Catholic / Orthodox Fapstronauts

I'm thinking about getting a flip phone too. Just for work, family, & school.

 

My Idea was to use this technology for good stuff, like this forum. In particular a tool, which ia often use to serve the devil.

 

Hi I’m Catholic! Male, 27, in a serious relationship and will probably marry my wonderful SO of 3.5 years in the next couple years. She is a missionary and we met in a university church group.

I’m trying to kick my 15+ years of habitual PMO. Leaning on St. Joseph as my model.

God bless all

 

Hello 33 year old married catholic. I have been addicted to pmo since I was 12 years old. I didnt know i was addicted and that it was a mortal sin until I became catholic. I am a convert and my wife is a cradle catholic. Sometimes I do well and sometimes I struggle. I feel I do better when im praying and when I'm engaging in the faith.

 

So how does one determine whether he is fully culpable? How do you weigh the influence of addiction and its effect on will?

 

If anyone is looking for a one-on-one talk/venting out, I’m open. I’ll do my best to support you through your problems while also fully respecting your opinions, as I’ll share mine in order to help you. We’re all in this together my guys, in order to achieve success!

 

Yesterday I started recording the songs the Lord has given me once again. Please pray for me that I will not procrastinate in doing this. It is one sin (the sin of omission - not doing what I'm called to do) that I have a hard time overcoming. But, He who is within us is stronger than he who is in the world.(1Jn 4:4). And one day I will stop omitting anything I need to be doing.

It has taken over 60 years before I came to the place 21 days ago where the grace of the Lord became stronger in me than the urge to pmo. I do not say that God neglected to give me the grace necessary to overcome pmo before. We never have to sin, even though sometimes it seems like it takes a super human effort to remain faithful. I realized a number of years ago that I would not die if I didn't pmo. It was proof enough for me that if I stood fast, determined to do God's will, I would not give in to pmo. The Lord gave me this realization and that it was not He who was to blame for my continued disobedience. The enemy took hold of this and continued in his agitated voice with his accusations that God can't forgive you, If you know you don't have to do it and still do it you're a tremendously bad sinner. You know that God is very disappointed in you. It's been many decades since you began this horrible practice. How much longer will you put yourself through your ridiculous attempts to stop it? Give in to the truth that you will never conquer this sin and go ahead and at least get some pleasure from it.

The calm voice of Holy Spirit has always countered those accusations saying there is nothing I can do bad that is bigger than God is good. No sin will ever make Him quit on me. "...if we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself." (2Tim 2:13) And what is it about Himself that He cannot deny? He is never anything but Love and mercy. To be sure He is just, but His mercy outweighs His justice that is why "...God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us." (Rom 5:8) He didn't just come down from heaven exasperated that He had to die in order for us to obedient once again. For "...though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself..." He continues to empty himself for eternity because "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." (Heb 13:8) His mercy will always outweigh his justice. He calls out to us in the midst of our sins "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." (Matt 11:28-29)

Just what is His yoke? His yoke is Love and mercy. If we love others as He has loved us and are merciful to others as He is to us (cf. Jn 13:34) then we are obeying a much bigger command than the one to not lust. We will be judged not by whether or not we lusted in this life. We will be judged by what we did or did not do to others. (cf. Matt 25:31-45) When we lust and give in to the urge to pmo we don't love others as He has loved us, we selfishly love ourselves. And so, Holy Spirit told me to love others as Jesus loves me, to have mercy on others as He has mercy on me and to trust that the difficulty in giving up pmo would be removed in His time. His time was 21 days ago and will continue until the end of my life.

I have trusted Him for decades and tried my best to have the same attitude as Jesus. (cf. Phil 2:5-7) I have listened to the voice of Holy Spirit not the voice of Satan. Whenever the devil told me my sin was too terrible, Holy Spirit told me to just love as Jesus loves and it will be taken care of. He didn't mean to keep on sinning. He means my sinning will quit in His time due to the grace that comes from loving as He loves. And so it has even though I have not finished growing in my love for others. All praise, honor and glory be to Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit!

 

What I read about the Catholic teaching of grace is: 1. God gives everyone the sufficient grace not to sin ( in our case pmo), but this sufficient grace is not a direct grace that I can use with my will effort in order not to pmo.
This sufficient grace is mostly only a potential which I must use to get from God so called efficient grace ( effective grace).
The efficient grace is to receive by prayer mostly.
So, God gives everyone the sufficient grace to pray but if one doesn't pray ( in our case at the time of temptation) but tries to overcome a stronger temptation with their own will then they have to sin ( here pmo) sooner or later.
God rarely Gives someone an efficient grace ready to use. He mostly gives that sufficient grace which enables us to ask God for efficient grace which we can use directly with our will to avoid pmo.
So, without prayer we have to sin ( pmo including ).
Jesus said ,, without Me you can do nothing''
This, Catholic church always has interpreted - without Jesus ( grace from Him given in Sacraments and prayer) you can do nothing good ( here goodness is avoiding pmo).

Concluding - we have to sin if we neglect prayer because prayer gives grace and without grace we can do nothing good.

 

Hi Allan. If I'm interpreting the Catechism correctly addiction reduces your culpability. How much I don't know, but even though it's a serious sin I don't think it's mortal for someone with an addiction.

 

I am going to translate and post a section from a book in English. Something every day. There are two orthodoxy monks fighting for purity.

FROM THE BOOK "MONAH KALIST" an autobiography.

A treatise between young Dobrivoje (mid twenties) who wanted to become Monah
and Vladika Nikolaj (mid forties) the author of prayers by the lake

Dobrivoj tells his experiences:

........ I heard him without a word, with pleasure and from the heart.
During the day, I packed up the spiritual books, addressed them and forwarded them to the post office.
In the evening, in his room, in his presence, I read the psalms and prayers, and only later did I go to bed.
He kept working. The light in his room was on for a long time at night.
And when I got up early, I saw the light again and heard his footsteps and coughing.
To me inexperienced, he was a strange, incredible person.
He looked at the man with his head bowed a little; his eyes penetrated into the soul.
We were all aware, indiscriminately, that he knew our thoughts before he heard the answer to the question posed.
I was with him every day and saw that he really knew from his room what was going on in the monastery, in the city and far beyond.
Although he hid his clairvoyance, I convinced myself in it through the many events that I saw with my eyes.
I thought about this ability of his and asked myself, "How can he know what's going on out there and I don't?
How does he know what I'm thinking and I don't know what he's thinking? "

I watched him, and followed his every step and movement with the intention that I see and understand what kind of person he is.
I wanted to be just like him, but I didn't know how to do it.
I thought that he knew a secret way to reach the spiritual depths and that he was hiding it from us.
I knew what he eats, how he prays, where he sleeps, but I didn't know what he does at night when he is alone in his room.

I noticed that a board was crumbling on his door and a knot was falling off and was ready to fall off.
An idea occurred to me: I'll see what he's doing at night!
Tomorrow Vladika went to work in the city; I took out the knot and cleaned it carefully; from the outside I attached a small nail and put it back in its place on the board; it was good at it and it was easy to get out of it.
That day I did everyday work, in the evening when Nikolaj returned I read the psalms and we prayed.
Then I went to my room, undressed and went to bed.
When the lights in the corridors were out, I pulled out of bed and carefully on my toes I approached Nikolaj's door. I crouched down and carefully pulled out the knot; through the opening a thin beam of light streamed into the corridor.
But I got confused; the nail was probably too small, so I couldn't get a good grip on it;
I let it out of my fingers and knot is boasted on the ground.
The door was opened.
Before I knew it, Nikolaj's tall head was already standing
about me.
I jumped off and ran down the stairs.
He recognized me. He yelled after me, shouted that I would return and promised me that he would not harm me. But I couldn't go back. I was ashamed. I'm afraid he won't hit me in his anger, I knew he was hot-tempered.
I couldn't look him in the eye.
I spent the night in the yard. The next day I hid from him again;
I didn't dare go into the building. The next night I hid well in a corner
from monastery and fell asleep there. Around midnight someone grabbed my hair.

In the dark I didn't see who it was; only when I heard the voice did I know - Nikolaj.
“Do not be afraid Dobrivoje. Go to your room and sleep, ”he said.
He led me into the room, waited until I went to bed, covered me like a little child, and only then did he leave. I was confused and amazed that he didn't say anything bad to me.
Tomorrow morning, he called me and told me to bring a bed out of the shed and into his room. First of all, I washed it very well.
While I was assembling the bed he called the cook and informed him:
"Filip, from now until you are free as long as I don't call you again. Your wages stay the same as you worked. "
He sent the cook away and when we were left alone said to me:
“You want to become a Monah, Dobrivoje.
If you are a man, prepare for the feat!
-Here I am Vladiko. I went through the war, hunger; I took care of the insane
tolerated the yellow devil (an evil monach), and I will also manage this endeavor that you are talking about, ”I said.
“It is easy Dobrivoje to fight against the people and tolerate if need be.
Well now you're going to mess with yourself; you will test and harden your will.
Remember: billions of people tremble in front of his body, pamper him, and submit to him. Prepare yourself!
-I am here. Give orders! "

At the time I thought that there was no effort that I couldn't take.
I was young, strong, hardened, confident, and a little proud to experience something unknown and great and to prove myself to Vladika Nikolaj.

From early in the morning the Vladika forbade me to drink the water and to eat anything.
That day we packed up the books and mailed them, and in the evening we prayed to God.
First we sang to the Lord, and at the end we kneeled to pray. In the room we had a clock that chimed every quarter of an hour
For two full hours we prayed on our knees in front of the IKona on the ancient carpet.
He drew his leg in neatly so that kneeling didn't bother him; he didn't move.
On the contrary to him, my knees hurt, so I had to lean on my hands,
crouch, turn from one side to the other.

Since I was behind him, he didn't see what I was doing. Then we got up and prayed for two hours
standing, noiseless. “Pray in your mind, don't move your tongue.
God knows our thoughts. There is no value in fasting without prayer; it might even be for us
be harmful, ”he told me.
We didn't taste the bread and water all day and the next night.
We continued like this the next day.
I suffered from hunger and thirst; worked, prayed and kept silent.


The third day was very difficult for me. Because I was used to hunger, I took it easier
however, thirst tormented me greatly.
My consciousness clouded over from time to time, I felt the pain in my stomach.
In the evening I couldn't keep praying long, so I went to bed earlier;
Nikolaj was left alone to pray. Tomorrow morning when I wake up, I found him still praying.

God only knows if and for how long this person grinded.
Fourth day my body burned as if it were on fire; I felt fire in me.
In particular, my healed wounds hurt me.
I had large bruises around the wounds on my legs, hands, and breasts;
they were uncomfortable to look at.
And something happened to those bruises.
My back and head ached, my stomach was tormented all the time, my heart was agitated.
I often went to the window to breathe in the fresh air; I drank it like cold well water.

On the fifth day I started to stink. My lips were stuck together, they were salty, and there was a large amount of mucus on my tongue, which resembled the pus that I often spat out.
On the seventh day, I experienced transformation; the redness came back in the cheek, the pain
almost stopped. However, I was nervous and couldn't sleep; I was trembling, I was extremely thirsty. It was then that I felt for the first time that I was unable to keep fighting.
I encouraged myself with various thoughts, boasted, defied, but did not help myself.
In the end, I decided to pack up my things and run away from Nikolai.
I lied to him to go outside because of me.
As soon as I stepped through the door, I stormed into my room and quickly packed up the things.
When I turned to go outside, I saw him standing by the open door.
He grabbed my shoulders, turned me, and told me to unpack.
I was confused, didn't know what to do and how to get rid of it.
I humbly asked him to let me go or allow me to drink and eat, but he clearly wasn't listening to me. When I realized that I had nowhere to go, tears stung my eyes and I almost began to cry. He didn't care, he grabbed my ear like an elementary school student and took me into the room.
"You wimp! Are you the one who wants to become a monah?
You are full of dirt in your body and blood, with that you want to become something big, to become the light! Don't you feel how filth burns inside you and how you smell?
If you want the good for yourself and if you enjoy the kingdom of God in this life on earth
want to experience, then sit down, do your work and pray as I tell you. "

He doesn't even allow me to go out until the eleventh day. Then I made up my mind
to flee again. I had made up my mind to fly out of the room and run away.
But when I tried that, Nikolaj stopped me again at the doorstep ......
I complained with all my voice aching; I was trembling from the plague. I asked him like my own
Dad let go of me. I told him that hunger and thirst would make my bowels stick together and that I would surely die ...
Neither lamentation nor supplication helped me. A little later he gave me a glass and fell in love with it
rinse off and bring him water. I grabbed the glass and ran to the fountain as quickly as possible,
opened the tap completely, put my mouth down and swallowed as much water as I could. Then I rinsed the glass, filled it with water and brought it into the room.
Vladika wants me: “Have you drunk enough? - Yes, overexposers.
- Well, if you do. And now I'm going to ask you something.
Think carefully about what you will answer me
you don't have to answer it right away, you can in an hour.
Tell me: why do you want to spy on me? If you tell me the truth, you will be mine
Be a student. But if you lie, I'll chase you away!

- I don't need to think too much Vladiko, what I would tell you later,
I can tell you right away. I wanted to see what Vladika does when he's alone in the room.
-Well boy, you've been in the room with me the last few days and you've probably seen what I'm doing. You also have no more reason to peek through the hole in the door. "

I asked him to let me live like the other Monahs do;
I thought I really can't go without eating and drinking anymore.
I went to wars, went hungry, wandered through many countries and saw many miracles, but
it felt like it was beyond my strength. But he can't get rid of me.

He said, “When your consciousness becomes cloudy, I will give you some water.
If you drink a little water every hour or two, your dizziness
will stop. "

Below didn't even look at the bottle; he did not take a drop of water!
You couldn't tell if he was suffering; he prayed every day as he did on the first day.
I tried as hard as I could, but my prayer was weak because I was thinking
constantly whether I would still be alive the next day and how I can fly away from him.
Since he knew what I was up to, he always prevented it.

During the day he stayed next to the door, and at night he lay his bed across the door
that I don't run away while he sleeps.
We received the mail through the window, and we sent it the same way.
I can last five days without food with a little water.
We starved for a total of 16 days.
Seventh day we heard engines and through the window we saw cars.
Vladika Nikolaj said to me: “The guests come to us Dobrivoje. Be happy.
If it did not exist, we would continue like this for a full thirty days. "
He went out of the room, washed his face, put on party suits and waited for the guests.


END

 

I am going to translate and post a section from a book in English. Something every day. There are two orthodoxy monks fighting for purity.

FROM THE BOOK "MONAH KALIST" an autobiography.

A treatise between young Dobrivoje (mid twenties) who wanted to become Monah
and Vladika Nikolaj (mid forties) the author of prayers by the lake

Dobrivoj tells his experiences:

........ I heard him without a word, with pleasure and from the heart.
During the day, I packed up the spiritual books, addressed them and forwarded them to the post office.
In the evening, in his room, in his presence, I read the psalms and prayers, and only later did I go to bed.
He kept working. The light in his room was on for a long time at night.
And when I got up early, I saw the light again and heard his footsteps and coughing.
To me inexperienced, he was a strange, incredible person.
He looked at the man with his head bowed a little; his eyes penetrated into the soul.
We were all aware, indiscriminately, that he knew our thoughts before he heard the answer to the question posed.
I was with him every day and saw that he really knew from his room what was going on in the monastery, in the city and far beyond.
Although he hid his clairvoyance, I convinced myself in it through the many events that I saw with my eyes.
I thought about this ability of his and asked myself, "How can he know what's going on out there and I don't?
How does he know what I'm thinking and I don't know what he's thinking? "

I watched him, and followed his every step and movement with the intention that I see and understand what kind of person he is.
I wanted to be just like him, but I didn't know how to do it.
I thought that he knew a secret way to reach the spiritual depths and that he was hiding it from us.
I knew what he eats, how he prays, where he sleeps, but I didn't know what he does at night when he is alone in his room.

I noticed that a board was crumbling on his door and a knot was falling off and was ready to fall off.
An idea occurred to me: I'll see what he's doing at night!
Tomorrow Vladika went to work in the city; I took out the knot and cleaned it carefully; from the outside I attached a small nail and put it back in its place on the board; it was good at it and it was easy to get out of it.
That day I did everyday work, in the evening when Nikolaj returned I read the psalms and we prayed.
Then I went to my room, undressed and went to bed.
When the lights in the corridors were out, I pulled out of bed and carefully on my toes I approached Nikolaj's door. I crouched down and carefully pulled out the knot; through the opening a thin beam of light streamed into the corridor.
But I got confused; the nail was probably too small, so I couldn't get a good grip on it;
I let it out of my fingers and knot is boasted on the ground.
The door was opened.

Before I knew it, Nikolaj's tall head was already standing
about me.
I jumped off and ran down the stairs.
He recognized me. He yelled after me, shouted that I would return and promised me that he would not harm me. But I couldn't go back. I was ashamed. I'm afraid he won't hit me in his anger, I knew he was hot-tempered.
I couldn't look him in the eye.
I spent the night in the yard. The next day I hid from him again;
I didn't dare go into the building. The next night I hid well in a corner
from monastery and fell asleep there. Around midnight someone grabbed my hair.

In the dark I didn't see who it was; only when I heard the voice did I know - Nikolaj.
“Do not be afraid Dobrivoje. Go to your room and sleep, ”he said.
He led me into the room, waited until I went to bed, covered me like a little child, and only then did he leave. I was confused and amazed that he didn't say anything bad to me.
Tomorrow morning, he called me and told me to bring a bed out of the shed and into his room. First of all, I washed it very well.
While I was assembling the bed he called the cook and informed him:
"Filip, from now until you are free as long as I don't call you again. Your wages stay the same as you worked. "
He sent the cook away and when we were left alone said to me:
“You want to become a Monah, Dobrivoje.
If you are a man, prepare for the feat!
-Here I am Vladiko. I went through the war, hunger; I took care of the insane
tolerated the yellow devil (an evil monach), and I will also manage this endeavor that you are talking about, ”I said.
“It is easy Dobrivoje to fight against the people and tolerate if need be.
Well now you're going to mess with yourself; you will test and harden your will.
Remember: billions of people tremble in front of his body, pamper him, and submit to him. Prepare yourself!
-I am here. Give orders! "

At the time I thought that there was no effort that I couldn't take.
I was young, strong, hardened, confident, and a little proud to experience something unknown and great and to prove myself to Vladika Nikolaj.

From early in the morning the Vladika forbade me to drink the water and to eat anything.
That day we packed up the books and mailed them, and in the evening we prayed to God.
First we sang to the Lord, and at the end we kneeled to pray. In the room we had a clock that chimed every quarter of an hour
For two full hours we prayed on our knees in front of the IKona on the ancient carpet.
He drew his leg in neatly so that kneeling didn't bother him; he didn't move.
On the contrary to him, my knees hurt, so I had to lean on my hands,
crouch, turn from one side to the other.

Since I was behind him, he didn't see what I was doing. Then we got up and prayed for two hours
standing, noiseless. “Pray in your mind, don't move your tongue.
God knows our thoughts. There is no value in fasting without prayer; it might even be for us
be harmful, ”he told me.
We didn't taste the bread and water all day and the next night.
We continued like this the next day.
I suffered from hunger and thirst; worked, prayed and kept silent.

The third day was very difficult for me. Because I was used to hunger, I took it easier
however, thirst tormented me greatly.
My consciousness clouded over from time to time, I felt the pain in my stomach.
In the evening I couldn't keep praying long, so I went to bed earlier;
Nikolaj was left alone to pray. Tomorrow morning when I wake up, I found him still praying.

God only knows if and for how long this person grinded.
Fourth day my body burned as if it were on fire; I felt fire in me.
In particular, my healed wounds hurt me.
I had large bruises around the wounds on my legs, hands, and breasts;
they were uncomfortable to look at.
And something happened to those bruises.
My back and head ached, my stomach was tormented all the time, my heart was agitated.
I often went to the window to breathe in the fresh air; I drank it like cold well water.

On the fifth day I started to stink. My lips were stuck together, they were salty, and there was a large amount of mucus on my tongue, which resembled the pus that I often spat out.
On the seventh day, I experienced transformation; the redness came back in the cheek, the pain
almost stopped. However, I was nervous and couldn't sleep; I was trembling, I was extremely thirsty. It was then that I felt for the first time that I was unable to keep fighting.
I encouraged myself with various thoughts, boasted, defied, but did not help myself.
In the end, I decided to pack up my things and run away from Nikolai.
I lied to him to go outside because of me.
As soon as I stepped through the door, I stormed into my room and quickly packed up the things.
When I turned to go outside, I saw him standing by the open door.
He grabbed my shoulders, turned me, and told me to unpack.
I was confused, didn't know what to do and how to get rid of it.
I humbly asked him to let me go or allow me to drink and eat, but he clearly wasn't listening to me. When I realized that I had nowhere to go, tears stung my eyes and I almost began to cry. He didn't care, he grabbed my ear like an elementary school student and took me into the room.
"You wimp! Are you the one who wants to become a monah?
You are full of dirt in your body and blood, with that you want to become something big, to become the light! Don't you feel how filth burns inside you and how you smell?
If you want the good for yourself and if you enjoy the kingdom of God in this life on earth
want to experience, then sit down, do your work and pray as I tell you. "

He doesn't even allow me to go out until the eleventh day. Then I made up my mind
to flee again. I had made up my mind to fly out of the room and run away.
But when I tried that, Nikolaj stopped me again at the doorstep ......
I complained with all my voice aching; I was trembling from the plague. I asked him like my own
Dad let go of me. I told him that hunger and thirst would make my bowels stick together and that I would surely die ...
Neither lamentation nor supplication helped me. A little later he gave me a glass and fell in love with it
rinse off and bring him water. I grabbed the glass and ran to the fountain as quickly as possible,
opened the tap completely, put my mouth down and swallowed as much water as I could. Then I rinsed the glass, filled it with water and brought it into the room.
Vladika wants me: “Have you drunk enough? - Yes, overexposers.
- Well, if you do. And now I'm going to ask you something.
Think carefully about what you will answer me
you don't have to answer it right away, you can in an hour.
Tell me: why do you want to spy on me? If you tell me the truth, you will be mine
Be a student. But if you lie, I'll chase you away!

- I don't need to think too much Vladiko, what I would tell you later,
I can tell you right away. I wanted to see what Vladika does when he's alone in the room.
-Well boy, you've been in the room with me the last few days and you've probably seen what I'm doing. You also have no more reason to peek through the hole in the door. "

I asked him to let me live like the other Monahs do;
I thought I really can't go without eating and drinking anymore.
I went to wars, went hungry, wandered through many countries and saw many miracles, but
it felt like it was beyond my strength. But he can't get rid of me.

He said, “When your consciousness becomes cloudy, I will give you some water.
If you drink a little water every hour or two, your dizziness
will stop. "

Below didn't even look at the bottle; he did not take a drop of water!
You couldn't tell if he was suffering; he prayed every day as he did on the first day.
I tried as hard as I could, but my prayer was weak because I was thinking
constantly whether I would still be alive the next day and how I can fly away from him.
Since he knew what I was up to, he always prevented it.

During the day he stayed next to the door, and at night he lay his bed across the door
that I don't run away while he sleeps.
We received the mail through the window, and we sent it the same way.
I can last five days without food with a little water.
We starved for a total of 16 days.
Seventh day we heard engines and through the window we saw cars.
Vladika Nikolaj said to me: “The guests come to us Dobrivoje. Be happy.
If it did not exist, we would continue like this for a full thirty days. "
He went out of the room, washed his face, put on party suits and waited for the guests.

END