Furry, from 0 to 100: battling Zoophilia and many others nasty fetishes

Hello! Writing this all in plaintext, since I'm lazy.

A story about me, and probably about you: I'm nearly 20. Started with porn at the age of 14, got into hardcore porn at the age of 16.

Always had an affinity for animals, which actually led me to get into Furry fandom. From that point... it has been an absolute disaster and a trainwreck. Let's dive into that!

I've naturally been gifted with a high libido. Lost my virginity at 14, and started looking at porn, just to learn new pleasurable positions for my girlfriend at that time. Then we broke up. Then I got another girlfriend, and the cycle continued... Until I got into furry fandom.

Keep in mind, that most furries have weird fetishes, but they keep the devil grounded, and are really vanilla irl. Wasn't the case when it comes to me.

I got addicted to furry porn (yiff) just instantly, and that provoked a rapid increase in extreme fetishes. What I have on my hands now is mindblowing, and it took only a couple of years to get all of them. Anything from vanilla sex scenes to Zoophilia, scat, gore and rape now turns me on. My record for PMO a day was 11. Freaky, right?




But I was fine with that. Everyone has their own secretes, you know? But then I also started getting into the ultimate dopamine-beast fetish called "gooning." And also a couple of PIEDs got into the way...
I got scared man. Started reading the scientific research about this.... Now I'm sitting here, on my 10th day, writing this essay on how not to live your life.


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TL;DR I'm an ex-furry, who got a fetish for almost any nasty thing you can imagine(zoophilia, scat, gore), including a fetish for being addicted to anything (eg. gooning).

I opted for the indefinite litemode recovery since even without porn I had an incredibly high libido, and not masturbating/orgasming is gonna be damaging to my body and overall state of mind.

I'm on my 10th day. Masturbated twice to the memories of sex with my exes, and to random people. Took me a lot longer without porn, and wasn't that much pleasurable. And the chaser effect... OMFG it's strong. Feels like your on autopilot, and just freeze. Scary af, but manageable if you block most famous P-sites and clear your surroundings from porn altogether.


Anyway, sorry for athelong post. Just wanted to check-in. I value what you people do, and thanks for all the fish.

P.S: For all da furries or others struggling with this shit on the site, feel free to contact me on Telegram (@FuckYourColor), or here. We're all gonna make it folks, haha. Peace.

 

I'm glad i'm not the only one here too!

What's HOCD?

 

If you got a messenger app, you could message me to talk about that

I'm @FuckYourColor on Telegram and Twitter

 

The most imperative in the battle is to set your priorities straight. That is all you need for a steady healing.

I have had many relapses, was really depressed and defeated because of it. Now I just said to myself, that I'm NOT keeping myself from doing whatever I wanna do, even PMO. It's just that I DO NOT NEED IT. It makes me dependent, sweaty, animalistic and unhappy.

The physical side of this addiction is already tough, but it's the mental rationalization and the fight that is beyond hard. When even on the brink of being "horny" to go and jerk off -- you maintain your calm, and deal with it like a cognizant person, not like a fucking primate.

You need to understand, that it DOES actually get better over time. It will 100% help you be more confident and gain control over your impulses, you will learn to remain calm just in any situation. So you gotta work hard and do the actual mental work.

No one can help you win this thing over, so make your own path, see the definitive points of how this thing harms you and accept the fact that you will NEVER willingly get back into it, you will NEVER enjoy it without shame and defeat.

Take care guy :---)