I'd like to do the same things I see in porn with my GF, but I feel it's very humiliating

JetSki · Nov 3, 2020

Hi all.

I'm a 24 year old guy who needs some help. I have been in a relationship with a girlfriend for 4 years, and it was amazing. Sex with her was amazing, everything was right. I've never touched any porn content in 3 years: I didn't feel the need to. The same goes for masturbation: never fapped by myself.
Then suddenly one day I found porn, and I started masturbating on my own. That led to a diminishing sex appeal that I had with respect to my GF...sex was not fun enough, I wanted more.

I started desire cuming on the face of my GF like I saw in porn videos, but I never asked her. I've always felt like the girl was in a humiliating state, and I didn't want to do that to my girlfriend. So I continued fapping on those porn videos, looking for facial scenes and masturbating on those.

I broke up with my GF 2 years ago, and since then I basically continued fapping on porn videos. Last year I accidentally met another girl who I'm falling in love with, and I talked to her about what I think about facials/humiliations/blowjob while kneeling etc. She said: "since I don't know either, let's try how it is together." I finally did my first facial and I felt like I stabbed her. I felt really bad about it, something that I shouldn't have done. Despite this... I liked doing it, and she liked it too.

After that we started filming ourselves having sex, so that I could watch it whenever I wanted (I live in another country now so we don't meet each other very often) and recording facials too.

I don't know, I feel bad about it. It's like I'd only like to cum on someone else's face, regardless of whoever that person is. A pornstar is ok, my GF is ok, another pretty girl could be okay too. I'd really love to stop thinking about facials and all of this shit. I also think about giving a blowjob while kneeling is also a sign of "weakness" like if you are a slave who just has to suck while kneeling.

Any advice is very well appreciated, thank you.

JetSki · Nov 3, 2020

Update: I deleted the recorded videos with facials with her that I have on my phone.

ZenAF · Nov 3, 2020

First thing I would say is that you shouldn't feel ashamed for liking facials or getting turned on when a girl is in a submissive stance in front of you. You could describe anything that isn't just straight up vanilla sex and still turns you on as a kink. So are facials. Everybody has kinks. Many people never discover them and then some day they die. Some day you're going to die too. How you spend your time until then is your business, if you're not hurting anybody, which you're not since the situation you described was consensual.
Is the facial stuff perpetuated by porn? Yes. Is it just because of porn? No it isn't, because I saw tons of facial scenes in my life and I'm not as interested as you in trying that particular thing. Which is to say, what we end up liking as a kink has a lot to do with our upbringing. How guilty you feel when you do it has also to do with your past.

So try not to judge it as whether it is morally good or bad. It's alright as long as you're not forcing yourself on somebody else.

JetSki said: ↑

I also think about giving a blowjob while kneeling is also a sign of "weakness" like if you are a slave who just has to suck while kneeling.
Click to expand...

Yes, kneeling in front of somebody is a submissive posture. Guess what, most girls LIKE to be submissive. Some like to be dominant. Some like both depending on the partner. Same with guys. It obviously turns you on to dominate a girl by cumming on her face. That's cool, just find somebody who likes cum on their face and you'll live happily ever after.

Now about the whole

JetSki said: ↑

I'd really love to stop thinking about facials and all of this shit
Click to expand...

If you're thinking about it A LOT, that means it's an unsolved problem to your mind. Probably because you feel morally conflicted but at the same times it turns you on. Decide what you want and it will stop bothering you. Remember, you'll die someday. Can't stress that enough with this generation because most people live their life like it's endless and therefor make dumb choices.

SelfControlIsTheGoal · Nov 3, 2020

Nothing wrong with liking being above your girl, tons of women like that too (I would say a majority).
If it makes you feel bad then you should stop and do something else. But if its just because its from P I wouldn't sweat it.

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I'd like to do the same things I see in porn with my GF, but I feel it's very humiliating

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