Despite consequences

I think that your solution lies with you reaching out to your wife.

Your wife is not into your fetish... Can you think of something that your wife likes but you don't? If not, ask her You could have one night a week/month where you both fulfil each others need.

 

Hello Markguy.
I´m also facing similar challenges. I also was very much into fetish chats and fetichism.I also can relate that preferences to a very young age. But I think that what we are facing here has more to do with porn, plain and simple, than with the fetish issue. I mean, one thing is for a person to have his/her personal tastes in sex, and other is to be seeking to fulfill those tastes in a non-stop basis, and messing with the other areas of his life.

I think that once the addiction has been dealt with, you will be able to handle your personal sexual tastes in a diferent manner. Like geting in agreement with your wife...Or realizing that, now that you have a diferent brain, those needs may not be so urgent. And not to invest in them some sense of personal identity. You know what I mean? Like thinking "o, I have always liked this since I was a kid, so this is me"...We can change, because our preferences, the things that give us pleasure, are not our identity. They are our brain asking "give more of that!". But we can choose wether that is good for us or not.

That is my opinion,based on what I have lived. I had to deal with a cocaine addiction years ago. I used the AA/NA moto: just for today, no. It took months, and many relapses, but in the end it worked. That is what I´m trying to practice again, fully hoping to overcome this situation too.

Since english is not my first language, I don´t know how to write it, but I´m looking forward for your success, and for the well being of your family.

 

This is great advice @Fawcett