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9 weeks in-- but what is my problem?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Jay-t, Nov 2, 2020.

  1. Jay-t

    Jay-t Fapstronaut

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    I am 31 and a full time college student and I am trying to better myself.. the last 2 years I have been on a number of streaks(couple good ones;5 weeks, 8 weeks), 10 being my highest.

    This morning marked 9 weeks. I don't know how I feel. In the first weeks, I felt determined because all I really needed to do was...well...NOT do something..(not touch myself, or look at porn)easy enough. Since we are in a quarantine..I haven't been out to catch female attention or test out any benefits.. so its discouraging.. I dont have a lot of energy either..the further I go the more I start to think..."just pmo its not going to hurt". I am also starting to reach out to females I know trying to charm my way into meeting up for sex. this is what is scaring me..I am 9 weeks in..shouldn't I be Buddha by now? does talking dirty to a girl count as relapse? I am trying to better myself what am I doing here? why am I reverting backwards? I am also having terrible dreams, nausea. I have dropped off the mountain plenty of times and I know what it feels like at the bottom so I am not going to make that mistake.

    The only positive is -I dont feel the guilt I once felt after pmo'ing..This was a good feeling at first but that fact that this is my only positive is getting old.. I want more. I planned to stay clean and then go back to school in the spring as a new man but now the classes are all online for spring again. I don't know what to do..Am I in for a long reboot?
     
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2020
    Henryforward likes this.
  2. A stronaut

    A stronaut Fapstronaut

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    Bro exactly the same withe am at day 75, but trust me we just need longer reboot dont be surprised if it will take up to 4 to 6 months before you see changes, but personally i have prepared my mind for it even if it will take one year, i will continue my reboot
     
  3. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

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    I didn't really just read that, did I?
     
  4. Thaala

    Thaala Fapstronaut

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    I already made several sequences to last and my last one lasted more than 120 days. First, don't count the days exactly, just have a notion, don't create a perspective of the future, live today, because the present is the only thing that matters. If you are too worried about becoming Superman, the only thing you will get is frustration. As long as you live without having control over your troubled thoughts, you will still be a porn addict. I went through extremely difficult periods in my reset, I even had pressure problems. But it was my fault for having generated this condition. So consciousness is the key to any addiction, know that you are not your mind or your body, you are pure energy, infinite energy.
     
  5. I went 4 months, twice. I still felt like shit throughout both streaks. I believe a lot of us who reach that are experiencing at least minor or major forms of PAWS. This journey is going to take 6-12 months I believe to even be a starting point and then you can start to maybe see if you are healing. Go for a year man. You can do it.
     

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