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Celibacy with a view for a monastic life

Celebrating Celibacy!

  1. Hi everyone,

    I am a postulant and on the road to being accepted as a novice and then be under observation before being accepted as a monastic in a Buddhist monastery.

    So far I am one year without MO (I did cue-exposure therapy during the early days of my streak which helped my reboot and now I no longer need it).

    I would like to see this space where we put together all sorts of strategies and tactics on how to initiate, maintain and prevent the degeneration of our celibacy.

    I would also love to see a reading list on celibacy (bot secular as well as religious/spiritually oriented) as well as resources on celibacy such as websites and podcasts etc.

    I would also like to hear reasons as to why one has taken up the life of celibacy.
     
    Buck Danny and Gallade_Templar like this.
  2. Hello! It's nice to meet someone else who has undertaken this lifestyle. Congratulations on being clean for over a year; please keep me in your prayers as I work to achieve that level!

    I have chosen to be celibate (which for me means free of any kind of sexual activity as well as unmarried) because I am going to be a Roman Catholic priest, and celibacy is a requirement of their lifestyle. Mystically, priests are seen as being "married" to the Church, and of course a good husband wouldn't cheat on his Bride with any other woman!

    As for strategies and tactics, first, I'm curious as to what you mean by "degeneration" of our celibacy. That's not a term with which I'm familiar.
     
    Paranimmita and Buck Danny like this.
  3. Its because before one commits the act of sexual intercourse (coitus) by giving in to desire, there are a number of important red flags that can appear on the way to doing that.

    8 Breaks of Brahmacharya

    The taints of Brahmacharya according to Methuna Sutta.
     
    VTheBang and Gallade_Templar like this.
  4. Okay, I see what you mean! Those all seem like good points to keep in mind for protecting our celibacy from degeneration.

    I guess one mindset I have is to be conscious of how our affections would affect the other person. If I'm committing one of those breaks with a female or in her presence, that probably means she's breaking them too. Beyond affecting my own state, it's not fair or kind of me to place that woman's wellbeing in jeopardy. Even if she's not cognizant of it or if she doesn't agree, I think we should all help one another to live our sexualities in the most healthy and efficacious ways possible.
     
  5. The Brahmacharya is a commitment taken up by one's own choice as an available option provided one is from a religion/spiritual tradition which recognizes its use. This means that it is not compulsory for everyone even when they are of that same religion. For example, I live in a Buddhist monastery as a postulant. Everyday there are lay women who come to the monastery, and as they are householders they live a non-Brahmachari life - this is their choice. Whether attractive women come my way or not, regardless of their intentions, I can only have some degree of control over my own states of mind with respect to Brahmacharya.

    For me this would be true, if I was to do this with a nun in our monastery (hypothetically speaking). There are offence rules and monastery protocols which safeguard both parties from getting into such situations. For example, if I was to touch a nun in our monastery in a secluded place then on my way to doing that action I have violated the monastery protocols (which includes not being in a secluded place with a member of the opposite sex in it).

    I am not fully aware of the Christian view of celibacy and its standards, but in Buddhism, it is not only about being compliant with precepts but it is also a training rule. This means that when doing meditation, provided if one enters a deep state of mind, then the desire for sex goes away completely which also means that one no longer needs to rely on any form of will power to maintain celibacy.
     
    Gallade_Templar likes this.
  6. I have to say I'm much the same in that I don't know much about celibacy as taught by Buddhism. Catholicism teaches that the sex drive is ultimately good, but has become disordered, so if someone had no desire whatsoever for sex, that would be cause for investigation. Jesus taught that "everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). It's up to us to bring our passions under the control of our reason and conform our wills to God's will by following Christ's example.

    For someone who'd be entering monastic life, or seeking to become a priest such as myself, that means giving up any kind of sexual activity and lustfulness. Jesus himself was celibate.
     
    Paranimmita likes this.

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