. For starters, most are unaware and the fetish usually involves full awareness. In my experience, the fetish is what I turned to after the discovery to cope with the feelings.

    For the single guys, I would say that maybe 1% of available single women would consider the cuckold lifestyle if you introduced the idea at the beginning. There are women who identify as polyamorous but they are rarely if ever single. I poured an enormous amount of time and energy into classifieds and dating sites and experienced a 99% failure rate. The few women that I did meet, didn't work out. As much as this fetish might make you think that it will bring you endless arousal and happiness, its probably not the best way to start a relationship.
     
    ontheroadat40 likes this.
  11. I actually tried to think back to my earliest experience with it, and funnily enough, my first ever memory was shortly after being cheated on when I was much younger. Maybe that is actually where is then stemmed from... Because it was after then that I got into more cuck-style P (not actual cuck P in which there was a guy was watching in the video) but more the type of P that led me down that path... Such as more dominant women, etc.
     
    +TenPercent likes this.

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