When do you feel the strongest urges?

The longest I went without MO is 1.7 year. There was no urge—absolutely no urge. This sounds hard to believe. Even when I saw beautiful women on the street, I didn’t get excited or stimulated in anyway. It’s as if I reached monk or God mode. But I fell back into MO due to intense spiritual stress, and have been fighting MO since then.

For me, strongest urge can come around 18 days in. 18-21 days that’s where the battle rages, and it’s usually pass 12am or early morning. But so far, everything is calm. Currently on day 19, and so far no wet dream.

Wet dream is normal. Also, if semen leak and come out when you pee, just keep in mind that it’s normal. Don’t think or pay too much attention to it otherwise it might arouse you and cause you to relapse. If you have wet dream, just ignore it. Don’t think or pay attention to it, otherwise your mind will begin to reason and find a way to just deceive you, “Well, I might as well go all the way...” Haven’t had a wet dream since the pandemic started. Not sure if it’s spiritual related because I got more aware of spiritual warfare during the pandemic... and also because I’m getting older (not sure which is which).

 

For me, I find it strange that it’s different with every attempt. With past attempts, I couldn’t last more than 2 days because the chaser effect was very strong. There were attempts where 7 days in and it was a raging battle. But this time it’s like walking on water.

As for wet dream, the time when I had victory for 1.7 year, within that timeframe, I did have WD on and off, but it was very different. What do I mean by that? Well, upon waking up, there was no chaser effect from the WD. There was no urge or desire to M any further from the WD. Around this time I was also heavily in the spirit (daily fellowship and worship with other).

Now when I have WD, there’s chaser effect and arousal from it. But so far, I haven’t had a WD yet since the pandemic started. Not sure why that is... either 1) I’m getting older and WD is the thing of the past, or 2) WD is spiritual warfare, and I got Bibles on my bed, and blanket with the names/titles of Jesus all over. Perhaps that might be the reason? I really don’t know yet.

WD is dangerous in that that’s where your mind can become irrational and try to find an excuse to release yourself. Personally, I believe there’s a distinction between chaser effect and urges/desire. Urges and desire is normal. But chaser effect comes at you, even when you’re in the middle of doing something productive.

I will put together a post talking about how to deal with the chaser effect as Christians, when I’m in the right mood for writing.

 

First two weeks for sure is my sticking point