1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

anyone with 12 years of addiction ?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Samv77, Nov 2, 2020.

  1. Samv77

    Samv77 Fapstronaut

    8
    7
    3
    want help to do things for faster recovery.
     
    theprotagonist likes this.
  2. FoundTheFreedom

    FoundTheFreedom Fapstronaut

    346
    298
    63
    I've been addicted for 30 years. I've damaged relationships because of it. I'm in a relationship now that is hanging on by a thread and I've finally decided to do something about it. Find hobbies to do or get into exercise. Anything that burns off energy is a good thing. Get so busy that you don't have time to think about porn or fapping. Above all else, be clear about WHY you are interested in ending the addiction. I didn't commit to no fapping until I did around three days of research into porn addiction and determined for myself, I was addicted. My SO tried to tell me I was addicted several years ago but I wasn't ready to hear it. About a month ago, I was ready to hear it. I took the time to find a reason to be committed. I even researched the crime I had been hearing behind the scenes of the porn industry. It was revolting. I hope you can find your "why" and commit as well. Then find better substitutes for porn and fapping, like reading, exercise, a good hobby, whatever keeps you busy. Good luck.
     
  3. Ansaha

    Ansaha Fapstronaut

    17
    35
    13
    Good reply founthefreedom..

    Addiction is something that dominates you, your not free because of it. My "why" was to release myself from that slavery. Anyways.. Commit yourself to something, anything really that has a meaning in your life, I think it should be something that sparks that emotion, that feeling of excitment and anticipation: your just like "I can't wait to go back and do it again" and "im learning so much I want to learn more" <-- this stuff is that magic that has been hiding under your addictive behaviour, just waiting to be realeased, waiting for you to get rid of that self destructive behaviour of addiction/pleasure loop. At first the prgress is slow (sorry, no easy way out) but little by little you gain confidence that it's the right path and day by day you gain more strength from these things you CHOOSE to do instead of watching P and fapping the shit out of your dick or whatever it is your doing when addictive behaviour takes a hold of you. Choose your own freedom and stick with it, find something that sparks your passion :) Take care
     
  4. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

    12 her and 6 actively trying to quit
     
  5. FoundTheFreedom

    FoundTheFreedom Fapstronaut

    346
    298
    63
    So far, eleven days and few if any urges. I've been involved in political things, I read, I take care of my dog, been too busy to miss porn or fapping. I'm determined never to look at porn again and I don't miss it. I feel my head is clearer and I sleep better. To be honest, lately, before the ten days, I looked at porn and fapped as a release at night to help me sleep better. Because of my ADHD and my political activity, I have been awake longer than usual. I usually don't get to bed until between 2 am and 4 am. After tomorrow, when everyone has hopefully voted, I can stop doing my political activity and go back to reading my self-improvement books. I can spend more time trying to control my ADHD. Part of ADHD is compulsive behavior so that may be why I was addicted for so long. In any case, I definitely need to revamp my life so that I can get to sleep earlier and get things done during the day. I doubt I'll be staying up late tomorrow night watching voting returns come in. Too stressful. I have to do things that reduce stress not increase it.
     
  6. JoeinUSA

    JoeinUSA Fapstronaut

    Twelve years of addiction? How about 43 years of addiction! And that can be you, too, if you don't clean this up now, my friend. I didn't have these recovery tools back then. Best wishes!
     
    Alleman, ontheroadat40 and Roady like this.
  7. FoundTheFreedom

    FoundTheFreedom Fapstronaut

    346
    298
    63
    Wow, someone whose addiction is longer than mine! My addiction is 30 years long. I still think the first step to recovery is to clearly and specifically determine WHY you want to quit. If the reason for you is strong enough, nothing will stop you. That's where I am and what helps me keep going. My addiction killed one relationship and badly damaged my current one. Women don't want to compete with porn stars at least the ones I've been with. It just added to my SO's depression. Add that to being post-menopausal and it's not a good combination. I want a real relationship and, if possible, a more realistic view of sex. For most of my life, it has been about orgasm. It's much more than that. It's a connection. It's "dancing in your partner's soul". So those are my reasons for getting off this merry-go-round. Why have you decided to get rid of your addiction?
     
    ontheroadat40 likes this.
  8. JoeinUSA

    JoeinUSA Fapstronaut

    For me, it's proving as a mysterious backward growth. First, I'm growing inwardly in every other aspect of my life - humility, patience, self-forgiveness, forgiveness of others, mercy, kindness, healing inner past woundedness, etc., all things even more important than no-PMO. The journey of recovery forges stronger character. The last man standing for me is the hollowed-out, cardboard cutout of PMO addiction, which will finally and easily fall by a brief gust of wind.

    .
     
    Jo-trying, ontheroadat40 and Roady like this.
  9. ElderStatesman

    ElderStatesman Fapstronaut

    25 years on the internet. Another 25+ before that with magazines, 8mm films, videos,etc. Thought it was normal back then. (Actually, you can rationalize that it is because of statistics.) Didn’t really think in terms of Addiction until I was spending so much time on the internet.

    In my journal, I’ve written about the several times I’ve tried to quit, as well as other thoughts including my history, the powerful attraction of sex, and about trying to recover. It helps to write about it.

    Congrats on 100 days! Obviously you’re doing some things right.

    One day at a time.
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2020
  10. theprotagonist

    theprotagonist Fapstronaut

    116
    61
    28
    damn, That's John Bronco !!!!
     
  11. Trobone

    Trobone Fapstronaut

    576
    938
    93
    One thing to add - there is no such thing as a fast recovery. Everyone has their own speed - and it's usually one day at a time. Learn a bit today, read a bit today, be mindful today, do it again tomorrow
     
  12. Randy Andy

    Randy Andy Fapstronaut

    382
    424
    63
    I used pm+ for about fifteen years, at least twelve for sure and maybe as much as seventeen I'm not totally sure. But I am sure how long I haven't had to do those things: 2799 days.

    It reminds me of a story I heard:

    Matajuro went to Mount Futara and there found the famous swordsman Banzo. He asked Banzo:
    "If I work hard, how many years will it take me to become a master?"

    "Oh, maybe ten years," Banzo allowed.

    Matajuro explained: "I am willing to pass through any hardship if only you will teach me. If I become your devoted servant, how long might it be?"

    "Oh, in that case at least twenty five years," said Banzo.

    "My father is getting old, and soon I must take care of him," continued Matajuro. "If I work far more intensively, how long would it take me? I will undergo any hardship to master this art in the shortest time!"

    "Well," said Banzo, "in that case you will have to remain with me for seventy years
     
    theprotagonist likes this.
  13. theprotagonist

    theprotagonist Fapstronaut

    116
    61
    28
    I was exposed to hardcore porn since I'm 11 and it's being maybe 15 years or more and I'm tired. I started PMO only when I was 17 or 18 so have a decade of PMO. All this leads To HOCD which makes me suffer sometimes. Now I am giving my best to end all PMO and Porn Watch (it not more a source of entertainment but an addictive drug).
    I need to rewire my Brain's Cortex with Long-term helpful kinds of stuff.
     
  14. theprotagonist

    theprotagonist Fapstronaut

    116
    61
    28
    WOW, 500 days no PMO that's a milestone brother !!!!
    what's your secret for so long without PMO can you share?
    thank you!
     
  15. Randy Andy

    Randy Andy Fapstronaut

    382
    424
    63
    I looked for experts because my auction was getting worse than just things I felt shame about into stuff that was seriously problematic or rather could have been. I never had any external consequences but there was risk, none of the experts helped at all. Until I met one who had personal experience with addiction and had found a solution, introduced me to others who said they were still addicts even though they hadn't used pm+ in well over 500 days ( notice big differences from common ways of thinking online: x days and you're good, used to be an addict, just need more sex with women, etc. Only thing I'll say against is with that last one sex positive is not the same as the idea that lots of sex cures porn addiction I am sex positive and my exp has never been that sex cured me). I was confused: based on how they talked it was clear they used like I was using but now they didn't it made no sense to me. And on top of that they were very happy, I had never met such happy people not even people on drugs and they said it included being happy about "not having to" use pm+. As confused as I was I was intrigued and I slowly started doing what they did, even though I really didn't want to I dragged my feet and bitched a lot :). I noticed my addiction getting even worse still and felt despair. I still believed that I wanted to use pm+ and so I often did, these friends of mine weren't pushy at all they knew each person chooses for themselves. But I kept trying.
     
  16. BudBundy99

    BudBundy99 Fapstronaut

    61
    59
    18
    I'm over 10 years addicted, you don't think about how damaging porn can be IN the moment since it provides that instant hit to make you feel good, that dopamine hit and its like when you think about it:

    1) How does porn BENEFIT me? It doesn't... it takes away time, emotion in a lot of cases money, as you escalate...from free to paid content to see it in higher resolution and in better quality, for me it escalated from low-res videos to full HD and no doubt I would've gone to 4K and VR both of which have taken off now... but it just keeps you ensnared in the addiction

    2) It escalates, its a slippery slippery slope, unchecked porn just increases your LUST I read here a lot of guys end up paying for sex and once you cross that line that's it you're carrying that on your conscience...the REST of your LIFE you have to LIE and keep that as a secret from most everyone your family your friends by getting out NOW with JUST porn use its certainly a lot LESS shameful given how prevalent it is, I honestly feel its better to be a virgin than to lose your virginity to a prostitute...no doubt...emotionally that'll just totally mess with your head and LOWER your self esteem and then you're in ANOTHER addiction

    3) Its a DEAD END road, I never ONCE asked what's the end game with porn? What am I looking to get? Its just endless titillelation, and its video after video its a goddamn vortex....video after video and eventually escort after escort until your life is nothing but porn and escorts which isn't a way to live as you're lying to yourself and living in moral depravity trying to keep a fantasy alive...instead of wanting better in reality...

    DO other things to connect with others, I love board games for example as you connect with people in real life, the opposite of addiction is connection..
     
  17. Mo1989

    Mo1989 Fapstronaut

    198
    314
    63
    16 years of addiction and struggling. Failing again and again. Whenever i abstain for a few weeks i feel good till out of nowhere i relapse heavily and then feel very bad, so bad that its unimaginable. I have lost my job. I am away from my family and this lockdown is getting on nerves when you can't socialize, involve in sports and now its winter with gray, cold and rainy days.
     
  18. BudBundy99

    BudBundy99 Fapstronaut

    61
    59
    18
    Read, I find reading helps make a list of WHY porn is bad there's just so many, even from the BEGINNING of porn, like...pornography the word literally means Depictions of prostitutes, porn also has mob origins so its been shady from the very beginning...
     
  19. syefox

    syefox Fapstronaut

    16 years here, I developed it since I was 12...now I am trying to quite because I hate being enslaved, I hate not being able to satisfy my porn desires in real life because they are just not realistic at all !
    never been interested in anyone sexually more than a few minutes, and now whenever I have sex I either go limp mid-process or just get no hard on at all !!
    so basically PIED, now trying to get over the need for masterbation, relapsed again and again but won't quite.
    you can do it bro, just keep coming back at it
     

Share This Page