Obsession with perfect beauty

#######Trigger warning#########


While i dont have transgendered person, femdom, or other extreme categories of porn, I am obsessed with perfect round natural breasts, good looking small and zero wrinkle face, clean shaved, hourglass and fit body girls. Growing up I always thought of having sex with perfect girls would be the ultimate pleasure even though I never had sex until 25. Of course I know sexual gratification is not thr center of life but I am always seeking it. Having only 1 partner and sex with 1 partner only always make me curious about what if I have sex with a hotter girl. My standard became so high and unrealistic where I prefer jerking off to those perfect instagram girls rather than sex with my partner. I understand people talk about regrets and stuff with escorts or multiple partners. Of course they can say that since they tasted the forbidden fruit already. They fell and picked themselves up. Its just I am so visual and touch. I have a lustful feeling to want to touch nicer breasts on a prettier girl on my standard.

99 percent of the porn feel ugly and trash to me. I always skip to those with nice bouncy tits, or the japanese type of porn with the girl being forcefully groped or molested but with white girls in it, or fake soft core rape...

Now I am at the point where I dont think my partner is attractive because she is not the type that I find attractive like my perfrct dream girl. I know I am an ass for saying that but how can I stop being shallow and follow this endless curse. My partner knew about my porn use....I got no game in real life and I know I will never get hot girl like Alexandra Dadario or Megan Fox. It just that I am so obsessed and curious about how good it will feel to have sex with my definition of a perfect 10 girl in all categories. I also realized I am too selfish and obsessed with instant gratification... It ia just so curious to taste a hot girl for my fantasy. I feel like betraying to myself if I just quit lusting for hot girls in a way. How do I conquer this while staying with my current partner?

Anybody with similar struggles as me? Any good small baby first step advice?

 

Of course i know most men disnt get the chance but that doesnt help to stop one from wanting it to happen to him. I knew stopping know would he the key but the how in small steps with guidance is the part I need help with. It felt like a betrayal to my own desire if I were to never feel that pleasure in a way. Just wanted to taste the ultimate pleasure once. How does one person have a strong enough mind to do that by ignoring his desire...

 

I think you are into taboo and radical things that stimulate your mind maybe. I think my stanard of beauty was skewed partly because of my Asian culture and growing up watching anime with close to perfect bodies. I was conditioned to chase the hard ball. Question is I need step by step guidance that feels doable to reset and lower by expectation bar....

 

good you can think like that. I admire that. That is already a huge step since you appreciate women whole hearted like that. I have a narrow mind of beauty due to my habits I mentioned above and my culture...