Prude

I don't know how to. But I've been listening to the book "The Body Keeps the Score" which is all about trauma and often the trauma involves terrible sexual crimes and I'm just now getting to the solutions part. But one thing is to talk about it. Find a group of people who have also been traumatized and begin to find healing by talking about your story with them. It helps to find people who struggle with the same thing you struggle with to hear their stories and find out what works for them. I'll come back here as I listen to the book more, if there's anything else that seems relevant.

 

I feel as though the first step is to heal your mind, then the rest will fall into place accordingly.
In order to heal your mind though, you've got to figure out what led up to where you're at. If your SO was a porn addict, that could be a major contributor, but could also be the absolute breaking point from everything else you've been through in life. I was looking into some of the research behind betrayal trauma, and most of the women have had some type of trauma occur long before the relationship with their SO that was unaddressed or unnoticed. Then, after finding out about their SO's addiction, it just piled on 10 fold.

My advise would be to find a therapist that specializes in trauma and see about finding group therapy from there. I think that would help you so much.

 

definitely a strong mental component. Exploring your sexuality and trying new things might help. Baby steps. Think of something you’d like to try and work up to it.

Also thinking about why you may not want to something less prudish. How does that particular thing make you feel? Why? Is there a previous experience related? Etc.

 

Also consider there is nothing wrong with being a "prude". There is no specific amount of sexuality or sexual obsession that is normal. It's OK to not want to have sex, or try new things, etc.

If this is something you really really want for yourself (not for someone else) - maybe start with yourself. Start with masturbation and toys, find what your body likes and doesn't like, and find enjoyment there.