Forever alone

No best friend, nobody to hang out with..

My journey started 10 years ago after graduation, i had directly moved to another city for my first career. I didn't know anyone there and had to build up some relationships which is a time consuming process for myself.
After a year, lets say i was about to have some relations. Then i moved again to another country. Again had to socialy adapt and create some friends, however my situation was very difficult there and i couldn't have energy to build any kind of relations. Another year and again moved to another city. There i completely lost it, became social anixious, even after several years in same city, i had only one friend and he had to move to another place. This was the last time i had somebody to hang out with.
What really hurts is even my hometown best friends and family members had already forgotten me. Last year i stayed in my home town for 6 months, and couldn't find anyone to hang out with, even they were going out together as usual and never remember to invite me even if i asked to join.

I forgot to mention that i'm married since several years and we couldn't live together more than one year due to my moving around jobs.

Now i'm again in a third country with new culture and guess what... Alone with low social battery.

I miss my family, miss having a best friend to hang out with, and forget the life loads.

I'm seriously in pain fighting my addiction and years of lonelyness.

 

Thanks bro for the advice, it could be a state of mind as you said, but it also a result of own experience and accomulations of different social factors.
The point is that it will need a long time to change this state to a better one, and this is currently overwhelming.

 

Thats a hard question, cz where i come from, you don't have the luxury of selecting a job. If you found a good one you just hold on to it, and it doesn't matter if it is suitable for you or not as long as it guarantees paying the bills (which is rare).
I'm already doing something else now, but even this required leaving my family for some time.

 

Thats a good point.
This feeling of lonliness attaks when i'm in a bad mood, but in normal days i normally accept this fact.
Trying to change these thought in sub concious, so it wouldn't attack again in dark moods, a long process and working on it.

 

This is exactly what i meant by this post,. its more effective to have someone to support you in your long road. Even if they will not know your PMO fight, but at least they will be there when you are fighting depression and dark thoughts.

 

Appreciate the positive thoughts, normally i try to do that at the beginning, but when i'm tired and depressed it is really difficult to overcome that feeling.

 

Well, let's say since this thread was written i have tried 4 times to socialize in weekends, planned for a hang out several times and got confirmations then everyone apologizes at the last minute for silly reasons. That complicates the issues, besides increasing the loneliness it also increased the feeling of rejection.
Now i'm afraid to ask anyone to hang out. I don't want to complicate it anymore.

This shit is getting worst.

 

Believe me, your parents are the best support you will get in your life. Hold on to this grace and don't feel uncomfortable. Their emotional support is best real free emotions you will get in your life. Enjoy and appreciate it as much as you can.

 

I thought that when i got my first career, i'm the best company of myself. After 10 years of living alone, i can say i could be the worst company of myself. Socializing is a human need. At least once a week you have to make a discussion with another human being. And when you can't do it, you feel like running in a closed self centered circle which doesn't help at this point.

 

Let's find out a way to survive it.