NoFap journey over the span of 2 years

Hello everyone, I will share my story about my NoFap journey. (Backstory about me, I am an Indian male lived most of my life in India).
At the age of 17 I fell under the spell of P and M, High speed internet was not a common thing in india back then, so I would watch after hour movies or buy DVDs and hide them inside my chemistry book..
I was more than an average student through out my school life scoring (75-80)% but at 12th grade which is the most important grade as per Indian society lol no pun intended I barely passed my boards exam scoring 57%. That was the first effect of heavy P and M, I was too naive and ignorant to see that and I continued with my P and M journey, I had to drop a year and prepared for my engineering exams but I failed miserably and ended up joining a private engineering college with my fathers financial support. All this while I would spend 4 hours minimum in watching P, dirty chats, role play with strangers. Already the dark cloud in my brain had formed within a year of P abuse but I really dint care. I entered college continued watching P, now that I had a laptop and internet. I somehow managed to pass my engineering course with very low CGPA.
aka (GPA) I did made some amazing friends, now when I look back I feel inspite of having a negative energy around me due to P abuse, I was lucky to come across such amazing people at college.I started working after I finished my engineering degree and also had my first gf, over the years I have talked to girls online and in real but never had a real gf with whom I would be intimate with, I had sex for the first time with her and my mind screams out ..:: P is so much better than sex! My mind was completely taken over by this P abuse, we broke up I did not feel a thing or remorse, I left my job and came back to my home town and started, preparing for exams, looking for jobs... EVERY ONE PLEASE HOLD ON TO THEIR DEVICES, I am going to drop a bomb now! I WASTED 7 YEARs !!!!!!!! Of my life,Sitting in my room watching P all day long, my parents were absolutely broken seeing me like that. They did not know what is going on with me , as I don’t smoke or drink or go out at nights with friends, they kept thinking why is he so unmotivated to do anything, there would be fights with them where I would feel suicidal and would want to leave the house and within minutes I would lock my door and start watching P. This continued till 2018 Feb, during this span of time I made new friends mostly online friends, some of them even visited my home city in India to meet me, everytime and with everyone of them, I would try to have sex I wouldn’t be able to get it up, so I was suffering from PIED as well, again my ignorant mind wouldn’t educate myself and kept making excuses to myself like ( oh they are not as hot as the porn women that’s the reason I’m not hard) silliest of excuses I know.In reality they were very attractive. So for a guy who’s life was P and loved sexy woman but couldn’t get it hard when he would meet one. So cut to chase 2018 FEb, I wake up one day and I look myself in the mirror and I tell myself may be I should stop watching porn and see what happens, by then series of PIED incidents had happened with beautiful women, some were blondes... so I start to research and come across NoFap, I start reading about it , watch videos. Years of P abuse wouldn’t let a dopamine hungry mind let go easy, so I would control myself for 4 days and I would relapse, maximum I would go for 30 days and I would relapse, I remember when I started this journey, those 4 days would feel like hell, during my dreadful 7 years, I have said no to trips with my friends because I would not be able to watch porn, that is how bad it was for me.
2018 oct I turn 30.... I am still struggling with relapses, I tell myself I should stop today or I will never ever forgive myself and always be a looser being stuck in this room while my friends make a good life. May be becuase I started the NoFap journey inspite of relapses my brain started to respond and my soul genuinely felt bad about my situation.
Light at the end of the tunnel
It’s been little over two years today.
I haven’t relapsed
1. I have a career now as an engineer
2. I am in the USA working for a Fortune 500 company ( it’s a kind of a big deal for Indians)
3 I am married to a beautiful and supportive woman who helped me come to the USA and start my career
4 I am in my greatest shape I ever been since I work out 5 days a week
5. I mediate every day 20 mins to keep my mind sharp.
6. My confidence level is 70 now compare to -100 I wish to reach +100 in years to come
7. I will purse my MBA soon once I feel more settled In this country
8. So my old me is no more , it’s the reincarnation of someone new .
I am not very religious but I do believe I must have done something good in my past life, which gave me will power to stop what I was doing and completely change my direction in life .
NoFap works! Specially if you do monk mode
I do not know the science behind it, but it works.
P.S Female attraction people talk about is true, I have met and talked to more women after I stopped PMO. They feel the energy of you, and see clarity in your eyes.
I hope this can inspire my fellow country men and others from all over the world
Only regret I have , I wish I had the will power to change when I was in my 20s.... I feel I would have achieved much more. But such is life, you make what you have always be grateful.
I apologize for this long post, this is the first time for me.

 

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I have had sex with my wife in last 2 years but I do practice monk mode for 90 days at a time.