Getting Real Grip on life

Hello friend
I am writing journal for the first time.
Here I would discusse the changes that I am observing in my life.
Person short History:-
I am trying to give up this addiction from mid 2019which I always considered as bad habit only, but, lately understood that it is an addiction for me.

I join this forum in Aug 2019. I am yet to reach my 90 days mark. In between I have done 24/28 days and few streak of weeks. Initially abstaining for 1 day was a challenge. I have been exposed to high speed internet porn from 2016.previosly also I was watching but due to high speed porn and accompanied isolation in my life made things worse. I only come to know about this addiction in 2019 and I am striving to overcome it.

Today I am on day 20. Feeling good composed and closer to reality. I don't know why but I am sure this time I will overcome my pmoing fully. ( inner voice and confidence)

Those people who are in doubts about doing Nofap challenge or not take my word that you are loosing nothing at the cost of getting many many things....

I will keep posting.
Together we can, Together we will

 

@L3'sG0
I promise bro, we will go out of this den......

I will..... Best wishes for u.... Did my 21 days today

 

Thanks brother

 

Tha ks brother

 

Thanks bro i will incorporate this..... Hw r u doing.

 

On Day 23,
This is my one of the longest streak, but this is the purest streak.

Lastly when I did 26,28,54 days, I did something always like watched porn on day 13 and then back off, touched myself once. But, I didn't conised then in my count and moved on. But, deep down alwys you know that this is not pure 30 days. And once u fail u fail in coming 3/4 days...

This time I have taken personal vow. That is helping me a lot. Apart from this I personally think that those semi pure streak helped me to build myself, and today I am doing this pure streak because of those failures and learning from them.


One lesson learnt from them

Your mind trick u
Like

• One time only
• It doesn't affect my recovery
• Facebook insta hot girls are not porn
• Normal women on Facebook is not porn but, our intension is like as if they are pornstar
• Masturbation with fanasy in hard mode is good
• Searching Nautorios things like what girls, what boys likes etcc bla bla bla is not reset

But, the fact is these are all deception, we are deceiving self. Because we are giving artificial pleasure to mind with dopamine.

Most importantly we are not keeping our own words.
So pure is pure.

So I found out that writing down our own set of rules and date helps and in the initial phase being kind with self also helps.
What matters is not to give up

 

Day 25,
I am abstaining and keeping my vow of not PMOing.
Still there is void, there is quest what's going on. There is lack of clarity for whatni will do in my life.

One thing that I am sure now is that porn addiction is symptoms, not disease.

I am abstaining but I have to inculcate many new things.... Most importantly I have to break this stagnation in my life....

 

Day 27!
Personal Best.
Today I am having some notorious thought.

I am going to add some goals in life..
One amongs them is half marathon.
From tomorrow morning I would start running frame scratches after gap of 10 months..

I have to fill the gaps in life.. Just abstaining will not help..

 

Days are simply passing in life. What to do what not to do?
there is a lack of clarity in my life.
The more we kept to ourselves and not do anything without direction, the more life and rules are going to be forced on us.
if we are not directing the life ourselves then we have to go by the flow or the lifes rule and other peoples will, will be forced on us.

 

Hello friends,

I was thinking, If I should really write here in success story or not! Here legends wrote about 2 years, 90 days, semen retention and 500 days and many many things. And here I am just completed my 30 days that too after long time. Then I thought leave about others, my story is my story, even if one person feels connected to it and could feel that, he must do / keep doing Nofap then, this exercise is worth it.

Background:
I am 31 yrs old. Pmoing from last 12 years. But, exposed to high speed easy access porn from last 5 years( 4 G net launch in India).

Right now, I am struggling with my career and trying to bring things in order.

Why I started these
I was great student in my school days, but, my performance deteriorated immensely from my puberty. I was shy studious guy, but, when I was 15/16 I started

 

I have to start again,
I had to reset counter and most importantly, I have to pick up threads and fight back.

Now I am feeling good that the the pmoing can we cured if u win over urges. It's not pmoing that comes first . It's the urges that bits the mind first. If we could manage them simply observe then, while they are coming and making tsunami in mind.

Urge management and observeing through silent breath... Is the next experiment I will do